


Change in Perceptions (Frisk x Reader)

by CreepyLittleLullaby



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Blind Character, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Disabled Character, Discrimination, Drowning, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, I'm a shitty writer, Mute Frisk, Other, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Racism, Selectively Mute Frisk, This poor child, Traumatized character, WHy do you all like this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 46,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepyLittleLullaby/pseuds/CreepyLittleLullaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It truly was a miracle, dreams. They may not come true, but they definitely felt nice while they were here. You skipped and spun, enjoying the freedom, not only from yourself and the anxiety, but from the adults.</p><p>        You looked around, you were alone. You thought about Frisk, if this were true you would miss them, but you would meet again.</p><p>        You froze as you saw darkness again. Crowding away the sun and vivid colors as they crept closer. You curled, and backed away from in, before giving in to the unavoidable fate.</p><p>~♥~</p><p>Sometimes, life hands you something that you can handle, but others can't. That's why you need a change in perception... maybe a smart talking skeleton too...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Feels White

**Author's Note:**

> This is a complete fanfiction, I do own it, I have it posted on other sites, they are under my pen name at CreepyLittleLullaby, if you see it else where, or under someone else's name, do contact me!
> 
> With that said, enjoy~

You feel around the walls, your fingers dusting the rough and chipped paint. Your inner thoughts seemed to surface and project themselves loudly in the front of your mind, where was the door? You sigh before stopping at the feeling of hard plastic bumping into your fingertips. You reach for the switch blindly and flinch, feeling light hit your skin as your sensitive eyes twitch unblinkingly. You can see dim grayish shadows, some darker than others as you navigate the room. The light barely helping to navigate you in the room.

This was just going to start out to be such a wonderful day, wasn’t it?

You couldn’t figure out where the door was, it just all meshed together like the worst version of 'Where's Waldo' ever created. Only this wasn’t a sea of people, it was just you, in a sea of greys and blacks. Looking for a single white door that didn’t even resemble a shape in your blurry mess called vision. You weren’t surprised, you couldn’t see two inches in front of yourself light or no light. Your depth perception had been gone for a while, your eyes flicked back and forth in the empty space uncontrollably. They looked glazed over as you blankly stared at a chuck of wall, feeling around for an edge.

Your fingertips hit a corner and you groan, not again. You were sick of these damn corners, you were surprised you hadn’t hit your closet, or your desk. It was disorientating to wake up on the floor after a rough night, and not know where the heck on the floor you’ve awoken. You try again, this time you drag your nimble fingers across the trim of the wall. You were dimly surprised to not have gotten a splinter by now as you run into the door.

You smiled weakly as you grabbed the handle and swung it open, quietly slipping through the now ajar door into a hallway. You adjust your dress, and felt it for wrinkles once more, none so far. You hoped it was clean as well, it felt white that would make it extremely easy to stain, and you would be none the wiser. You just crossed your fingers and hurried to the bathroom, where you cleaned up, brushing your hair, cleaning your teeth. You walked out of the bathroom once you were satisfied that you were as clean as you were going to get. 

You twirled a bit, spinning your hips as you felt the air around you swish. You smiled a bit, liking the feeling before you dropped the smile and continued on your path. Your feet padded down the hall silently, past your mother, who was most likely passed out on the couch based on the snores. You hand curled around the rough strap of your bag and you hoisted it onto your shoulder as you quickly tugged on your shoes.

You stuffed your keys into your bag and a cereal bar into your mouth before pulling on your small jacket. Black? It felt rough, maybe pleather? You didn’t bother to over think it, it kept you warm, and that was all that mattered as of now.

You walked out of the front door, closing it as you took your steps slowly feeling the pavement with the soles of your shoes. You think they were boots, but you weren’t sure since it felt like normal cloth. They could also be high tops with thick soles. Either way they were hardy, and strong, that's all you cared about.

You turned on your heel, keeping your toes brushing the concrete. You knew that you would wear down the tips of your shoes, if they weren’t already that is, but you would risk that. You would rather have to worry about getting new shoes than trying to make sure you didn’t accidently walk off into the street. Honestly speaking, who would win really, you or a car?

Yeah, you guessed the car too.

You trudge down the walk, listening closely to the cars and feeling every pitiful gaze or hateful glare directed towards you. Unknowing to the number of people that ignored you, you couldn’t feel people’s stares when they weren’t looking at you. You frankly didn’t know how you knew when they did? Your school was only down the road, which you liked, it wasn’t the best one, but it was proficient in its purpose. The only bad thing being the stupid fact that some people blamed you for needing extra help, help and funding that could apparently go to their kids. Spiteful, hateful adults with spoiled, hateful kids.

Didn’t they realize any extra money was more than likely going to sports rather than books or school lunch anyway? It was ignorant of them to think otherwise, than again, being stupid has never stopped them anyway…

You held your head high, your eyes set to where you thought the horizon line belonged. You wouldn’t let them hurt you with their words, it would be useless to let them anyway. You belonged here just as much as they did, and you didn’t care about your short-comings. You were proud to be you, no one could ever change that, right?

You stopped as you felt the sidewalk dip down, causing you to stumble forward, it was the road to the front doors. Crossing the street was always what scared you the most, the cross walk had a light, but really, what help was a flashing green light that you couldn’t even see? You refused to show your apprehension as your gaze hardened in stubbornness and you waltzed across the curving street. You let yourself take a breath as you feel the sidewalk cracks once more against your thick soles. You don’t know why you always expected something to happen, you really didn’t, were you just paranoid? You couldn’t tell anymore, so you didn’t think about it.

You walk past school’s main parking lot just as the buses let out their occupants. You curse your timing as, in what feels like no time at all, bodies are pressing in on you from all sides and pushing you out of their way as they rushed to get to the school’s entrance. You sighed as you wished that you would’ve go to drop off lane... then again you didn’t as you knew some of the PTA moms dropped their kids off there. They were so cruel to you, their words at least were. You didn’t even know where an adult could get the idea to spout such awful words to a child.

Then again, you didn’t really wonder about that, you just accepted it as a piece of your daily life and moved on.

Your hands brushed against your covered arms as you curled against yourself, shoulders slumping slightly. Your confidence, that you had built up so carefully over the weekend, was plummeting as you heard the whispers with your sensitive hearing. Not that your hearing was better than any normal person's, you just learned to pay attention and listen. Everyone could do it if they wanted to, but they didn’t care to really. More occupied talking than to actually think about what would happened if they actually listened for once. You shook off your pessimistic thoughts as you headed off to a bench that was beneath a tree on the front yard of the school. It was quieter and nicer to wait there for school to start then in those filthy and loud school halls.

You pulled your body up onto the cool wood and closed your eyes and enjoying the morning breeze as it brushed through your hair, it felt so nice. You reopened your eyes, not really caring about that fact much, it only made the world a bit brighter. Grey shadows and dark shadows were still mixing together from light sources. There weren’t any colors, but you were thankful for the fact you could see something other than the blankness, that indescribable color that was even worse than black.

You wished you could see white, you knew the color from your dreams. Those beautiful colors, you couldn’t name all the shades, but white soon became a favorite of yours. It felt warm and fuzzy, it almost even felt bright. That’s why, even though it was hard to clean, you loved to wear white, it just made you feel happy, like a little light in the night sky.

You thought you could feel more eyes on you, but you deemed them as only your imagination as you tried to get your eyes to focus on your hands. You only saw blurs anymore, but that didn’t stop you from trying. However the feeling persisted, continuing as you turned your head away from your hands and got off the bench. You brushed your fingers on your watch with a butterfly touch, trying to read the the hands of the clock without moving them. Class was going to start in five minutes.

You kept your steps light as you counted the steps, purposefully dragging your feet to create sound for you to follow in the quickly receding crowd. The scraping sound bounced around the walls, giving you a good idea where you were as you slipped in the door and your form disappeared to the school.

The halls were loud even with the very few amount of kids there as you trudged through the halls to your English classroom, you liked it the most there out of all your classes. Quiet, and the kid seemed to be the nicest in that class oddly enough. The librarian that taught the class was also very nice. She treated you like a normal kid and gave you some really good braille books from her personal shelf, not from the school.

You felt her smile at you as she walked over to your desk in the decently sized room, a wooden space next to a small window which gave you a lot of sunlight. It was warm there, you always liked window. Stained glass too. The reflections with different colors against your skin always had different heat signatures. It felt so weird and cool.

You even made your own with glass shards and a mirror one time, with the supervision of the art teacher.

You heard as the teacher walked over and placed a book on your lap, “A fantasy, I think you’ll really like it. I did.”

You felt the raised font of the book, flipping the page to get it in braille. Just a Dream. You smiled, this would do. You placed the book into your bag and let your legs dangle from your seat easily as you waited for your class to file into the bright classroom and begin the day.

Maybe today wouldn’t be that bad.


	2. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new friend, a mean teacher, and a house you would almost rather be empty.
> 
> Life likes to keep you guessing doesn't it?

You sat in class, listening intently to the language arts teacher. The class was five chapters into the group reading book, you’d forgotten the title, but the story was intriguing and you couldn’t help but think of the characters being real, not part of a story. So a title was irrelevant.

You rested your head onto your palm as you focused your eyes where the teacher’s voice was bouncing through the air. Not that it mattered, your ears were tuned into the words flowing around the room without your eyes focusing on the source. You could be on the floor, staring up at the sky, and you’d still be listening to that same voice, no concentration broken. You ignored the glances sent towards you from the front of the class as you relaxed into the story.

You always liked language arts, books, they took you as far away from reality as you wished. Which, in your mind, was as far as you could get. It didn’t matter where, you’d even take going to the coldest place alive in nothing but a thin dress and shoes, it just had to be away.

You straightened back up from your slouched position as you heard the teacher put the bookmark into the pages. The smooth sliding sound, and the crinkle of pages saddened you. You adjusted your straps on your dress as you pulled out your math book. Mindlessly opening it to the page and continuing with the school day.

You wished reading was all day, you really did.

~

You sighed irritably as the bell rang, signaling your only real classroom change. You only had one because the teachers usually just switched rooms, having a designated drawer in each room for their subject. Though a few teachers stayed and taught all of the subjects in one classroom, though that was only for teachers with a certification. Which was easy to get, but many teachers didn’t care to. You got lucky, your switch was right at the end of the day, that didn’t mean you enjoyed the class. Science. You didn’t like it at all. Not because of the science, that was fun chemicals and all that were entertaining, there was just one thing about that class you didn't like at all.

You sat down feeling a sugar sweet grin, as well as a dirty look, on your back. It was that teacher, Ms. Cleary. She never liked you, she thought that because your worksheets and textbooks were braille that they made them easier for you. A more simplistic version, an unfair advantage.

A complete lie.

Your textbooks and homework were the exact same, there was even text in the written alphabet underneath the braille that could prove it. That didn’t stop you from slightly wishing that yours were actually harder. School was dull, especially with your social life being so quiet that your homework seemed to be all you did. That was okay though, everything was okay. You didn’t mind being smarter, that just meant you’d get to be the boss to all those people who made fun of you.

You hoped they would have fun serving you McDonalds every once in a while, not because the food was good, or good for you, rather to brag in the most passive aggressive way you could think.

You would enjoy that moment, and those stupid grease trap fries would taste a million times better because of it.

You sigh as the rest of the class files in, talking and laughing with their friends as they brush past you. If you listened to their gossip you wouldn’t even realize that they were fourth graders. It was shocking, and in some regards disturbing, not that you hadn’t heard worse, but you weren’t exactly a normal kid were you?

You felt someone sit next to you and you couldn’t help the confusion that filled your head as you didn’t even move an inch, had you sat in the wrong spot? Had she changed the seating arrangement?

The seating chart was something that was sacred to Ms. Cleary, it was her law. Chiseled in stone, never to be disobeyed. In this law you were never sat by anyone, not across the table even, and definitely not beside you.

You sensed their sight on you and felt them smile. You felt your mouth quirk in a half smile, they seemed nice enough. You gave a small wave and turned back to your book, until you soon had to pull your head back up as the teacher called the start of lessons and smiled at the ‘class’. Keeping her voice pointed away from you and the new kid. It seemed she didn’t even notice them there.

The class was told to pull out their books as you felt the kid look around, their hair and clothes moving to create a breeze against your skin, a desperate tension surrounded them. You frowned slightly, no one gave the kid the books they needed? You slid the book closer to them, putting your book in between the both of you, hands still in reach however. You’ve never been more glad for the written words beneath the braille, they were actually useful now.

You were thankful that the book acknowledged not everyone knew braille, though frankly you realized know braille was an oddity and only really normal in your mind because of it being all you knew. You heard the new kid sigh in relief before pulling out a notebook and joining in the assignment. You felt them grin at you as you took turns pointing out the answers.

Well, the new kid easily guided your finger to the braille over the sentence. You guessed they took the none verbal que that you couldn’t see because of the braille. You yourself would feel the answer and try to point down a bit to show them where it was. 

You enjoyed their presence and quietness, it was appreciated. The few that talked to you at first were always too loud. Maybe it was just that you were too sensitive. Maybe they just didn’t care if they were hurting you. Simply because the fact being they only spoke to you once before they disappeared, usually for good.

You slumped a bit, head hanging, before you forced yourself to straighten up and willed your spirits to rise. You wouldn’t let anyone stop you, this was your last class anyway. You would stick it through and then move onto the next repeating day.

It was as if a switch flipped with your thoughts and the minutes were ticking by more easily, you smiled at your newly acquired acquaintance and packed up your book into your messenger bag as the homework was being passed out to work on for the rest of the free time. You jerked surprised when Ms. Cleary called your name. “(Y/N)!” You turned your head to face her.

“Yes?” You call out softly.

“Did you move seats?” You heard a screeching undertone in her ‘sweet’ voice. You shook your head hesitantly, you didn’t think you did, the other kids didn’t move, just the kid beside you, who you didn’t recognize, their aura was different, you could tell. “Oh really?”

You felt her move her gaze as you tensed, you could sense danger. You didn’t like it, not one bit. “Who might you be?” You heard shifting clothing as the child beside you turned to face the obviously pissed off teacher. You guessed you had broken her unspoken law of not mingling with other students, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were given detention for that.

“Oh!” You heard her exclaim, the kindness back in her actions and voice. “You must be Frisk, Mrs. Dreemurr’s child?” You felt them shift, their hair moved against their skin, you could feel it from their close proximity. You guessed that they were nodding. “Oh good! You accidentally sat in the wrong seat so I didn’t realize!” You looked down, your shoulders drooped a bit as your heard those words. You knew that they weren’t sat by you on purpose. Though you also scolded a thought that crossed your mind in a fleeting moment. Was it bad that you thought not knowing a student because they sat in the wrong seat was a bit psychotic? Her law seemed even stupider to you now, not that you would ever argue against it. You liked living too much to do so, and you pretty sure that she would gladly wring your neck.

You felt their confusion clear as day as they were moved to another table with four other kids. Over crowded, and very chatty, not really their vibe, but then again, who were you to say anything about them? You had only sat by them for a short while, so you felt weird being thinking that as you banished the thought. You could feel their stare burning into your back, curious, and frowning. They didn’t understand yet, maybe where they came from a disability didn’t matter, so in turn discrimination was also axed out. The bell rang as the teacher grabbed (what had she said their name was again? Oh right) Frisk rather quickly and walked out of the room. She was ignoring your presence while the kid struggled to try to get away, always staring at you, never breaking that gaze until they were out of the room. She was probably going to talk with the child’s parent about their so called ‘unruly’ behavior no doubt. You wondered if they would stand up for you.

You doubted that, and even if they did, you knew it wouldn’t work, but if they did, you appreciated the sentiment.

You leaned back a bit, staring at the ceiling unknowingly with a blissful smile. You were imagining that world again, the free world. That would be nice, where a world of blank colors didn’t matter, where people wouldn’t care if you couldn’t see them.

You could walk freely in this world, not worry about those PTA parents, the teachers, the pity, the ignoring. Ignorance wasn’t bliss as they say, it was hell, a hell you faced everyday of your life. You sometimes contemplated screaming in the middle of the hallway, asking if they were blind too, because of how they acted, you could easily say they were blind to you. You had to grow up fast, way too fast, just to survive. You wondered if you could still be a kid in that world you loved to ponder on.

That would be quite a place wouldn’t it?

You chuckled lowly as you put your bag on your shoulder, yeah, in a dream that’s where you would knew this place from, the only celestial plane where you could even fathom finding it. Well, the only way to find it that was available to you as of now.

You made your way out of the classroom, your feet leading you true to your path home as your thoughts wondered past your dream land. Wondering what you could eat tonight, it was probably going to be instant noodles, again, for the millionth time in your small lifetime. You shuddered, almost gagging at the thought.

You hated those damn pasta plates, there’s a reason Italy hates America. That was why, their damn representation of food, or if it could even be called food. You would probably die of liver cancer from the tasteless garbage. You smiled, maybe you could go to Italy one day. That would be good, good food, good people hopefully. Bliss.

Then again, you would be happier going anywhere at this rate. You felt like you were on a never ending run. Constantly running, but never moving an inch, as if you were on a useless treadmill. One that wouldn’t stop until you did.

You stopped right in front of your door, twiddling your thumbs, contemplating your options as you hear the crashing and yelling going on inside. You sighed, your eyes closed as you reached for the door knob. You knew it was unlocked, so your keys were useless as of right now. The smell of crown and cigars was strong as you swung the door open. Immediately hearing ‘quieter’ grunts and moans. You winced and hurried into your own room, ignoring anything you might have heard as you passed the incriminated door.

Really, God, anywhere but here would be great.

This realization filled you with doubt for your ability to hold on much longer.


	3. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day at school for you

Your irritated nose twitched as your thoughts ran around your mind, bitter as the smell of sweat, alcohol, and herbs that burned in the air, so heavy that you swore it was scarring your nasal passages permanently. With how often you were in this position, you wouldn’t be surprised if the foulness was forever imprinted in and on your body. Working its way into your natural scent, infecting your insides. She threw another party tonight, you disliked when she did this, you rather her leave to go to party. You had to get in through your window when you got home from the store, you knew that if you walked through the front door that the pounding music would make your ears ring, and not to mention all the adults, and probably teenagers that snuck in, that would bump into you and shove you over. You also locked your door to your room. For reasons that were obvious, at least to you they were, but you weren’t exactly normal in your trains of thought.

You double checked that you locked the door as your thoughts took a darker turn. A turn that you wished you weren’t even capable of comprehending, much less worrying about how that scenario was possible. You reassured yourself that wouldn’t happen, you refused to let it happen. The loud music was practically caving your ears in, causing a major headache, you covered your head in your hands. Another reason you liked the quiet better, you had to deal with this more often than not.

Though it was only usually one ‘guest’ from a different party, the music was always just as loud, to drain out the other noises. It was close to pay day, only a couple more days. So a party had to be in order. You were lucky to have stolen a few bills for groceries before this started. You were also lucky that you had memorized where the dollar store was, and the fact that the lady there was always kind enough to help you get what you needed.

You hugged your pillow tighter as you nuzzled your face into it, you pillow in-between your legs and stomach as your arms stayed securely above your head. You were sick of this, sick of her, sick of the smells, words, and the volume. You knew that if she were actually in her right mind she would do this, but she hadn’t been in a stable frame of mind for a very long time. You could barely remember the last time she was; it was that far away from you. You looked toward the lightest shadow in the room, your window. As it usually was, it helped to try and comfort you, as you saw grey and not that blank black.

That didn’t mean tears still didn’t well up into your eyes, that you still didn’t feel helpless, or frustrated, or angry. At what you saw, or was it what you didn’t see, you didn’t care, only rocking back and forth as you continued to stare.

At absolutely nothing.

It was getting too late into the night, now as you gazed out that window, the outside world was turning into the night, and becoming the thing you were most afraid of. The inevitable in your flight of life.

Pure darkness.

You knew one day you would wake up and see nothing but the dark. It was something you felt that you’ve always none, your eyesight wasn’t getting better, and it wasn’t staying the same, it was fading even further. You didn’t go to the doctors either, it was too much money, and hopeless too, it had been so long that there was nothing to delay or even maybe prevent it. No, that was impossible. Nothing could protect you from your fear.

No one.

It was just a matter of time.

You could feel dark bags beneath your eyes, worsening as you stayed awake into the depths of the night. You weren’t going to be sleeping tonight, your fear, anxiety, and paranoia were acting up, and that was causing your thoughts to scream at you louder than even the volume of the blaring music. It would bite you in the bottom later, you knew that for sure. You just didn’t care, couldn’t find it in yourself to care or bat an eye as the clock chimed midnight, sleep just wasn’t possible.

You whimpered a bit as you heard loud cursing and pounding on your door. It was shaking on its hinges as you realized someone had been trying to get in whilst you were lost in thoughts. You knew your mother wouldn’t be happy about you denying one of her friends your ‘room’, than again, that was also dependent on if she remembered it later.

You heard the door pound harder and the hinges creak as the metal bent. You squeaked and quietly ran to your closet. You wretched the shutter open and squeezed yourself in. Closing the door firmly and huddling in the corner. You pulled the latch, the one that held the two shutters together when the closet wasn’t in use., locking the closet door. It was on the outside, but you were able to latch it through the cracks, and drunk people weren’t coordinated enough to open it. That’s why your closet also doubled as your emergency panic room.

You needed it in a place like this, in a situation like this. You heard footsteps, thudding, unsteady, and loud, then grumbling as you heard the two pairs of feet moving toward the center of your room. Your bed, your head hid into your knees as you tried to ignore the sounds. It was disgusting.

You were too young to be scared of stuff like this happening, you were too young to have your thoughts racing on how to fix or replace the locks on your door. Too young to deal with this shit! This absolute bullshit!

You finally let the tears fall down your cheeks as you leaned heavily against the wall, taking shallow breaths as you tried not to be heard. Going so far as to clasp your hands across your lips, in a vain attempt to silence and still your harsh breathing.

You briefly wondered if you could just stop breathing entirely, but you didn’t think your body would let you hold your breath that long. Your brain would kick in and survival instincts would force you to draw in that breath of life saving oxygen. Wanted or not.

Your apprehension filled you with dread for another day.

~<3~

You slumped in your desk as the science homework was announced, you were so tired, you were lucky to have lasted the entire school day so far. You were surprised you hadn’t fainted, or passed out yet, your weary body collapsing in on itself. You had been awake and running for almost, you gently felt your watch, thirty-three hours. You sigh despairingly, maybe if you wake up early you can do your homework then, and use your few hours after school home alone to catch up on some sleep.

You felt a gaze from the farther side of the room, you know immediately who it was since it was the same person who had been trying to grab your attention all day. Frisk. You smile weakly at them as you feel empathy radiating off of them, even from your position across the room. You turned away again as the teacher suddenly loomed over your shoulder.

You felt a slip being placed on the wooden surface in front of you and you sigh again, this time exasperated as you gritted your teeth. You get up resignedly and grab your bag and book, not bothering to fight it as you push in your chair respectfully. Feeling a pair of eyes follow your figure as you dragged your feet through the door, you ignore them just as you work on ignoring the feeling of smugness that was practically glowing from Ms. Cleary.

You could care less about her right now. She always gave you slips, thinking she was all that, so clever! You think she’d realize that the principal was calling her bull by now, you mean really? Three slips in the matter of a month that has barely begun?

You trudge to the office and dodge past a few teachers. You smile at one who apologizes as she bumps into you, the first one you’ve brushed shoulders with who doesn’t just give a grunt of annoyance. You scratch your neck sheepishly and smile, apologizing as well before dodging her and waving. It was your fault for not paying attention.

You feel her smile at you as you walk away and hear as she gasps when you miss the door and slam right into the glass. You stumble back and trip on the rug, landing on your back, blankly ‘staring’ at the ceiling. You go limp as you just stay there, trying to gain the will power to get up. You knew it’d come by eventually, but you were really tempted to just fall asleep then and there, but the pain in your forehead was keeping you wide awake with an annoying pulse that drummed on the spot, like an angry drummer boy seeking revenge.

You close your eyes and suddenly you feel hands lifting you up as your feet balance on instinct and you stand up once more. You try to look at her, but it you know you’ve missed as she tilts your head to look into your eyes. You don’t think she gets your disability as she simply smiles at you softly, probably mistaking your empty gaze as disorientation from your fumble, she silently grabs your hand and guides you to the nurse’s office.

You raise an eyebrow, but realize why when you feel a drop of blood shake off of your forehead and go down your cheek. Oh, that’s why, you were bleeding. Did you really hit the glass that hard, without breaking it? It hurt that bad, but you only guessed it was a bruise or something.

Tough glass.

You frowned as you didn’t hear a heartbeat in the office, there was no nurse? Didn’t they pay her to be here? You didn’t mean to be rude, but a nurse should be present in an elementary school, didn’t anyone realize how vulnerable little kids were to germs and injuries? Not this nurse at least. The woman holding your hand sighed a bit, obviously having a similar thought process to you, though it was most likely less detailed. You felt her squeeze your hand and lift you up again. This time your eyes widen as you yelp at the feeling of nothing all around you, just simply hanging out, you give a sly grin at that. You were a crappy person, a truly horrible human being, but you didn’t care, that opportunity was just too good to pass up.

She leaves you for a moment before returning and wiping off your forehead and the side of your face with a warm and damp cloth. You felt the blood clear away as you smiled at her, filling you with a completely different warm and fuzzy feeling. She continued fixing you up with disinfectant and a bandage as she finished and patted your head softly.

She spoke quietly, in a kind tone. You reveled in the soft volume, it didn’t matter if it was intentional or not, it felt nice as it flowed through your eardrums, leaving your head-ache un-irritated.

“Where are you off to now?”

You look down in shame and hand her the slip that was crinkled from the tight grip of your hands. You curl into yourself, knees against your chest, expecting a scolding. You look up surprised once more as she rubs your hair, smiling again. “Mistakes are fine, no one can be perfect all the time. It’s impossible to do so. Now let’s get you to the principal, okay?”

You just stared at her for a moment in shock, before grinning widely and nodding easily. Feeling warm and happy as she grabbed your hand once again, not fazed by the fact that you were apparently a ‘trouble maker’. You smiled to yourself as you followed her blindly. You giggled a bit at the thought, you were still a horrible, terrible person. You just felt like less of one when she looked back at you with that kind gaze. You could easily say you loved her eyes, without seeing them you could already tell they were kind, and probably wrinkled with laugh lines, revealing a happy glowing expression. You stumbled along as she stayed patient with you.

Safe, that was how you felt right now, safe and cared for. It was such a weird feeling, one you could only but dimly remember, but so nice now that you could feel it again.

It filled you with hope to go on for another day.


	4. Will to Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Principal's office visit and a new set of characters

The kind teacher walked you into the office, never letting go of your hand until the door to the principal’s office swung open and the principal smiled at you. You returned the gesture, your lips tilting up into a smile, waving a little to where you heard her shifting. Her clothes made a smooth almost shining sound, you couldn’t describe it really.

You frowned slightly as you saw the whitish shadow that was the nice lady leave your side. You froze a little as you felt a soft hug envelope you out of the blue, but you soon recognized it as the nice teacher. You relax into her embrace and hug her back, enjoying the calmness that surrounded her as you smelled pastry dough and spice. She let go after what felt like way too soon and walked away with a wave and a smile.

You turn away from the open door way, shuffling over to where you remember the guest chair being. You wince as you bump your shin against the leg of the desk before you quickly adapt and back up, pulling yourself up and twisting your lithe body onto the cushioned seat.

“So my dear, why are you here today?” You hand her the slip, being all too used to this frankly. Ms. Cleary clearly hated you, you were lucky that Miss Bryant understood that you could be discriminated against because of your disability. Not to mention, some of the excuses as to why you are a bad child are quite stupid, and amusing in the slightest.

“Hmm, her excuses are very comical. You think you can guess it this time.” You tilt your head for a moment before smirking. You shake your head, they were all very similar, but you had no clue what half-brained, accusation she had come up with this time.

“Distracting the class with irrelevant questions and constantly bugging the new student. ” You feel her look at you as you process it. “Does she even let you raise your hand? I know that you don’t sit by anyone, well, that I know of.” You felt her smile at you and you mimicked it. “You make a friend?”

You nod, and you heard her sigh and smile in approval and pride. She really tried to take good care of you since she knew no one else did, you appreciated her efforts greatly. “About time you made a friend, now you run along. The bell should be ringing soon.” You gave another nod and waved to the medium colored shadow in the center.

She liked darker colors you presumed.

You tightened the strap of your bag and walked out of the staff office just as the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. You frowned as you realized you had missed half of science, but smiled as you repeated that thought.

Half of science you didn’t have to sit through. Were you lucky or what?

You grinned as you checked your bag, you had everything you needed, so it was time to leave. You wondered if you could go to the studio and play some games, if James was there. It was Friday, over course he was there. Maybe he could teach you to play Metroid, then again. Maybe you should just stick to Punch Out. Sound cues were helpful in that game. Metroid was just a lot of sound affects for the sake of aesthetics. 

You walked out the school doors before falling on your bottom again. You heard a sneer, and laughter, you rolled your eyes at them. PTA moms, they acted like the kids they made rules for. Well, that’s a lie, at least the kids were a little less nasty and a bit more blunt with their insults.

“What a rude girl, you roll your eyes and don’t even apologize after you bumped into me? How despicable, you’re a terrible child.” You scoff and look them, hopefully, in the eye.

“I’m not the one that went across the hallway to knock a blind girl on her ass for a cheap laugh. You are truly immature, now go to your stupid meeting and make up more racist rules for monsters and kids with disabilities.” You stand up and dust yourself off, walking past the shocked and enraged adults. They didn’t do anything to stop you, only yelling after your retreating form.

“Why you little-!”

You smirk and sing, “The children Diane~” You hear her growl as you walk away, feeling extra victorious today, even if next Monday you would get in trouble or have pranks pulled on you by their kids. Like getting your homework flushed, that wouldn’t be a first really… Not that they really had to, they already made rules that tortured you daily, you never retaliated unless it was with words, and those were only on days you were feeling particularly confident and sassy.

They reminded you of your mother, who wouldn’t touch you. Just whisper hateful words or scream at your ‘incompetence’. You had to wonder if any parents really cared at all. Cared about anything besides status, their own kids, and one-upping each other. 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but only a well-placed word can kill me.” You snicker, the feeling of Friday’s freedom making you get a rush of invincibility. You walked on the pavement, your feet going to the right place as if on auto-pilot. You smiled wider as you reached the studio, an old style classic arcade. You could already hear familiar screams of frustration and rage coming from inside, wafting out with the delightful smell of cheap-ass popcorn that was drenched in butter, but so addicting.

You giggled under your breath, not daring to make a sounds as you walked in the door, smelling even more popcorn, added with a tinge of cheese powder and machine smoke. You walked over to where you remembered James’ favorite game resided, you also traced him to the familiar dark smudge hunched over a bright area. As well as his yells of triumph, or loss.

He really loved Pac-Man.

You walked up to him and tugged on his pant leg, him towering over your young height with his measurement of 5”11. Even though he was sitting down and hunched over a control panel. “Hey, hey, hey kiddo!” You grinned as you felt yourself being lifted and placed on his lap. You didn’t mind as his keys poked your small knees as you grabbed the knob, fitting it in between your small hands.

“Okay, let’s make it to level three. Then, it’s onto centipede.” You felt his boney, slim finger poised over your hand. He was warmer than you at the moment. You listened intently to the different sound cues, you were going to beat this game or may god strike you down.

You followed the bleeps of pellets being eaten until you turned a sharp right, dodging a ghost James hadn’t seen. The subtle crescendo of the music not escaping your ears, that only happened when the ghost was near. You smiled. “Nice! Let’s get the power pellet now!” You nodded, feeling the weight of his head on top of your own as he watched your movements intently. Your fingers flew as you listened for your redeeming song.

It was satisfying to say you were able to learn centipede a little while after that winning game of Pac-man. Even if you sucked at the game, it was a battle won, any time you could best a CPU, you felt like you were on top of the world.

You spent the rest of the evening curled into James as you played several games like you always did, the feeling of stability was nice as you met up with more of James’ and your high school aged friends. You felt their hugs and warmth and you felt their care for you. It didn’t matter to them or you the age difference, they loved you all the same. Many would call them weird, immature, insane, stupid. You knew they didn’t care about being labeled as crazy teens.

Adults were overrated anyway.

The strength from your friends filled you with the will to fight another night.


	5. Helplessness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You stay away from home as long as possible

Your shoulders slump tiredly as you make it to your house’s doorway, it was dark and ominous, but you still had a grin on your face as you remembered your friends at the arcade. It lit up the door way, not that you saw it really, it did feel a lot brighter however as you lost yourself in good thoughts. They treated you like family there, they were so kind to you, it wasn’t just being nice to the blind girl there. They really included you in their weird and insane family. You grabbed your keys from your bag, you didn’t see that the door was already unlocked.

Your hand went to the knob to turn it, but your hand pulled back quickly as the door swung open on its own. You waited for a moment, expecting your mother to curse you out for something or other. You heard nothing, so you reached out, fingers stretching gently as they brushed the door frame. Splinters? You gently feel around the wood, feeling it broken and busted up. It was amazing to you that it was even keeping shape and structure. You look at the inside of the dark house, you couldn’t see anything more than the usual void, but you did hear noises. You waited once more before darting away. There was no way you were going in there, not now.

You didn’t know completely what happened, but you could infer it wasn’t anything good. Nothing good at all. All the ideas your brain could come up with revolved around burglars, murderers, and things that went bump in the night. That fueled your energy with fear as you sprinted further down the road, it was late so the streets were empty as you raced through them to the outskirts of town. You didn’t have to worry about getting hit by a car, but that also meant there was nothing obstructing you from view if someone went after you. You tripped over your own feet in your panic, but it didn’t stop you as you pulled your body back up, your knee bleeding as you darted away. You didn’t care about that anyway, as the red liquid ran down your leg, staining your sock and shoe, dribbling down the cement, soaking into the cement, it was going to leave a rusty blemish on the clean grey slate. You’d never see the stain however, so you decided to not care about that.

Your feet carried you further away from the house, you were remembering where you would spend summers. Back when the shadows were a little lighter, held more substance instead of distance. You stopped automatically as you felt the shadow envelope you, in the best way possible. You looked up at what seemed to be a dark hole in the sky.

The upside-down building, an old abandoned laser tag course from way back in the day. It was built to look abandoned and broken, like a busted up building, turned literally upside down. Even the furniture hung from the ceiling, chandeliers protruded from the floor like built in tables. You entered it from the hole in the ‘roof’, you treaded carefully, feeling the ground crumble against your light weight. As you hooked your small hands onto a ladder that lead to the second floor. Only up to the seventh floor was stable still, from the perspective against the thirteenth ‘ground’ floor. Time and the elements wearing down the building and making it less safe. Not that your cared.

You reached out and grabbed the edge of the gaping hole, shivering quietly in the cool April night air. You hauled yourself up into the second floor and eventually wondered further in, holding out your hands to find the end of the hall. You stumbled a bit, tripping over things occasionally. Your leg was still bleeding, it didn’t help when you slammed into an exposed wall support, the metal bars that held the instillation.

You hissed as it you felt more of the warm liquid drip down, adding more red spots to your leg and your shoes. Your shorts were slightly above the new cut. You felt around it, wincing as you pressed down on a tender area.

You brush it off and ignore the stinging as you try to walk it off. “Hehe, it’s more of a limp really, the cut isn’t the worst part really.” You wipe your forehead with your wrist, not realizing that you had smeared more blood and dirt on your skin as you continue on in your flight to the seventh floor.

You finally hit the end of the hall where you turn on your heel and enter the furthermost right area, the staircase that led to the rest of the floors. You scaled it quickly and easily enough. Until you hit your desired floor and you steer your body into an old ‘hotel room’, the walls were rubble and some pieces of furniture were conveniently overturned to create obstacles for the players of the past as you walked on the ‘ceiling’.

You couldn’t believe how odd it was to hear furniture above you, it was something you didn’t think you’d ever get used to. It made you feel like you were disobeying psychics and gravity. You smirked, remembering that foul teachers rant on gravity, how nothing and no one could break its laws. You mentally told the teacher to shove it, you could be as anti-gravitational as you damn well pleased.

You leaned your head back onto the axis of your neck and shoulders as you flopped against the wall and slid down it. Your legs splayed out in front of you as you let the wall hold all of your weight. Exhaustion weighing down your limbs like bricks as you curled into the wall as the breeze from the outside blew in, chilling you to the bone and weaving itself through your hair as you closed your eyes.

It was so hard, you couldn’t handle this much longer. You had the will to get up though, make it through another night. Just one more time, one more time, one more night, one more battle to fight, one more day to survive. Endure and survive. You brought your head up shakily, feeling yourself nodding off as you tried to keep yourself awake for as long as possible.

You feel tears burn in the back of your eyes, “Useless,” You curse at them, if you could just see something you could live a normal life. People would like you for you, parents wouldn’t sneer or glare at you for ‘wasting funding that could go to their kids’. Or even worse was when the adults would pity you, make you feel so inferior, as if you couldn’t do anything without help, as if you were defenseless. That was a lie, you took care of yourself for god’s sake, you did everything without anyone’s help. If anything you were more capable than them!

You puffed out your chest a bit as anger flared, you weren’t hopeless, or scrawny, you were strong in your own way! You slumped back as the anger fading, the bad thoughts making you realize how stupid you were being, you were small, but you tried to have big dreams. You scolded yourself, you should’ve just had smaller ones, ones that would fit your tiny self. Dreams that you could accomplish, striving for them, and chasing them for as far as you could see. Which was not far at all.

The anger inside you drained fully as you contemplated your thoughts more thoroughly, you sighed. You just really were too passive, your sin was not wrath. You had no idea what your deadly sin was, but revenge wasn’t it, it didn’t sound right. You couldn’t even bring yourself to fight back against the rules, the only thing you ever did was just sharpening and honing your quick tongue.

You smirked, if words and bad jokes could kill. Well, you would’ve been a serial killer starting a long time ago. with just a snap and a quick rendition of knock knock jokes, and you could knock ‘em dead. 

You stifle a few giggles with your hand, god you were horrible. Laughing at your own stupid jokes. Play Unto Nouns? Ever heard of them? You giggled again louder, having a harder time keeping your laughter in. It felt like you had been saying bad jokes and puns to try and make everyone smile for years.

You finally calmed down after your erupting laughter, you panted as your sides ached against your ribcage. Before your good mood vanished just as quickly as it had come and anxiety swallowed you whole once more. You stared to hyperventilate as you realized your mother would be beyond pissed when she got home.

Your house was broken into, your mother would be angry, school was getting harder, and no one liked you. The guilt, confusion, and depression made your chest tighten, like a coil as you struggled to breathe in. You gasped as you realized you were having a panic attack.

You tried to close your eyes and focus on breathing, but the pitch darkness made it worse as you felt dizzy and ill. You swore the world was tipping as you fell forward your hands splaying against the ground as you tried to get air back into your lungs.

It failed terribly as the dark began to spin even faster, like the teacups on that ride at the fair you could dimly remember. You collapsed fully against the ground as you struggled to stay awake and calm down, and desperately clawing at consciousness in your mind as your demons tried to convince you that you were dying. That you were better off dead anyway. Your eyes shot open, still seeing nothing, so you didn’t really notice as your eyes soon rolled back into your head.

You fell limp on the ground as you heard one last thing.

‘You’ll make it out okay’

You were filled with a sense of helplessness as you felt no desire to get up.


	6. Differential Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You comfort the kind teacher

You walked out of school blankly, ever since Friday you avoided your house and any sound or movement made you jump, you felt so paranoid. Nothing was in your control anymore, though now it was after school on a Monday and you dreaded to go back home.

You walked around the school, purposefully trying to make the time go slower. You followed the wall of the school carefully, not daring to step away from it. You hated how every step you took made your bruises ache and your cut scream at you.

The upside-down building wasn’t really too safe a place anymore.

You heard quiet sobs, so you walked closer, it was feminine. You snuck closer, unsure of who it was until you smelled the scent of pastry and spice. You crept closer, before you wrapped your arms around her shoulders as she gasped.

You held onto her and hid your face as you felt her, and yourself, calm down and relax. “Child, what are you doing here?” You curl closer as you feel her turn around and hug you properly in greeting. You rest your head on her soft shoulder as you reply

“I heard you, when I was walking by.” You frown slightly when she lets go, but brighten up as she hiccups a laugh.

“You are one child, I wish other people were like you.” You hear her trail off. You were curious and wanted to help so you prodded. Not many people wanted a blind girl, so you wanted to know yourself.

“Why?” You heard her sigh and counter with another question.

“Why are you not afraid, or dislike me? I’m a monster you know, most humans tend to like us.” You think for a moment.

“What is the difference between a monster and a human?” You feel her look at you in confusion.

“Well, some magic, but mostly appearances and physical attributes. Why?” You frown deeper, she didn’t get it did she? Maybe an example would help.

“So, why does that matter? If a boy is taller than me does that make him automatically terrifying and worthy of hatred?”

“Well, no, but he would be human.” You feel frustration and decide to try another tactic, she must realize that humans had more monstrous habits than she thought.

“Have you ever hurt someone’s feelings?” You heard her gasp.

“Why never-”

You interrupt her, “Have you ever forced someone to go hungry, or make their life difficult out of spite?” You get a hard look in your eyes as you continue on. “Have you ever made someone hate or fear their life? Ever make them hyperventilate every time they take a step?”

“No…” You simmer down.

“Then you are not a monster by definition, you are you. Diverse, in the best way.” You smile. “You have done nothing wrong, you are just yourself. Unlike anyone else, that tends to scare people.” You sigh, “I scare people.”

You hear her shift to hold you. “Aren’t… you afraid of how I look? Those parents are always so cruel.”

You grin up at her, your hazy (E/C) eyes clear to her sight. “All you people look the same to me.” You felt her recoil a bit.

“What do you mean child?”

“I’m blind.” You grin wider, “You wouldn’t believe the hate I get, don’t let them get you down. They are afraid of difference, of something new. They don’t understand it, they stereotype it. Put it in a box to ignore.”

You hold her hand, feeling where it was before. “You are you. They are a cookie cutter. Boring.”

You sense her staring frozen as she takes in the words. You feel her brush over your eyes with her hands. You close them and let her look. You open them again, seeing her shadow shaking and smelling salt.

“I-I didn’t k-k-know, h-how can I complain to y-you?” You turn on her lap, wrapping your small arms against her again as she holds you tighter with no hesitation.

“Because if you hold it in you’ll explode. I’m used to it, I was born this way you see?” You grin widely staring at her with a mischievous eyes. You hear her suddenly laugh loudly, as you join in giggling a higher pitch than hers.

You felt her cuddle into you as you grinned, your cheek smushed against her own. “You are right, I will not give up. I’ve wanted to be a teacher for so long. Now I am. I won’t stop here!”

You got up with her, still holding her hand as you looked up to where you though her head was. She patted your hair, smoothing it out ever so gently before departing. “Goodbye, different child.”

You traced where her hands had covered your eyes. She was so warm, affectionate. You envied whoever her real child was, you hoped they knew how lucky they were to how such a person as their mother.

You remembered the punishment that you would face when you went back. You shivered, all the negative feelings that had left had come back and were now curled in your gut and weighed down your chest. Making your limbs heavy as you dragged them along.

Walking deadly to your house you didn’t even notice when you barely missed a car, most likely a drunk driver, seeing as they hadn’t even slowed when you jolted forward to put space between you and the fast moving object.

You looked to where you heard the tires screeching down the road. Some people were such idiots, they were going to kill someone one day. You hoped they learned before that happened, but you doubted it as you approached your door.

You swung it open, some people never learn. The strong smell of alcohol and smoke accosted your nose as you walked in. Already preparing yourself for what you’d experience, the words and hurt.

Some people just never changed did they?

You were filled with agony as your moment of inspiration and happiness fleeted away.


	7. Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are filled with Strength

You walked up to the school building, biting your lip as you walked past the scrutinizing gaze of parents and some teachers, their kids ignored you even as their parents gossiped about you.

They did that a lot, didn’t they? They knew, they whispered it when they thought you couldn’t hear them. They always talked about it, why did they never help? Why would they assume you were the same that you could deal with it, or get help yourself?

Didn’t they realize how hard it was?

It was a challenge to get up every morning, to get through school, to try to not let all the glares and whispers from all sides crush you. Didn’t they realize that one day you would be gone? Would they be the cliché, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! Or would they pretend to be close to you and cry to get publicity?

Joke’s on them, no one like you were ever recognized. Barely noticed by the police, only burdening the scientist at the morgue who had to make sure that was how you died. It was awful.

Still, you closed your ears to them and held your head high and walked into the building. Your dress had changed color to a colder one, it felt like what you imagined a dark blue. It felt plain, short. It most definitely displayed your newly acquired cuts and bruises.

You couldn’t tell though, you couldn’t exactly look in the mirror. You wouldn’t tell the difference anyway. You felt like you were going to fall over anyway. You refused to show it as you didn’t even reveal a hint of a limp as you walked to your class room.

Your clouded eyes gave a glint as you sat down, you would make it. You could do it.

‘You’ll make it out okay’

You believed it as you sat straighter as the rest of the class filed in with their own clumps of friends. Cliques. You felt them glance at you and turn away, you just grinned. They were just jealous, they could ignore you all they wanted.

You didn’t know how much longer you could lie to yourself however.

~<3~

You sighed as you made your way to your seat in science and slumped down into it. You were dead tired, as you laid your head on the cold table top. You roused yourself as you sense a shaking presence sitting next to your own.

You peeked up, seeing a shadow, you squinted, before realizing it was pointless and sitting up straight. You felt their confusion before they seemed to get it and grabbed your hand, you froze before smiling, it was the new kid.

Your smile fell, “Wait, what are you doing? You could get in trouble!” You felt their puzzlement, before you heard a scratching of pencil and paper. They handed it to you and put your hand on it.

You frowned, disappointed. “I-I’m sorry, I can’t read normal writing, only braille.” You felt them pause, before grabbing your book. You listened to them curiously as they flipped the pages and you heard more writing, what were they doing?

A paper was pushed into your hands, and you felt it again. Grinning widely as you realized they had gone to your alphabet chart and wrote braille. Very heavily so you could feel the indents.

‘The principal said that it would be good if I could sit next to someone I got along with since I seem to being having a ‘hard time’ as a mute’

You could feel their sly smirk, you whisper to them. “You’re devious,” You grin wider. “Freakin’ awesome.” You feel them grin back and adjust into their seat as the teacher walks to the front of the class.

You smirk as she shoots you two a dirty look, not liking Frisk anymore since they were shown to not only disobey them with permission, but also have a ‘disability’. You could tell that the teacher thought they were lying. You didn’t care. If they didn’t want to speak, they didn’t have to.

Silence was nice either way.

You smiled at Frisk as the bell rang, you got up along with them packing your bag and making a move to leave before they grabbed your wrist. You raised an eyebrow, until you felt the air shift as they gestured at your legs. Your open gashes, and bruises, they burned slightly, gaining an infection.

You shrugged, there was no story to tell. Frisk shook his head as they grabbed your hand and dragged you along toward…somewhere.

You almost smacked into the glass again until Frisk maneuvered you away as you followed him blindly. It was the school’s office. You and Frisk waved and smiled brightly as you heard the principal’s footsteps.

“Hello Frisk, you too (Y/N) I can see you there.” You stifle a laugh as you feel her wink at you.

“I’m quite the looker aren’t I? Hard to miss obviously.” You sense Frisk look at you in shock as Miss Bryant just laughed.

“Yes, yes, now run along you two.” Frisk pulled you away toward the teacher’s lounge, whilst chuckling soundlessly under their breath. You could feeling their shoulder’s shaking.

You held on as you felt them stop, you stumbled a bit until Frisk caught you and held you up with their body. You felt them pull away and move their hands quickly and motion to you. It seemed like they were talking with someone.

You heard a dress, or maybe robes. They seemed heavy as they dragged a bit, shuffling against the ground. You waited patiently as the figure walked up into ‘sight’

“Oh, hello child, it seems you know Frisk?” You look around until your eyes land on a bright shadow and you gasp smelling cinnamon and sweet rolls. You knew that voice, you knew her. It was the kind woman.

The caring acts of others filled you with courage to stay strong.


	8. Dismay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are filled with dismay.

You smiled as you gave her a thumbs up. Agreeing with her previous statement.

“Yup,” You cut it off there, not knowing a good pun to say. You were disappointed, but didn’t show it as you felt Frisk grab your hand again.

“Well, children, come along. I must say you do get hurt often don’t you?” You nod, and smile sheepishly.

“Ya know, it sometimes feels like things move on purpose. Like ‘hey, hey, you see that girl over there? Her shins look like a target aye?’” You grin as Frisk snorts, your eyes widen in surprise as you’re lifted onto a table.

You relax as you realize it was just the woman trying to look at your injuries. You feel Frisk jump up next to you as you sway a bit. Humming a tune, you felt them nudge you. You smiled a bit, they wanted to hear it.

You stuck your tongue at them and refused playfully. “Not today friend!” You give them a lop-sided grin as you feel Toriel return and grasp your leg, you feel her pause as she pulls up your dress a bit. Seeing the worst one.

“Child, what happened?” You feel her take out a cloth and clean the cuts, three gashes side by side. Deeper than the rest, but not bad.

You shrug, and smile sheepishly once again. “I think the stairs moved a foot forward, I could’ve sworn they were five steps away.” You hear her shake her head and sigh.

“Your strides will get bigger as you grow,” You feel her smile at you as you mask your cracking heart with a painted smile. How you hated lying, half-truths were even worse than not saying a thing.

You feel the air get heavier as the silence turns uncomfortable as you feel a pair of eyes bore into you. It takes all you have not to squirm as it makes it harder to breath. The woman finishes up and bandages your legs.

You hop down, landing shakily before recovering and grinning at her. You look to Frisk as they land beside you again, you dragged your fingertips against your watch and gasp. You were so late, you apologized and ran off. The two looked after you, concerned by your sudden actions.

They didn’t go after you though, Frisk wished they did. They had something to do though, first. Frisk to toward their mother and signed, he wanted to go home to get started.

You continued to run, stumbling which hurt, as you tried to get back to your house as quick as possible. You trip and fall to your knees before getting right back up and sprinting again. Knowing the route by hurt you don’t even think as your feet hit the pavement, moving on their own.

You managed to hit the step and fall forward, going through the door and catching yourself on the handle and faltering as you close the door. You stop and listen, no one was home. Your breaths though very quiet, you could hear their echo.

Everything echoed, most just couldn’t tell, they needed to pay attention more.

You let go of your will to hide it, you were alone anyway as you limp down the hall. Shivering as you passed the door, cold dark wood, nothing colder.

You made your strides longer to pass the room quicker, feeling your blood freeze just being near it. No more.

You finally make it to the end of the dark hall, dodging the shadows you enter your room, still not feeling safe at all. You do feel a bit more comfortable than before though as you sit on the floor, pulling out your homework.

Math, not too bad, you smile as your feel the note at the top. ‘Keep on going (Y/N)!’ You run your thumb over the page, it felt pink or maybe purple. You couldn’t tell as you pulled out your pencil, circling the answers. All multiple choice, it made it easier than typing braille constantly, especially since you didn’t even have a machine to do so.

You finish the homework rather quickly, you did suppose that you were only in fourth grade. You smiled as you laid back, locking your door quickly as you laid on the floor.

You closed your eyes and let yourself be taken away.

~<3~

It was so bright, you smiled as you saw colors everywhere, in the clouds, the sky. You couldn’t name them all, yet you could. No one taught you the concept of color was foreign, yet somehow you knew.

You giggled as you brushed the surface of the water with your fingertips, disturbing the image of you tanner skin and (H/C) hair. You looked into your reflections bright and shimmering (E/C). You knew that they were really hazy in reality, but you wondered if this was how you really looked. Your subconscious knowing it by heart.

You dusted off your dress, this one was covered in many different colors, so many bright and cheerful shades. Not only of black and grey like your own world. You grinned as you were surrounded in light and warmth.

It truly was a miracle, dreams. They may not come true, but they definitely felt nice while they were here. You skipped and spun, enjoying the freedom, not only from yourself and the anxiety, but from the adults.

You looked around, you were alone. You thought about Frisk, if this were true you would miss them, but you would meet again.

You froze as you saw darkness again. Crowding away the sun and vivid colors as they crept closer. You curled, and backed away from in, before giving in to the unavoidable fate.

~3

You fluttered your eyes open, seeing pitch black with small bouts of grey splashed in. You held your hand out, growing disheartened as you didn’t even see a shadow of your arm among the ominous black shroud.

Your eyes grew hot and stung as you frowned, missing the colors and clarity. You hated when you woke up. The dark always swallowed you up all over again.

Maybe it was worse to believe in a dream, you thought.

You are filled with dismay as the inevitable lingers above you in dark shadows.


	9. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You teach Frisk about little minor 'cuss' words, You also almost get a fight pinned on you
> 
> Eventful day.

You groan as you feel the smooth material of your dress wish against your skin and bandages. Making an imperceptible scratching sound, you could hear it as you stood there puzzled, you could never hear that well before.

You shook it off, it didn’t matter right now. You adjusted your bag, dully noting the odd sound of your nails scraping against the rough leather material of your messenger bag. You shook it off once again, even though it made you feel odd.

You grabbed a jacket as you neared the front door, the air was heavy and felt tense, it was going to rain. You passed your mother who was asleep on the couch as you opened the front door and walked through it. You pulled your jacket on as you felt the drizzle hit your face.

You looked around, not liking how dark it was, just the clouds, you reassured yourself. You treaded on the wet sidewalk, feeling the puddled through the wore soles on your, newly dubbed, boots. The thick rubber soles were thin with use and cracked.

You would need to ask James for a new pair soon, he always had extras anyway. At least that’s what he said. You grinned as you realized it was Tuesday, you could meet up with them on Fridays and Wednesdays. Only another day left.

You walked into your reading class ready for the book to start as you smiled brightly, today might not be so bad. You grab your copy of the book as you hear the other students quiet as your homeroom teacher speaks the first word.

~( )~

‘I know who you are, you remember who I am,  
We knew once in a lifetime we had grown to be good friends,’

You wondered where the lyrics came from, they seemed so familiar as you hummed them. Maybe you had found it on YouTube or something? You didn’t know as you shrugged, liking the melody anyway.

Your smile faded as the bell rang, but you simply got up and continued to hum as you made your way to your last class, science with Ms. Cleary. You frowned and gave an annoyed glare to your science book as you brought it out, walking into her class room.

The chemical smell from the previous fifth grade class stung your nose, you were glad that you weren’t doing their lab, your eyes would burn out of your head. You took a seat and continued humming, changing the song again.

‘I just want to be noticed, I only crave your gaze  
But when you look away from my display,  
It sends me in a craze!’

You feel someone occupy the spot beside you and you smile wider, still humming sensing them listening. You hoped they liked it as much as you did. You stopped when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You grabbed the page and felt over the rough scratches. ‘What song’s that?’ You smirk, and whisper your reply.

“Noticed, when did you become so skill at braille? You feel some heat radiate from them, confusing you slightly.

‘I practiced.’

You grin at them, “Cool,” You look around the room, picking up little to no movement. “Where is everyone?” You feel them shrug, you shake it off. If it were important then the teacher would page the office of your absence.

Wait, this was Ms. Cleary. She wouldn’t.

You sighed in relief as some of the other students spread out into their desks. You listened, trying to figure out what happened. There were too many voices to tell them apart. You jolted back as you felt a finger being pointed in your face.

“Where were you during this incident?” Your eyebrows raise as you answer her, what the actual…heck happened.

“Um, here. What happened?” You heard her mutter as you felt her glare on you. You feel someone pull you back and you frown and look around instinctually trying to get a better hearing vantage.

You could feel hand movement in front of you as Frisk blocked you from the teacher, you heard the teacher walk away as you sat there confused. What happened? You felt a piece of paper being pushed into your hands.

‘There was a fight, because of your bandages she was going to pin it on you.’

You roll your eyes, “Bit-bully.” You feel Frisk shake a little beside you, you smirk slightly realizing he caught on. “Why do I say firetruck?” You felt their gaze on you.

“Because it starts with F and ends in uck.”

You feel them shake harder as you turn to your book. Smiling triumphantly, you were waiting to tell that one for a while now. You grinned as you flipped to the page announced, taking notes on your own since the class was moving slowly.

You and Frisk worked together on them as you silently argued on references, and points. Chuckling noiseless when you managed to find jokes in the phrases, though Frisk found them faster than your fingers.

The only time you were able to make fun of your disability without being taken literally, it was nice. Having a friend in your school, one you could talk to everyday. You loved James and the others, but it was hard when you couldn’t get to them.

You gave a half smile as you thought of them, as well as the nice woman and Frisk. You truly had good friends didn’t you?

You were filled with a feeling of warmth as you felt surrounded by your friends.


	10. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill dear readers...
> 
> Read on!

You stared blankly at the paper in front of you, even when Frisk tried to pry you away you couldn’t. You gently flitted your fingertips against the surface of the paper. Blue, maybe, but there wasn’t anything there.

This was your study guide for the science test, the one that would determine your grade for the quarter. How could, why. You felt indentations on the top, but it was in letters. You couldn’t read them, they just felt like lines on a page.

You sighed shakily as the bell rang and got up straight away, walking toward the door before you stopped. You waited until everyone, but Frisk had left before giving the teacher a death glare and sticking your middle finger while she snickered.

She gasped as you then walked away, keeping your head down as you sped past everyone, using the back hallways to get away from the crowds and the chance of tripping.

You always trip up don’t you? You felt tears welling up and streaming down as you kept at a quick pace, clutching the science paper in your fist as you walked to your spot underneath the tree.

You walked up the grass, the blades tickling your shins as your boots treaded softly past them, barely disturbing the dirt as you pull yourself out to the bench and finally curse. You curse the teacher, the subject, yourself.

You let anger keep the anxiety and fear of failure as you finally sit still on your bench and curl onto your knees. The paper hanging limply from your fingertips, barely staying in your hands.

You felt a hand go over your own as you refused to look up. You were so tired that you let them take to paper and sit beside you. You heard their breathing, automatically recognizing the shallow intakes as Frisk’s.

You gave up, feeling so frustrated and tired, just completely done. You felt them stiffen, whatever the teacher had written on the top must have gotten them really worked up. You jerked back as you felt them wipe your cheeks with their hand.

They grabbed you hand and tugged you down the walkway. You moved your strides with them as you followed them along. You felt them tighten their grip and pull you along, swaying you every now and again to dodge other students.

You smiled softly as they led you toward somewhere. You let them take you with them as you walked down the cement path, though Frisk had a tense silence around them. It was obvious something about what happened in science bothered them?

Was it you?

No, they wouldn’t be holding your hand so close, or trying to guide you safely. You felt yourself lagging a bit behind as your legs were beginning to shake from the effort. It seemed Frisk noticed too as they slowed down a bit.

You bumped into their back as they steadied you again. You looked around, was it still cloudy? You shook off the thought, you almost tripped on a porch step until you felt odd, like you were floating.

*Whoa kid, no need to go on a trip.” You felt the air move as you were placed on the top of the steps. You looked around for a bit, until Frisk nudged you in the right direction.

You grinned and held out your left hand, already hearing the static of a buzzer in his right hand. “I’m (Y/N),” You felt him shake your hand hesitantly, you grin wider. “Don’t be shocked.”

You heard a chuckle, “That was good, I was a little rattled.” You smirk, as Frisk is staring at you two.

“I see what you did there,” You heard loud laughter and Frisk was shaking really hard as you gave a smug grin.

*Sans,” You feel Frisk grab your hand again. *C’mon in, Toriel actually beat you home, and Papyrus is with Mettaton and Undye.” You felt them nod, they pulled you inside. They tugged you to a chair and took your paper, they took your bag and walked away.

You wondered what Frisk was doing. Who was Toriel? You obeyed the silent question and stayed put. *Hey kid? You’re pretty humerous.” You smirk it was on.

“Really? You’ve only had a glance at what I can come up with.”

*Tibia honest, I think I got you beat.”

“I believe yours are lacking some muscle.”

*Can you stomach my best ones?”

“Try your best, the future looks puntastic.” You grin wider, “Or maybe grin.”

Just then Frisk walked back in followed by another presence, “Hello child, welcome to our home!” You paused, where did you know the voice? Oh, it was the nice lady!

“Nice to see you again!” You heard a stifled laugh, it was an overused one, but that was okay. You smiled ‘innocently’ as the woman laughed. You guessed it her name was Toriel since there wasn’t any other sounds in the house. Was she Frisk’s mom?

You smiled at that, at least she did have a kid who appreciated her. It was good to know. You felt your paper being placed back in your hands, you smoothed it a bit. Frisk must have been pretty agitated to hold it so tightly they wrinkled it.

What did it say?

You heard books being taken out and another paper being put in your hands. You quickly felt over it, ‘Let’s do the sheet together!’

You smile and sit beside them and pulled out your own book, Sans peeked a bit. *Science huh?” You and Frisk nodded, *What’s with the paper?”

You handed him your study guide, you didn’t even know if it was in dots or not. It wasn’t braille that was for sure. You felt him stiffen and the air grow tense. “Is something wrong?” You break the silence as the air eases.

*Nah, just remembering this unit, periodic table right?” Frisk nods. *Like some help?” You feel the air around them move, they were probably signing. You were really confused as you heard quiet whistling.

‘Oh, it’s Sans, he’s signing and the sir is going against his finger bones.’ You wonder if that feels weird, or how you can even hear it anyway. You shrug it off. You’d figure it out later.

A good portion of the night was spent with Sans helping you too on the worksheet, though it was mostly Sans and Frisk telling you what the problem said. You already knew the answers.

You were filled with confusion as you thought of how cruel or how nice people could be.


	11. Safe

You sat beside Frisk, who was teaching you letters, or how they felt. You had asked them what written English was like and they offered to show you. Funny shapes to represent sounds. Braille was systematic, letters were more memory.

You figured other people grew up with different things, so they would be easier to figure out than others. You traced another C, how weird, it was like a half zero. So goofy.

You listened to Frisk until they told you they had to do something real quick. You nodded and waited for them to return, after a few moments you felt bad. You were eavesdropping, on the two in the kitchen Toriel and Sans.

What they said surprised you though.

“What?! How awful, how could a teacher write something like that?”

You heard Sans voice reply to the distressed woman. “Guess the teacher thought that it would be fine since the kid can’t read it.” You felt the dangerous aura fill the air again, almost like a fire. “Calling a kid a freak for something they don’t have control over? She’s as bad as Linda.” You heard him muttering again.

“I was wondering why Linda was focusing so much on disabilities rather than being racist, I thought she was directing it at Frisk for being mute.”

You heard Toriel speak again, “What can we do? I can’t join the PTA, and you can only do so much…” You heard movement. “Why isn’t (Y/N)’s mother doing anything about it?” You heard her hushed tone, probably paranoid about you hearing.

You didn’t mind though, they had all good intentions. You'd be wondering the same thing in their position.

“It’s alright Tori, I’ll figure somethin’ out. Forget about it.” You decided to stop listening.

Whatever Ms. Cleary said clearly had jerked a few strings. You heard Sans and Toriel enter the room. “Hello again child, where is Frisk?” You pointed in the direction they went.

You leaned back a bit before blurting out, “I know Ms. Cleary did that on purpose, it wouldn’t be the first time. I flipped her off.” You felt Toriel and Sans’ shock and you remained blank, your eyes unfocused.

“I can deal with her crap, but she was starting to be rude to Frisk too. I did what I thought would tell her my thoughts.” You heard Toriel chuckling guiltily, Sans was forward though.

*Nice, did you use both fingers?” You shrug and gave a sly grin, giving a silent, yet anonymous confirmation.

“You, are quite the child, you realize that?” You shrugged again, smirking at Toriel. You could tell she was amused, you always could figure out how to make someone smile.

“Grew up with older friends, you learn stuff.” You shiver a bit, “Some things you wish ya didn’t though.” You hear shuddering and the shuffling of feet from the hall. “Sneaky Frisk, little eavesdropper!”

You felt Sans and Toriel’s confusion until Frisk stepped out into view. Toriel shrugged it off, thinking that your hearing was probably good to make up for what you were missing. Sans however was curious, your hearing was better than other people he’d met like you.

Toriel soon left, saying that she was going to be picking up Pap from Undye’s house. You nodded as she left and you and Frisk got back to work. “So kid, what do you see?” You sit up and pause, tilting your head, looking around a bit.

“Shadows, some grey, some black as night. It depends, they’ve been getting darker though. Nothing I can do however.” You shrug it off, even though it was terrifying to you to be in complete darkness forever. “What I know is what I hear.”

You hear Frisk signing, they were curious too. “Frisk asks what exactly do you know about us?” You hum, thinking for a moment.

“There are two bathrooms, and a sealed basement, I hear pipes banging down there. There are four people living here? Two of them feel alike, the other is sweet, and the last feels powerful. It’s a little difficult to tell who is who.”

You move to sit on your knees, “There is an attic, also sealed. The wind is making the floor boards creak. The stove is on, I can smell the burning.” You turn your heard a bit, “There’s…I think the tiles in the upstairs bathroom are peeling, it sounds like scraping.”

You feel them looking at you. “That’s a little of what I know, the rest, is really difficult to describe.”

*Woah kid, spot on.” You feel Frisk waving their hands. *Frisk is saying your awesome, multiple times.” You blush a bit and laugh, before going back to studying the letter alphabet with Frisk as Sans walks away.

Something was up, you had said it yourself. Your vision was probably fading, that was also affecting your other senses. He looked around, seeing the stove was indeed, still on. He turned it off. No normal girl with vision problems could hear that well, hearing the tiles peel off the floor. Upstairs.

The attic? The basement? He had just found those, maybe yesterday. Yet you knew about them on your first day. Nah, somethin’ made you more aware of small changes in the environment. Sans shook it off though, he’d figure it out eventually.

He watched you two interact from the kitchen doorway, watched as you and Frisk giggled. Seeing how odd your body language and movements were. They weren’t compatible with your attitude, your eyes.

He sighed, resorting to just checking on your two to make sure everything was fine. Something was wrong, but he wasn’t sure yet. He tried to piece it together, ‘(Y/N), what is it that you aren’t telling anyone?’

You sneezed and erupted in laughter as Frisk sneezed too, knocking into you. You stuck your tongue out at them, before tracing the letters again. Resolute to learn them, Frisk had learned braille for you, it was your turn now.

You were filled with a safe feeling of being watched over as you sat with a friend.


	12. Longing

You sighed sadly as you realized it was time to go home. You told Frisk you had to leave and they walked you home, you stiffened slightly when you heard music being played loudly. You relaxed as you realized Frisk didn’t hear it.

‘Good,’ you thought bitterly ‘keep them out of this.’ You smiled at them before waving them good-bye. Waiting to go inside until Frisk’s foot falls disappeared, maybe three blocks down. The street was empty enough to hear that far.

You walked in, walking noiselessly past your mother’s room. You finally made it to your room and pulled out your finished science review. You gently traced the printed letters, you were thankful that they weren’t cursive.

‘I-H-O-P-E-Y-O-U-F-A-I-L-Y-O-U-F-R-E-A-K’ you regard it coolly, you always knew she felt like that, you smirked. It was just your luck that you were decent at academics.

“Bad luck Ms. Cleary, I’m smarter than you this time.” You snickered, you were so rude, too bad you didn’t mind that. It was easier to piss everyone off than it was to please everyone. Besides,

You giggled sinisterly, it was so much more fun too.

You put the paper in your bag and splay out on your small bed. Smirking at the ceiling, though it was getting late, so it was the darkest color of the room.

You didn’t care anymore anyway, it could get you. You had people who cared, you could face anything. You got up and locked the door quickly before getting changed out of your dress into a sweatshirt and pants.

They had a cartoon character on them, you couldn’t tell who. It was just a rubbery plastic that stuck to your skin in a strange, but comfortable, way. You sighed as you heard banging downstairs as well as the clinking of glass, barely noticing the shameful whispers.

Well, trying not to notice them. You heard every disturbing word.

Why did James and the rest have to tell you what they meant? You chuckled a bit, realizing that you would’ve figured it out anyway. Eventually.

You curled under the sheets and closed your eyes ignoring the sounds of giggling and other noises as you blocked them out and fell asleep.

~<3~

You gave a smug smirk as you handed in your test, it was a scantron, in braille. So the teacher couldn’t pull the review crap, and she couldn’t mark you wrong for no reason. A computer would correct it because of the barcodes.

You heard her grumble under her breath, you heard an eraser as you smirked again. Twirling your pen in your fingers, just in her sight as she cursed. Realizing that it was useless, you high-fived Frisk, who also used pen just in case.

They told you they came up with the idea from Sans, you gave a soft smile at that. Sans was pretty clever, you hadn’t even thought of that as a possibility until just now when you heard that eraser.

The bell rang and you heard a few groans as you walked out of class with Frisk, they handed you a note. ‘Can you hang out today?’ You smile an shake your head.

“Sorry, got plans with some friends. Maybe tomorrow?” You sensed Frisk nodding before they waved good-bye. You hummed again as you felt the pavement with your shoes, walking to the studio.

You hummed thinking of the lyrics as you went.

‘I’m not the bad guy, I’m just a bit surprising,  
It’s not worth losing sleep, it’s not worth analyzing.  
There was a time not so long ago at all,  
I was just like you~ Can you hear my call~’

You grinned, you loved how you could remember things so well. Especially lyrics. It seems like there was a song with lyrics for everything. Everything, even burritos.

You snickered a bit, pulling out your MP3 as you took out your phone. You snuck to where you remembered they had the Legend of Zelda playing. You pressed the play button, putting it on full volume.

“HEY LISTEN!!!” You heard tumbling, a few groans and screams until you burst out laughing. You felt an arm around your jaw, ‘choking’ you as you felt an elbow giving you messy hair.

“Little brat! When did you get here?” You simply grinned, as you felt his grip loosen up and hook around your shoulders. “C’mon, let’s go play some games.” A few of your other friends joined you, cheering you on as you played two person Punch-Out with James.

“Go (Y/N)! Kick. His. Ass!” You hear squealing from beside Queen.

“Innocence!” You chuckle, feeling like siding with Queen rather than Nadia this time.

“He shall be damned to hell!” You shout, while listening to sound cues and knocking him out for a second time in the first round.

You hear her gasp, and Lilith yells, “Hell yeah! T-K-O! He is your bitch right now!” You give a smug half-smile. Turning back to the screen, feeling its glowing screen on your face as you concentrated.

Your grin widened as you got a star punch miraculously and waited, you heard him trying to jab you. “Sorry buddy boy, not. To-day~” You heard your character about to be hit when you unleashed it. Hearing the dinging of a match end.

“T-K-O!!!” You heard James and his best friends Johnathon groan as the girls shrieked and shouted in joy. Shaking your shoulders as you laughed, being mindful of your bandages as you were lifted onto Queen’s shoulders like a champion as you threw your hands up in victory.

She held your legs still to keep you on as you celebrated your victory. Taunting James as her ruffled your hair, complimenting his ‘apprentice’. You had a wide smile on your lips the rest of the time before you returned home.

You hated the feeling of dread and paranoia replace the happiness your family’s pride in you had placed.

You smiled slightly, family, that’s what they were. They took care of you, like a little sister. You look at the small square in your hand, they had given you a phone, ‘just in case’. They really were so good to you.

You were filled with a sense of longing as you entered the dark empty house.


	13. Pure Happiness

You shivered slightly, it was cloudy and dark, even darker than before when it was raining. You wrapped your arms against yourself, you couldn’t find your jacket. You smoothed down your jeans.

You felt some rips, they seemed to be in good condition though. You pulled on your tank-top, it felt green? Like a light green, maybe it was blue though. You shrugged, grabbing your backpack and walk-in out of the house.

She wasn’t home so stealth wasn’t a mandatory prospect.

You took your time, smiling as you did. Twirling your keys around your finger as you walked down the street, breathing in the fresh air. You walked with slow steps, your new shoes hitting the pavement.

They were light converses, perfect for the weather. Nearing summer your spirits were up, you wondered if Frisk had a phone. You wanted to keep in contact with them over the summer.

You hummed and drummed with the pads of your feet as you walked the street, clicking your heels against the concrete, making sure you don’t stray from your chosen path. ‘You could stray, pick the beaten path. No shame in wanting something new.’

You shake your head, you couldn’t just walk away. You needed to stay to what you’ve chosen. Like every decision ever made.

‘Or you could kill them all, get revenge. They don’t deserve your mercy, we could do it together!’ You felt a hand on your own and an arm wrap over your shoulder, holding you by your upper torso. ‘Imagine what we could do!’ You felt them smile. ‘What you could do.’

You shake your head once more, brushing them off and walking away. “I don’t need to do anything, I just need to survive this life. Then I’ll move to the next. Good day,” You take a step before turning your head to them.

“DeAd GiRL.” You feel their shock as you continue on your way as if nothing happened.

You get your mood back up from its darkened state as you enter the schoolyard. Feeling joyful for an odd reason, school wasn’t seeming so bad lately. Having a friend wasn’t hurting it either.

You smiled as you heard familiar panting and footsteps as they ran over to you. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. You grinned, sticking your tongue at them.

“Nice try, can’t sneak up on a blind girl,” You smirked, “It helps that I’m just a bad~ass!” You cheered a bit, you felt Frisk’s shoulder’s shake a bit as they linked arms with you. Dragging you away. “Forward aren’t you?”

You felt them stop in front of a classroom, you look at them. “What’s the big fuss?” You look around, seeing nothing back shadows of grey and dreaded black smearing and blurring together.

You feel them pull your hand to the name plate, you press the pads of your fingers with the gentleness of butterfly wings reading the organized, systematic dots.

D-R-E-E-M-U-R-R, T-O-R-I-E-L

“Oh, it’s Miss Toriel’s class? What’s wrong?” You feel them lead your hand down further, intertwining their fingers in between the gaps of your own.

C-L-A-S-S—R-O-S-T-E-R

You frown slightly, not getting it as you scrolled past the different names with your fingers, skimming the lines until you found two names. Right near the bottom.

F-R-I-S-K—D-R-E-E-M-U-R-R

(Y/N)— (L/N)

You look to Frisk in surprise, “We’re in Miss Toriel’s class now?” You felt them grin and nod as you attack them with a hug. Feeling on cloud nine, completely elated.

You pull back and grin widely at them, grabbing their hand and pulling them into the class room. “C’mon, no need to be late on our first day!”

Frisk smiled softly before following you silently, clutching a paper in their hand.

~Earlier in the PTA meeting

Sans grinned as he rested his arm on the back of his chair. Feeling pleased as Frisk was brimming with excitement, squirming in their seat as Sans winked at Ms. Cleary. Linda and some of the other cruel parents were beat red in fury. “How’s that for permission?”

She was floored and beyond mad, “How did you even?! There’s no way that is possible or allowed!”

Sans simply kept grinning. *Well, since you showed obvious racism and discrimination against monsters and disabilities I thought you would be pleased that I went to the principal.”

Sans looked at the despicable teacher, his pupils disappearing for a moment. *After all, to write such unpleasant words on a blind girl’s paper is enough proof that you wished her out of your class.”

“It’s dots on a page! It doesn’t matter! She was taking funding and resources from other parents!”

Sans kept smiling, but the air turned deadly. *She wasn’t, not on purpose if that isn't just another lie. You’re just being a shitty, ignorant person.” Sans dropped the anger, reverting to his goofy confidence. *Besides, aren’t you glad disabilities are being placed into another class?”

“I-It’s not fair to other students!” Ms. Cleary’s face is red as she tries to reverse the effects, but the damage is done.

*The fact you didn’t even use real braille shows you could care less about fairness.” Sans had a venomous undertone. *All special circumstances students with request can be placed into a class of choosing. Tori is a good choice, isn’t she Frisk?”  
Frisk nods happily.

“Y-you! You’re just placing Frisk into her family’s class aren’t you! You’re being biased!”

Sans grins, not that he ever doesn’t, *No, I’m just placing (Y/N) and Frisk into a class where I know the teacher will give a damn about them and their future.” Sans pauses. *Misgender Frisk one more time and you’ll have a bad time right?”

Frisk smiles brightly as they watch the PTA meeting, a meeting with the principal beforehand helped. They were so happy they could help you. They grinned thinking of how happy this would make you, how much of a better chance you would have. 

Frisk was slightly surprised when Sans knew exactly what they were thinking. They didn’t care though.

~<3~

You smiled as you sat next to Frisk in Toriel’s class, this year was getting better. So much better.

You were filled with pure happiness as you felt love supporting you.


	14. Alarm

You smiled as you hummed quietly drumming on the rim of the table as you waited for Frisk in Toriel’s classroom. You kept the beat nicely as you continued to click the wood against the petrified rubber edge of the table.

It’s been a week since you transferred class, a week of pure bliss. You had gotten so many good books from Toriel, and every homework sheet was in braille! That was definitely a first, you even got called on in class.

*Hey kid.”

You shoot up and fall back, your eyes widening as you fall backwards from your well balanced chair. You are frozen as you felt the weird feeling of floating as you were placed on the chair again.

“I feel like I catch you every time we meet kid.”

You huff, a hand over your chest to calm your rapidly beating heartbeat. “Sans? Jeez, Frisk was right. You are the pop-up book from Hell.”

You listen as Sans chuckles, hearing the air whistle against the grains of his rib cage and rumble as it bounced from the small space between. Friction on sound waves was always such a weird thing to hear.

*Yeah, I guess. How you know it’s me?”

You think for a moment, Sans always asked something about you perception, it was honestly kind of fun, it kept you alert.

“Your voice rumbles if you laugh. It’s an odd noise made when the sound waves get friction.” You gestured with your hands as you explained. “The air you speak with also whistles against you bones, though it’s very dim. It’s still there.”

You felt him ruffle your hair as you grin. *Nice that means you can’t tell the difference between me and Pap right?”

You shake your head, Papyrus was a fun guy. You liked him though he was a bit loud on your ears. “Nah, Pap’s louder. His costume also causes this cool echoing sound. Like when you use a boom mike. His bones are also a little smoother.”

You hear him chuckle again. *Damn, here’s me thinking I got you beat.” You smirk and poke your tongue at him.

“Nope, I’m too awesome for that,” You wink at him. “Try again!”

You hear him laugh again, *How do you know how to wink?” You giggle a bit.

“I one time read a book title that sounded good, it turned out to be a romance,” You scrunched your face. “It was really descriptive.”

You felt Sans wince *Jeez, that had to be…”

You waved it off, “I hear worst.” You slump a bit, spacing out a bit, before perking up as you hear Frisk footsteps. You grin and lean back, your head going so far back as to hit the back of the back rest.

You hear Frisk walk in and jump back, you wipe off the creepy grin and start laughing.

You hear them sign quickly and gesture at you. You snicker, “Sorry, not sorry.” You flip back and smile sweetly at them, “You good?”

You heard their hair swish as they nodded, you held out your hand as they grabbed it and pulled you to your feet. You swung up, not noticing lingering eyes on your hip. You dust yourself off and grab Frisk’s hand again.

You grin as you feel them smile back and tug you along, your feet drag slightly as you walk. As if expecting the ground to suddenly open up from beneath you.

*What are you hiding, what are you so desperate to not tell (Y/N)? There are people that can help you, ya know?” Sans muttered as soon as were out of sight, his mind still on the scars he had just seen.

*What would even make marks like that?” He murmured, thinking over possibilities. They were ranged in size, sharp edged. Like pieces of glass, a bottle maybe?

He groaned silently and rubbing his temples, *You are definitely hard to understand, always keeping me guessing. Yet I never seem to get everything to fit.”

Perhaps he should just watch and learn, hopefully piece it together soon. He had a weird feeling that you didn’t have much longer, much longer until any damage was reversible anyway.

Sans eyes glimmered blue and he disappeared, *Time to go home anyway, I really am a lazy bones.”

~<3~

You smile as you followed Frisk step for step, you fingers interlocked with their own. You soon untangled yours and waved a good bye, you felt their concern as you waved your hand. Feeling Sans and Frisk’s gaze on you as you crossed the street.

You grinned fearfully as you feel the tiniest metal scrap your shoulder, it stung a bit as you balance on the curb line. You turn back giving a very wide grin. Before throwing your arms up.

“Every single time! Yet, I never get hit, quite amazing right?” You walk away, feeling the unsettled eyes following your unstable journey back home. You suddenly felt a presence beside you.

*How ‘bout I walk you home?” You nod, though squirming slightly hoping with your whole being that your mother wasn’t home. You quickly forgot as Sans grabbed your hand with his. His bones feeling like sandpaper against your sensitive fingertips.

You finally felt the weird sense that told you that you were home, it was a dreadful feeling. Unlike when you go to your real home at the studio. You wait for a moment, studying the shadows of your home.

It was darker than it ever used to be, yet there wasn’t anyone home. You smile at Sans, unhooking your hands as you walked up to the door and opened the door. You pulled back as the door opened by itself again. You quickly closed the door again.

It happened again.

You didn’t know how you knew, it was just a feeling. ‘Why don’t you ask to stay?’

You shake your head, you didn’t trust yourself. Nor did you want to be a burden. “Hey Sans, I forgot that I had an errand. I’m sorry to drag you to my house. Well…” You laugh half-heartedly. “Catch ya later!” You speed walk away, towards the upside down building. Ignoring Sans staring.

*What the hell?”

You were filled with alarm of the repeated event.


	15. He was filled with Confusion

Sans walked into the house, cringing as the door creaked loudly. He didn’t know why, but he felt pain and fear radiating from inside. It was familiar, he didn’t want to think about what he sensed though.

Who he sensed.

He walked through the house, flinching as he stepped on some glass with his slippers. He looked around, *Jeez, who did a number on this place?” He walked past a broken little chair and a sink in the kitchen. Seeing bottles and broken ones.

*Bottles.” Isn’t that what he thought scared your hip…? He already had a bad feeling about all of this, he didn’t like what this was hinting at. It would make sense though. Maybe he wouldn’t have to look, maybe he could ask.

He had a feeling you wouldn’t tell him anyway.

He frowned again as he came across a few pictures, he hoped you weren’t home for this. Was the book thing a lie, is this how you figured stuff out. You had to grow up so fast, was this why?

He really didn’t like how this was ending up to be, he just thought. He didn’t know what he thought of (Y/N)’s parents, they never appeared to do anything. The pictures were of different guys, it was safe to assume (Y/N)’s father wasn’t around.

He didn’t know what unsettled him more, the different guys and disturbing images, or the fact that there were absolutely no pictures of you anywhere present.

He made his way out of the house quickly, already done, seen enough. He shuddered as he thought of what else he could find if he looked more. He tightened his jacket on himself, he hoped you were alright.

How did you know that the house was trashed? Did you just get a feeling? Did you just know? He wished he knew where you were, he wished he could help.

He hated this feeling, helplessness. He remembered it to well, every single time they. A thought occurred to him.

How did you feel?

He never asked, hopelessness, fear, anger, frustration, helplessness, and sadness. Is that what you felt? Everything he complained about, you never spoke a word about, never asked for help.

He almost wished you did, it would be easier to help someone who told you what’s wrong. Was that the point? He hated to think that anyone would think that way, ‘specially a friend of Frisk’s.

He could take care of it, but he would need to think this through a bit. He couldn’t just make stuff up to fix a real problem. This is why he told puns, to ignore all this heavy crap. It just seemed too real.

He stepped back outside into the still sunny evening, it was darkening though. How would you find your way home? That was a stupid question, you were more than capable as you had shown before.

More so than he first thought.

He grimaced, the sun in his eye sockets not matching how he felt. He usually would have smiled, truly happy for the sunlight once again. It just didn’t feel right.

Did you see the sunlight, in the shadows? Did you feel it, or were you so cold that it made no difference to you anymore. You didn’t have a jacket either, not that he had ever seen. What little did you have, enough to survive on your own?

Yeah, you wouldn’t have made it this far otherwise. What was driving you to keep going? Whatever it was, he hoped that you wouldn’t ever stop holding on. You were Frisk’s friend, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t care.

He did, you interested him. You made Toriel believe in herself and not those damn suburban-soccer moms. You told him about a world that he never thought could exist on the same surface.

Yet, you knew colors, he wondered how. You said that you had not seen mich for a long time, so you knew nothing else anyway. Frisk had accidently wrote something that they were scared was interpreted wrongly, you brushed off that simple question.

When you had grabbed a piece of his magic you had giggled. ‘Blue! That’s a pretty shade, Bright!’ He had shrugged it off, forgetting that you couldn’t see. You acted like any other kid, well. He made a frown of disgust. You were like Frisk, some of those other kids were filthy. Stupid and violent, bratty.

When he first went into a school with Tori he had a misconception of every child being like Frisk, in many ways he was grateful it was Frisk that fell. They would’ve been screwed if it was any other kid.

He smiled a bit, you had only known Frisk for a couple of weeks, but if anyone had seen you two they would’ve sworn you’d been friends for a lifetime. Even he felt like he knew you for a longtime. Though it seemed he knew nothing about your life.

Even if you weren’t in any other timeline, this is the timeline that counted. No more resets were going to happen, even Frisk had told him. It was actually a couple of days after Frisk had first told Tori and himself about you.

*Hey kid, what’s up?” Sans smirked.

Frisk smirked back and gestured to the ceiling. Sans laughed and Frisk shook, happy with their comeback. They signed something causing Sans to cough and look at them in shock.

‘I’m not resetting, never again. She needs us, more than a retry.’

Frisk had said it with such a straight face before walking up the stairs to do their homework. Sans didn’t know about you yet. He had wondered who he meant, who was she?

When Frisk had brought you home, clutching the paper between their fingers as if they wanted to burn it with their frustration. He had read it and understood immediately, it was you that they wanted to help.

He looked around again, before taking a step and appearing in front of his home. Short-cuts, such a nice thing when someone finds them. ‘specially it happens to be a skeleton as lazy as himself.

He walked up to the door, acknowledging Frisk, Tori, and a Froggit that had randomly appeared inside the house. He wasn’t surprised, many monsters in the ruins still came to visit Toriel.

He went straight up to his room and locked the door, he needed to think and to get at least an idea of how to approach this. He used to a scientist, but this wasn’t an experiment. There would be no retries, only one or two retakes. Based on how defensive you were.

He was filled with confusion, but kept going at ideas anyway.


	16. Perseverance

You sat down again, the rubble against your thighs was more than familiar by now. You hated being below the ground, that’s why you like the upside down building. The top floor was easy to reach, just a few ladders and holes in the floors, well, technically ceilings.

It was fun to be in a place when everyone was turned on their head, not just you. You had an advantage. You screamed as you slipped through a hole in the ceiling, reacting fast enough to grab a ledge.

You grasped at it with your fingernails, feeling the weird powdery substance between your skin and your nails. Pulling them apart uncomfortable. You whimpered and pulled yourself up and back on solid ground again.

Maybe you didn’t have an exact advantage, but it was dark night so no one would’ve seen it anyway. Blind or not. You scrambled away from it, hugging the wall, maybe the twelfth floor was enough. The twenty-first was overrated anyway.

You frowned lightly, shrieking as the wind hit the side of the building hard. The metal bars in the wall groaned ever so softly. You had never heard that, had that always been there. It terrified you, but also made you calm.

This would always stand, it was your safe place. Nothing could hurt you hear, you were above them all. Above all the hurt and fear, you had nothing to be afraid of here. You remembered what James’ sister always said before she left.

‘If nothing is perfect, if nothing hurts, if nothing has fear, than nothing I shall be.’ 

She always told you that if that were true then as a nothing she was perfect, just the way she was. Nothing can hurt yes, nothing can fear. It also means nothing can hurt her, nothing to fear. Double meanings.

You always wondered where she went, you liked her a lot. She was quiet, she took care of you. She didn’t judge you, she showed you music. She would listen when you told her about all the colors. No one else took you seriously.

How can you describe a color? Without the use of another color, it is useless. Colors are meaningless, how do we know we are all seeing the same color? It could just have the same name.

You giggled, ‘red’ could be blue, ‘blue’ could be pink. You laughed a bit louder, Sans’ magic could be a hot pink. Yet, everyone would know it as neon blue. You calmed down, tears were falling as your sides ached.

You felt really drowsy as you slid down the wall, feeling much safer than at first. You smiled and let out a last breathless giggle as your eyelids drooped, not that you could tell. Everything was black.

You soon drifted off, not even noticing as the ‘wind’ shifted pulling your discarded jacket over you like a blanket. You smiled softly at the warmth, and tumbled into a deeper sleep.

~

You smiled, it was warm here. The perfect temperature, nearing a warm spring. Not as hot as summer when everyone was boiling. You dipped your toes into the cool water, your eyes following the clear ripples of the perfectly clear water.

You giggled softly, not wanting to disturb the peace of this place, it was so nice. You smiled wider as you heard the birds chirping, you looked up and saw them flying. It was magic this place, music, light, colors.

You wished to never leave, or for it to last just a bit longer. You heard the familiar shaking of a shoulder, you turned your head. Grinning as you recognized them from the sound of their breathing and the shape of their shadow.

“Frisk.” You smiled as they waved, donning a blue and purple sweater and blue jean shorts. They grinned at you and ran to greet you. You stood up, holding out your hand, smiling brightly as you grabbed their hand.

You saw them look around in wonder as you sat back down on the edge with them, “Yeah, it’s quite a sight, isn’t it?” They nodded and sat beside you, splashing their bare feet in the spring.

You giggle, and splash them. It was fun, it felt like hours just sitting there, enjoying the sun. “How does it feel, feel to see people? See the sky, the sun, art I mean.” You watched as they tilted their head, thinking.

You watched as they drew something in the sand. It was a weird sideways eight, infinity? You stared at it and shook your head, the message was clear. ‘It feels infinite.’

You smile again, you feel the air grow a bit heavier. A little more lifeless, you could feel it growing. Frisk hadn’t noticed yet, but you did. It was almost over. You felt your smile fall as the colors began to fade to a grey. It was almost gone.

Frisk finally noticed the atmosphere, they frowned as well. Before smiling and taking your hand, they peeked to the crowding darkness in the distance as it drew nearer. Frisk put an arm around you shoulder, you looked and them.

You hiccuped a bit before returning the smile and leaning into them. Even after your felt the coldness of the dark and Frisk was long gone you smiled. You opened your eyes, seeing no difference still, but you knew Frisk was with you. Even if they were far away.

The ones who cared were always with you. Even on this dark, cool Tuesday morning, there was someone with you. You got up and pushed the jacket off of you, you had no idea how it got there. You didn’t think of it as you got up. The building stable once again.

You grasped the ledge and jumped, your feet dangled and you let go. Landing on the ground, you feel your spine bounce up to regain you balance. You pull your jacket on and continue down the building.

You were filled with perseverance as you no longer felt lonely.


	17. Venomous Hatred

You walked toward the school with a small bounce in your step, waving off the sinister aura glaring at you. Fear was everywhere, but you didn’t care. Days get better, you can make them get better.

You walked past the doors slowly, trying not to show any weakness to the moms in front of the school. You tripped on a book, you caught yourself. You slump a bit as you hear them giggle obnoxiously, you frown as you hear the nicer moms shuffle away. Too scared to help, just ignoring your need.

You hated how powerless you felt, how helpless you were. You push away the thoughts infecting your mind, like poison. It made you feel like crap, yet you still ignored the feeling. It would not define you.

You strolled past them, ignoring their laughs, ignoring their stares, ignoring them in whole. You would make it, you could survive. You had to.

You walked into the school with your head held high once more, you paste a smile on your face and brush back your hair. You walk the way to Toriel’s class and take your seat, you try your best.

No one notices your distance through the day.

You don’t know whether to be relieved or to tumble farther into the dark, crumble away, at least bury yourself further away from reality.

You really didn’t care anyway, that’s what you told yourself. It didn’t matter, it would get better again. Your friends were with you, they would care. They can’t take the dark away, but they can give me a bit of light.

‘Even I can tell that’s a lie.’

You ignore the voice, you couldn’t deal with it right now. You wouldn’t, you would brush it off. Your movements were robotic, you could do anything, but you barely had the energy to do anything.

You didn’t like how dark the day was becoming, not when you could feel the sun.

Something was wrong, you thought back to the trashed house. You finally figured it out this morning, your mother had a boyfriend. He wasn’t nice to anyone.

Not that you could tell.

You heard the final bell ring, you got up. Walking out of the door as soon as it was opened. Not waving to anyone. You felt a glance or two on you, but it seemed no one thought anything of your oddness.

They only thing that made you think anything else was the quiet whistle in the air, just standing outside the school. You ignored him, pretending as if you didn’t notice him. That you could tell he was looking at you.

It was a lie, even he knew that you could sense him. You were just playing the cards you had. You always were a liar, never doing anything right. Even so, you would play pretend, just like when you were younger.

You would fake it, it was fine. It would be fine, just until it really was.

‘If nothing is perfect, if nothing hurts, if nothing has fear, than nothing I shall be.’ 

You grasped onto the words again as you crept up the block, dragging your feet as you walked to the doorway of your house. Dread filled you to the brim as you teetered on the edge of just walking away.

You brushed off the imaginary dirt on your bare shoulder and walked to the door, opening it to reveal a darkness more bitter and terrifying then it ever had been. You could hear quiet sobbing, your mother.

You silently entered, you almost past by her door. You couldn’t do it though, you needed to help her. She was still your mother after all, she needed you. She was still sick, she didn’t mean any of it.

You walked into the dark coldness of the room, you could tell it was trashed. The room smelled like whiskey and smoke, salt was also heavy in the room. You took soft steps as you approached your mother. Staying quiet.

You kneeled next to her, hearing her whimpers until she suddenly wrapped her arms around you tightly. Sobbing into your shoulder.

“He left m-me, he d-dumped m-me!” She cried harder as you returned the hug, trying your best to disregard the wariness filling you or the fact something wasn’t right.

You rubbed her back as she sniffled, you felt a cold radiating from her hand and a weird smell. Like dissolving chemicals, you could even her the small cracks of powder breaking down.

“It’s all your fault, he thought I couldn’t give him a good son. It’s your fault!” You realized it too late though, she was off the pills for her bipolar disorder. The coldness in her hand?

It was a knife, one that was already in your shoulder. You cried out as she pushed your down onto your stomach, straddling your hips as she craved into your back and upper arms.

“Useless, Worthless, Freak, Stupid, Idiot, I hope you burn in hell!”

You held in your cries as you moaned in pain, feeling liquid running down your skin. It was drying, making your skin tight as you tried to move away.

It hurt, all you could smell was that familiar metallic smell. It was disorientating as you tried to distinguish left from right, up from down. Your whole spine ached as well as your body as you thrashed your legs. 

You sobbed in relief as your mother got off and walked away, laughing and sobbing. You crawled away, being careful not to bump into anything. You gathered yourself up and sat against the wall. Feeling so broken.

Maybe it was you who caused her to act like this, maybe you deserved it. She wasn’t stale because of you. It was all your fault. You were a burden, she was sick because of you. It was always your fault.

You were filled with a venomous hatred…for yourself.


	18. Shame

You finally regained some breath, enough to make the lightness in your head go away. You gulped and tried to make your heavy breaths quieter. You shudder as it stings to even breathe.

You take slow deliberate breaths to ward away the spots snaking into your vision. You stumble to your feet and grasp at the door know to the front door. You take your blood stained dress into your arms, away from your shaking knees so you could walk.

You didn’t bother with a jacket as you limped away. You felt blood seeping into your hair, dripping down your face into your eyes. Down you cheek, you fall to your knees on the sidewalk coughing up liquid. You take another breath and force yourself to your feet.

It was going down your chin now, it was everywhere.

You quietly swear, not liking how your chances looked. You quietly chuckled, you were such a dork, even when you weren’t doing well.

You continued to shakily walk down the street, wobbling, tripping. Just trying to stay afloat in this life. You breathed heavily, already feeling the strain on your weak body.

You still stood, you felt something in your heart. Something that urged you along. To stand up, you to survive and make it to your destination. You barely could process where you were going in your hazy mind, you could picture it though.

You let your legs carry you to where you needed to be, you didn’t know where to go. Yet you knew where you should go. You let yourself go there.

‘I wanna go home.’

‘You’ll make it out okay.’

You didn’t know who it was, why they only said those words. You still listened though, running out of anything else to listen to.

Where ever was good God in all of this? Why had have they forsaken you? You no longer knew why, no longer cared why. You just wanted it to stop. It was time to stop. It was really time to stop.

It feels like you had gone through this so many times now, but you haven’t had you?

You felt so stiff, and light headed, like you were going to drop at any second. You still kept going, maybe this was all just another bad dream. The only difference is that you weren’t going to wake up any time soon.

Or ever if you did fall asleep, you won’t wake up.

You managed to get there, limping, falling, crying, hell you crawled in the dirt. You finally made it though. You rang the doorbell and waited, you heard the familiar footsteps; the smell was heavy and had a weight.

You had missed it though, you missed it here.

You looked up, your eyes were burning and stinging as you heard a gasp. “(Y-Y/N)? What are you- What hap- Oh god.” You could differentiate the sounds and sentences as you took a step and wobbled.

You smiled up at him weakly, holding him in a tight hug. “James, can I come home?” You hear sobbing and yelling as you collapse, hearing cursing as you felt someone hold you tightly.

You head lulled back as you passed out, falling into a dreamless sleep.

~

It had been a couple days, you still ached, but having your family live with you in James’ house took all that away. These last few days had been the happiest you had ever had. Though now there was something you dreaded more than going home to your mother eventually.

School.

You loved the subjects, but the fact of seeing Frisk and Toriel after disappearing and what happened. You felt so ashamed, as if you could’ve been stronger and fought back, been smarter and avoided it.

You let your head hang as you concentrated of the blotches of grey in your limited vision and noise as you let it guide you toward the front doors. You felt the whispers of the moms.

‘I bet you that she faked being sick to get pity.’

‘I say that her mother probably has a boyfriend beat the hell out of her, I would if I were her.’

‘I think-‘

You didn’t like them, you ignored it as you walked passed them, not sparing a single glance or even acknowledging their presence. You heard a faint whistling next to your ear as something a foot taller than you loomed above.

*Hey kid, where you been?” You turned your head and gave a half smile to the deep voice that you recognized as Sans, you walked beside him. You felt more comfortable now that he was here.

“Home.” You heard Sans chuckle at this.

*That’s hilarious, how come you didn’t answer the door then?”

“I never said that was my home did I?” The answer seemed to off-set the skeleton as you picked up your pace, walking to your class before he could ask more questions. It made you feel on edge, like somehow he knew.

He probably does that damn comedian, you know what you should do? C’mon I know you know, it will be easy.

You tell the voice to screw a cactus, whatever that means, and shake your head to rid it from your mind. You walk up to the door of your classroom and sigh. You weren’t looking forward to this.

You were filled with shame, waiting for judgement of your friends.


	19. Disgust

You quickly walked in before you could sprint away and never return like you wanted to. The world didn’t work like that and you knew it, so you forced yourself in. Your head hung as you sat down at your assigned seat, your back hunched and not touching the chair as you pulled out your reading book, waiting for class to start.

You felt so worthless, so useless. You hated the feeling, it weighed you down like an anchor to a ship in the pier. Especially when you that you had to go to your house after school ended, back to mother.

You hated how completely powerless you were, it was pathetic. You couldn’t even face one of your only friends, and your favorite teacher without being afraid. It was pitiful, you were a pity case, that’s what you were.

You didn’t think anyone could convince you otherwise, not while your vision was clouding over with darkness, a dark that was swallowing your heart along with your eyes. You felt like lead as you laid your head on your desk.

You could barely even pick up your head when you felt a familiar warm, quiet, presence beside you. You waited for the questions, waited to be judged, ridiculed. Until you felt something else besides a paper of questions, something that made you feel warm and almost torn you apart as you held in sobs.

They said nothing, like usual, they just snaked their arm down to where yours laid limp at your side and wormed their hand into your own. Intertwining your fingers they just held you hand. Not even pay attention to it, like it was natural for it to be this way.

You wiped your eyes with your sleeve as the voices began to scream again, saying you didn’t deserve someone like Frisk, you tried to let go gently. They didn’t let you, they held your hand tighter, giving it a small squeeze. When you tried again they held it firmly. Still not looking your way.

You finally stopped, instead of trying to get away you held it back and let it be, let them hold your hand. Soon the class started, you thought that you would have to let go so they could write.

They didn’t let you and wrote with their left hand, they made you continue to stay close. As if you would disappear if they let go.

They didn’t let go for the rest of the school day.

~

You trudge home, you held your left hand against yourself. You could still feel the lingering heat from their hand, the warmth that you had felt when they didn’t want to let go. You felt light in your chest as you remembered the feeling of security.

You almost blushed as you remember Toriel ruffling your hair and giggling when you felt her look at your linked hands under the table. You could almost feel her delight at your presence.

It wasn’t for you dumbass, she was probably feeling sorry for you, you burden.

You heart sank.

You’re worthless, it doesn’t matter anymore. Would people even care if you left for good? They would probably be relieved, they wouldn’t have to deal with your pathetic, useless ass. 

You didn’t bother to fight it anymore, you were tired. You were in pain, you couldn’t fight anymore. So, instead you slunk to your room, ignoring the burning pain. When you finally made it you collapsed onto the floor.

You laid on the floor, your dazed and unfocused eyes resting against the black abyss of your ceiling. You panted as pain spread through your body, but it felt good. It was distraction from the pain you felt in your chest.

The pain that was crushing your lungs and making your heart feel like it was going to explode. Like you were going to drop dead from where you laid, all because of the will power and hope that you had left from your life dying slowly.

You resented yourself, so many what ifs, so much judgment. You needed someone to hurt you, to make you feel like you did inside. You deserved it, you were a bad kid. You caused trouble and laid heavy burdens on the people that you loved. 

They probably felt an obligation, they were kind people. They didn’t love you, they were pitying you by being nice, being good citizens. The small spark of light left in you tried to whisper that it wasn’t true. It was thrown away, it tried again. Its voice was swallowed by the screaming and howling wind in your chest.

You looked around the room, looking for anything that you could use to fill the gap in your soul. Something to stitch yourself together for the time being. Something to make you feel whole and happy again.

Not even a dream could do that though, there was one thing that you could possibly do. You argued with yourself, there were other ways weren’t’ there? You couldn’t bring yourself to do…that.

Your clouded mind couldn’t figure out what else to do though, you couldn’t think of anything that would work though. Everything was tinged with red everywhere you looked now, it was nice.

There was color, but it disappeared as quickly as it came and you craved to feel the color, not even worried about seeing it. Just feeling, but none of your notebooks or objects had that color.

There was something that did, you couldn’t bring yourself to argue with your hazy mind as you watched the object, as if it would jump up and run away if you didn’t look to where you knew it was. You grabbed the screw driver from under your bed.

You couldn’t control it anymore.

You reached for the pencil sharpener, only wanting momentarily relief. Only caring about that moment of bliss, not caring for the regret you would feel after the deed was done.

You were disgusted with yourself as you did what you promised never to do.


	20. Dullness

You woke up, regret heavy on your chest as well as complete sadness. Even as the light shone, you still saw dark. There was nothing left, not even dark. There seemed to be nothing in front of your eyes. Nothing could describe the color.

You still got up though, you still put on a sundress, you still used a jacket to cover your back and shoulders. It was another day, even if you had just lost everything.

You pulled on your converse, spots, blue. You grabbed your keys, they jangled, you could almost pick out how big each one was from the echoing ring. You smiled a bit, at least your hearing was still just as sharp.

You tugged your jacket more securely on yourself, making sure it stayed in all the right places. You grabbed your leather messenger bag and walked out of the door. Closing it tight and locking it.

You walked on the sidewalk, feeling your way to school like always, almost getting hit, by probably the same driver if we are honest, like always. Though by five incidents like this within the month it seems more of premeditated, attempted murder than distracted driving.

You trotted into school, like always, hearing the whispers, like always. The same day with different results. Insanity, was going the same damn thing, and expecting shit to change.

So if you followed that, you are insane.

You went through your day, interacting with Frisk, smiling at Toriel, doing the homework. You already felt blank, like a clean slate. Or just one that never changed with time. Just static. There wasn’t even shadows to change it anymore.

Life was just dismal now.

Your arm burned and itched, it was uncomfortable. That was your price for breaking a promise, and for doing something made you feel like trash.

The bell rang, and Frisk grabbed your hand. You looked to where you knew they were. They pushed a paper into your hands.

‘Are you okay? You seem distant.’ You smile and nodded.

“Yeah, just uh, my eyes they, uh. You stuttered over your sentences as you tried to say it. You really tried, but you couldn’t as you just dropped your head. Not looking at them in shame.

They squeezed your hand you felt them smile. ‘It will be alright, now do you know math well? It seems triangles aren’t my thing.

You looked up, and let out a weak chuckle. You heard them gritting their teeth in frustration earlier. You scooted closer and tried to let go so you could let them write. They didn’t let go again and grabbed the pencil with their left hand it seemed.

You smiled softly, and began to explain acute and obtuse. They seemed mildly better at it, an hour later. Then again, maybe not.

You laughed quietly as they dramatically banged their head on the table. Crumpled up pages with writing and braille asking what and how littered and table. You rubbed their back, with your now free hand, comfortingly.

You heard the whistling of air moving through familiar bones and you smiled once again. *Hey kid, time to go home.” Frisk huffed and got up, holding out a hand for you as you took it as they helped you out of your chair.

Their hands brushed your arm, making you panic for a second, before they pulled it away again. You relaxed partially, they didn’t notice.

You listened as Frisk walked off, *Hey, (Y/N), Toriel wants Frisk’s help on a lesson and ya know. That stuff makes it hard not to fall asleep, so how bout I walk you home?”

You felt slightly nervous, but once Sans appeared next to you and grabbed your hand you agreed. You felt safer around them, you just hoped that Mother wouldn’t be home. You trailed behind Sans, using his footsteps to guide yourself in a straight line.

*They were worried ya know? I was too, where did you go?” You’re mouth stretched into a straight line. You were expecting this, a bit to as why you were dreading it.

You lied, “I got sick, and my sight, it got…It’s gone.” You sighed, letting your hand loosen and dangle. The only thing that kept it up was Sans’ tightening around your fingers.

*Sorry kid, I didn’t realize that. Must have been rough on your family.” You looked to where you knew the ground was, though now it was just an endless void.

“I haven’t, I didn’t tell them yet.” Sans raised an, eye, socket, thing.

*Not even your mother? Don’t you need help for stuff like that? Like eye drops?”

You continued waddling along as you walked beside Sans to your home. “No, stuff like that wouldn’t work. It isn’t my eyes deteriorating, it’s the signals in my head. My neurons for sight and interpenetrating images have been dying off since I was born. Now, they are all dead. There was nothing to be done.”

You flicked your head, pushing the hair out of your face. “Besides it doesn’t make a difference anyway, or anymore. Most people think it’s black and white, you’re blind or have sight. It’s not worth it.” You sighed.

*That’s a weird way of looking at it, how much did you see before?”

You thought back, “I never saw colors that I can remember, but I used to see shapes and shades of grey. When I met you I was seeing blotches of different shadows, now it’s like I’m not seeing anything. It’s not black, it’s like there isn’t anything, it’s indescribable.”

You got a strange idea. “Close your eyes.”

You stood still as Sans seemed to obey. *Yeah, why?”

“Now, look to where there is light and try to describe the color.”

He seemed to still as he moved his head and thought about it, his grin seemed to become confused. *I don’t know how to really.” He trailed off.

“Exactly.”

You arrived at your house, you could sense the danger looming. Her car was there, you felt your breathing get funny.

*Hey, is your mom home?” You barely managed to nod as Sans walked you to the door and knocked. You could smell your mother before you saw her. You hoped Sans couldn’t smell the alcohol, you really hoped he couldn’t.

“Hello, oh! (Y/N) who is this?” You shuddered on the inside at her sickly sweet voice, sensing the venom behind it. She was wasted and you ruined her buzz by showing your face. You instead smiled.

“It’s a teacher at my school, he said he lived nearby and would walk me home since I hurt my shoulder in gym.” You lied effortlessly, you could feel Sans brush off any confusion that he had by the time you finished. He wouldn’t rat you out.

Sans looked at your mother, more importantly her stats. Her LV was high, dangerously so. Sans had a hard time staying calm and keeping his pupils in his sockets as he went with your story and your mother pushed you inside and closed the door with a rude farewell.

He could smell the whiskey, and now he knew why.

You sighed later in the night, your body leaning against your bedroom door. You both thought at the same time.

‘Please Sans, don’t tell.’

*Please kid, tell me.’

You were filled with a dullness as the days repeated on a cycle.


	21. Joy

You sat on the bench under the tree, Frisk was out of school today, and in turn Toriel. The substitute just ignored you the whole time, so you guessed it was fine. You let your legs dangle and you swung them a bit.

The breeze felt good against your skin, but it didn’t help the way your forearms itched and burned. You sighed, not a moment of peace. You heard whistling and a clatter as something sat beside you.

“Hey Sans,” You murmured, it was a quiet day, peaceful, you didn’t want to break it.

*Hey kid.” He leaned back, relaxing. *How was your day?” You shrug, not sure what to call it, it wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great. *Yeah, we all have those days.”

You relaxed slightly as you enjoyed the still air. “Yeah, guess we do.” 

You sat in silence, nothing changing in the void of empty space. It was still as indescribable, you held back a wince as you remember confessing that you were completely blind the night Sans walked you home.

That wasn’t a memory you wished to think about. So you didn’t as you listened to Sans’ breathing?

*Kid, what’s goin’ on? You’re not telling anyone anything, to be frank, it’s getting me all rattled.” You laughed weakly at the pun; that was a pretty good one.

“Tibia honest, I don’t know how, nor do I want to.”

He sighed, you could hear irritation. You felt like crap now, knowing that protecting him was also making him frustrated at you. You didn’t want them to leave though, you didn’t want to be alone.

That’s when the dark crept in and suffocated you, took control. Forced you to do things that you didn’t want to do. Things that made you feel worthless and that you regretted with your whole heart.

You stood still in your resolve, even as your heart sank lower. You felt like gravity increased on your body. You sighed, he wasn’t going to talk until you did was he?

“Do you know what it feels like? This freakin’ cycle. The way that some days are completely the same, dates and years repeating as if the first, second, third time were all a dream?” You held your head in your hands, you fingers wound through your hair as you gripped it tightly.

You looked up, tears were building up in your eyes as you finally let out the thoughts that were eating away in your head. “I have lived, 1,292 years, in a single month. Over and over, each time it gets duller and duller, nothing changing. Not me, not anyone else.”

You close your useless eyes, “Yet, I remember when I saw everything, that’s why I don’t miss it. It was useless, seeing the same day, over and over. It was like a picture, the ‘big picture’, one that I had staring at constantly until the outlines faded.”

“It was an endless rut, that’s why I simply don’t care what anyone does, because what’s the use if nothing ever changes.”

You slumped down, feeling a bit lighter that you had finally vented it. It was true, you had seen the same day so many times it was hard to count anymore. It didn’t matter the day anymore, you had never gotten this far though, the events that were playing, you had no clue.

Frisk, you had never met them before, yet they were like an old friend.

Sans, it felt like you had heard his puns, the clattering of his bones since you were small…er.

This family, you so wished it was your own. It felt like your own, they reminded you of your family at the arcade. You missed them, but there was a two week tournament, they weren’t here until next month.

You swung your legs, he was silent. *Do you have any other family besides your mother?”

You brighten up immediately and count on your fingers. “Yeah! They aren’t blood-related, but they are my family. They are at an arcade tourney right now, I live there sometimes too! They promised to take me with them next tourney, since I kick ass in Punch-Out!”

Sans chuckled as you pumped your fist in the air, it was clear that you looked up to these people. *What are they like?”

You start to keep a tally, “James is like my big brother! He’s tall, and has a higher voice than most boys, he taught me how to play games! Nadia is around middle school I think, age isn’t very important there, she is obsessed with preserving my innocence. She freaks out when I curse.” You chuckle a bit.

“Lilith and Queen, I think Queen’s real name is Madevelynn, they are like my older sisters. They’ve been together since I’ve been there, so I don’t think I’ve even seen them apart.” You continued chattering endlessly as Sans listening with a real grin.

It was a nice change to see you light up with happiness. He let you babble as he sat there and watched your small form as you moved your hands excitedly. You really cared about these people, he could tell by the way your unfocused and clouded eyes glimmered with joy, how you talked about them as if they could move the earth on a whim.

They were heroes in your mind, he hoped they would remain that way.

He stood up as your mood dropped a bit, “They aren’t always here though and when they even are…” Sans stood up and you mimicked him, standing beside him.

“I’m always alone.” You quickly moved toward him as you stood beside him and buried your head in his fur lined hood. Hugging him closely from behind. “That doesn’t mean I want to be.”

Sans pulled you closer, soon you were walking with him, *Who said that I’m leaving? I am, but I’m taking you with me.” Your eyes felt tight and burning as he grabbed your hand, you imagined a happy grin on his teeth.

You felt joy as you trotted on to what you called a real home.


	22. Fulfilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, this book may be in a relationship? ;) You know who you are.

You felt the rough scrape of his bones on your smoother skin, your wrists still burned and itched, but it was better now. Sans was giving you the strength to not give in again. You knew you probably would later.

You wouldn’t think of that right now though.

You let Sans pull you on the familiar when to their house, though you feel as if the world shifts and you are outside their door and Sans lifting you up over the porch steps and inside the door.

You would usually feel slightly offended at someone not trusting you or letting you do it yourself, but you didn’t mind since it was Sans. He didn’t do it to belittle you, he did it because he didn’t want you to get hurt.

His pupils shifted to the right, was it bad that picking you up was something he liked to do on whim. Your facial expression of confusion and wonder was adorable. He could see why Frisk had taken a bit of a liking to you.

It was too bad they weren’t home yet, they’d be back soon with Tori though. He shifted you in his arms, and maybe get you a proper meal. You were ‘all bones’, no really you were way too light for a healthy fourth grader.

How old were you? He guessed maybe ten, you looked around with your unfocused eyes. You looked at lot younger like this though, more open, curious without feeling out of place.

He set you down on the couch and disappeared, before appearing with two soda bottles beside you. You looked at him, well more like his forehead.

*You ever have a marble soda kid?” You shake your head, you had had soda at school functions and parties, but you had never had ‘marble’ soda. He place the bottle in your hands, you held it steady against your lap as you felt it.

It was a funny shape, it felt as if someone pinched the glass and made two deep depressions in its shape.

*How it works is you take the plastic thing, yeah that, and you feel the top? It’s a marble, and you use this to pop it out, when you drink it do it this way so the marble doesn’t block it again.” You listen intently as he teaches you how to open the bottle. 

You raise an arm in victory as the marble is freed with a popping sound. You shift t so the bumps hold the loose marble and take a drink.

Sweet, it tasted tangy too, melon you guessed. You were glad, you always like tangy and sweet over tart and sour. You grinned, “Who told you about these?”

You heard Sans open his and take a sip, “Our scientist friend,

Alphys, is a real anime nerd, she found these at an Asian market and got Undyne addicted, who then got Papyrus addicted. Isn’t my brother cool?”

You chuckle and take a sip before nodding sincerely, “He is pretty boss, though I feel like a leprechaun around him.”

*What is your personality falling short to his?”

You laugh, “Well, you know what they say…” You look up at him with a creepy grin and blank eyes murmuring loud enough for him to hear. “The short you are the closer to SaTaN.” You giggle before laughing fully as you feel Sans’ bafflement.

He sighs and you feel him hold his chest, “You got me there kid, I’m not pissing a short person off, after all.” He winked, “I’m only facing half of a normal person.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

You joked around with Sans as you enjoyed each other’s companies and jokes, and he seemed to enjoy as you hummed quietly helping with his crossword. Your eyes seemed to flutter shut as your head rest against the coffee table from your position of kneeling on the ground.

He chuckled as he heard a pen slip from your fingers and clatter against the table as your arms went limp on the table above your head. He grabbed a blanket and pulled it over your evenly breathing body.

He looked at your peaceful expression and looked you over, you seemed so much more relaxed and calm compared to anytime else. He patted your head as you rubbed your wrists together unconsciously and drifted further into sleep.

That was one thing he had noticed was odd, you kept rubbing your arms. It was as if your skin was crawling, he chuckled, remembering an old phrase from a different reset. Not a funny situation, just ironic that a small cinnamon roll like you had reminded him of it.

He nearly burst out laughing as your head bumped the table from your comfy position on a lump of sweater and you gave a small, childish, whine. He picked you up and you cuddled into his white t-shirt as he set you to rest between him and the arm of the couch.

He furrowed an eye(bone?) as you messed with your sleeves again before going limp again. He was really curious now, he gently shifted closer, and ran his fingers through your hair as you sighed in comfort.

He tugged up your jacket sleeve, his eyes went dark at what he saw. Bruises on your upper arms, and dark, vicious red lines across your forearm. He didn’t know too much about stuff having to do with emotions.

But he knew damn well what shit like that was and usually meant.

He pulled down your sleeves again and pulled you to rest your head on him as he held you in his arms again. He patted your head and your soft (H/C) hair. Your little legs dangled next to his femur as he pulled you fully against him as you held on to his shirt with small tightly clenched fists.

He sighed and gently held you tighter, he murmured as his grin ebbed away slightly. “It’ll be okay kiddo, I’ll make it okay.”

You nuzzled your head further into his chest plate.

‘You’ll make it out okay.’ it echoed again in your mind, the same warble.

You felt as if a promise was fulfilled as you slept feeling loved.


	23. Glow

When you woke up you almost jolted back, your eyelids flittered, trying to clear its vision, but your head just wasn’t processing it anymore. *Hey kid, sleep well?”

You sighed and nodded your head, remembering you were at Frisk’s house, you stretched your shoulders a bit. You looked up and grin at Sans, he seemed to falter for a moment before chuckling and setting you down again.

You almost froze when you heard the door open with Sans next to you, fearing the worst, until you heard Frisk’s heartbeat. You smiled and moved next to the couch, you tackled them in a hug as soon as they passed your hiding spot.

They gasped before shaking a laugh as they hugged your back, you let go and grinned. They smiled too, they were happy to see you so lively. You bounced along with them, as they grabbed your hand.

They pushed a piece of paper into your hands as you stood idly waiting for them to finish rummaging through a drawer. You felt the deeply imprinted dots, you smiled as messy as ever, but readable all the same.

‘I’m teaching you Origami!’

You raised an eyebrow, you can’t see the paper, how are you supposed to fold it precisely? You shrugged, whenever Frisk was determined they usually had a plan, no matter how odd.

Like how they flirted with the bullies and prank called them with Sans when they got their numbers. It was hilarious to hear the next day all of the people who complained about getting wrong numbers bombarding them with puns.

You would definitely do it with them the next time they invited you to. You sat at the coffee table again, this time with Frisk beside you and Tori conversing with Sans quietly further away. They were murmuring so soft you couldn’t make out their words.

You shipped it.

You wondered where Pap was, he usually was home. You guessed another cooking lesson with Undyne, who you had never met before. You brought back your attention to Frisk, who was teaching you on how to make a jumping frog.

You folded it, but yelped when you pulled away. Your fingertip stung as you held it against your chest. The room went deathly silent as you pulled out a tissue and cleaned your finger off.

Frisk and you continued happily as Toriel and Sans stared at your back. They couldn’t get the red flashing numbers out of their skull.

HP 02/05

That wasn’t normal, only having two HOPE was bad, but the fact you only had five to begin with. It was concerning and meant bad things for you, especially since your defense was extremely high.

That never meant good things, if you had low HP and high defense, that meant every piece of HOPE was very valuable. Life and death, because of how difficult it was to lose a point with good defense.

Meanwhile you were remembering the dream you had while you were passed out on the floor.

You were six, you could see shapes, pretty fuzzy, there were no colors. That was okay though, you could hear well, and crayons said what color they were, and you seemed to be able to tell if you felt them.

You heard giggling from the side, and whispers. “Dearie, why are you wearing such a horrible dress?” You looked towards them, your eyes were clouded even back then, unfocused.

“Who’s there? I’m (Y/N), it’s good to meet you!” They only laughed louder.

“Oh? You’re that blind girl aren’t you? That’s adorable, did you dress yourself today? I can tell.”

You felt some pride, being too innocent to realize they were mocking you, ridiculing you. You grinned widely, “Yeah! I did! Isn’t red just a really pretty color? I also like the stripes!” This seemed to surprise them.

“Aren’t you blind? How do you know the color?!” Your smile twitched into a frown for a second before painting itself back on.

“Well, I wasn’t always colorblind, or becoming blind. I know colors, and I can feel them, why are you surprised?” 

You heard one of them step forward as you saw a swaying shape grow taller, you shrunk back. Squinting to try and make it clearer, it worked a little bit. “Isn’t it obvious? You are an ugly little girl, we couldn’t believe that you actually were going to our school.”

“Why don’t you go away you freak?”

“Or better yet, disappear!”

“You burden!”

Nothing was visible anymore as you looked around frantically, you stood there, covering your ears and silently screaming into the static as the ground disappeared and a color darker than black swallowed you whole.

The only thing left in your dazed eyes were tears that were the shade of a blooming rose.

You jolted back as you felt Frisk tapping your shoulder, you laughed awkwardly, giving the excuse of zoning out as you work diligently on a paper star. You liked the idea, you were going to make a jar of them.

You were excited. You were thinking about color coded them, white for a good day, black for a bad day, red for a variable that would not be named.

Sans watched you carefully as you giggled and folded the little stars, feeling their edges carefully. You were a cute kid, he didn’t understand what destroyed you so much. No one could drop someone’s max HOPE.

Except themselves.

He bid a farewell to Toriel who was furiously baking pies to try and fill your HOPE up without alerting Frisk, she really was a motherly figure to everyone. She fretted over everyone, though, with the look of you.

You looked like you kinda needed someone to worry about you, because it seemed as if no one ever did. He sighed, these humans had some effed up people in their midst. If (Y/N) were in a monster family underground, you wouldn’t have been shunned.

Humans really were weird, with that he disappeared into his room.

You were filled with a little lighted glow as you made your own stars.


	24. Nostalgia

It was another school day, you sat there smiling, you were happy. You had won a battle, there was one less red star in your jar than when you had begun to count. You felt ecstatic as you and Frisk conversed via texting.

One thing you liked about having a phone, text that read itself, though it apparently wasn’t very accurate with names. You laughed with Frisk as it completely screw up your own name, apparently you were (N/Y) instead of (Y/N).

You let Frisk grab your hand again, you smiled as you felt yourself glow a little brighter. They really seemed to light you up, make your own SOUL a bit brighter. You never saw your soul, neither had Frisk or Sans, apparently you didn’t need to see your soul to see stats.

You wondered what stats they were talking about, you asked and Sans said you were good, so you let it be. Though you really excited to see your family, they were finally back. You had texted them and they said to come over and that you could bring Frisk and Sans.

You turned to Frisk gathering your courage, “Would you like…uh, would you like to come meet my family? They aren’t my biological family, but they are like a family to me anyway.” You rambled as Frisk squeezed your hand.

You felt them grin wide and smile as they nodded furiously. You smiled as you walked hand in hand with them as the bell rang, Toriel said it was fine, but she couldn’t come because she had more work to do.

You ran outside with Frisk, your bag bounced against your side as you and Frisk found Sans and you invited him. He seemed distant, but pretty happy to meet your family. You grew more and more excited as you began to run with Frisk laughing as Sans watched over you two from his lazy pace behind you.

Of course, he wasn’t doing nothing, he was gently guiding your footsteps to the right placements on the sidewalk, he grinned. You were really such a ball of energy, he checked your stats again.

HP 03/05

He chuckled and smiled as your hands stay firmly intertwined with Frisk’s as they blushed. Sans could see that Frisk was smitten, as well as anyone a mile away. You were getting better.

He wondered if you knew, he watched you as you giggled and tackled them in a hug. Laughing hysterically as they turned it against you and lifted you up into a piggy back ride. He guessed you didn’t matter, because either way you cared for Frisk too.

You tugged on Frisk’s sweater as you pointed to where your felt the neon lights, the studio arcade. You felt Frisk let you down and you grabbed both the other people’s hands and dragged them inside.

You smirked and crouched, leaving Frisk and Sans behind for a moment as they watched you sneak behind the couch. You listened to the familiar tune of Frosty the Snowman, you put your phone away.

They were such weirdos

You had a better idea, you leapt up and yelled into Queen’s ear. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” She screamed and Navi screeched, passing out on the spot. You giggled as James grabbed you and lifted you up on his shoulder!

“I HAVE CAPTURED THE CULPRIT! WHAT SHALL WE DO QUEEN!” You giggled louder as Queen poked your sides as you dangled upside. Sans chuckled as Frisk jumped up and down, reaching for you as you.

You were finally set down and engulfed in a hug, you could feel Frisk’s hair on you cheek. What you didn’t know is the way Frisk stuck their tongue out and frowned. This caused James to laugh as Frisk puffed their cheeks.

Navi woke up and pushed your heads together as yours and Frisk’s cheeks bumped against each other, causing Frisk to jump back and you to turn red and yelp. Queen laughed at your expression’s as Lilith kept screaming ‘I SHIP IT LIKE FEDEX! SPREAD THE LOVEEE~’

Sans grinned and started a conversation with those two, bad puns and all as you and Frisk ended up trying to destroy each other in Super Smash. You had no idea that Frisk looked a bit like villager, and they still get rekt by you.

Until everyone in the arcade figured out that Sans with Ness wasn’t something you wanted to face. You shrieked as you heard Sans teleport in back of you and you threw a bomb at him as Link.

“Man (Y/N) you really, shiek.” You laughed as you got mercilessly slaughtered, Lilith cried out in defeat as Sans told her to get dunked on and shot her down to the ground at an amazing speed.

“THIS IS A BAD TIME!” You heard Queen chuckle and comfort her tearing girlfriend. You smirked, and opened your mouth.

“I guess it’s payment, since you always gave me a bed time.” You heard Lilith shout again as you heard Navi jump up and threaten to end you if you didn’t stop with the puns. You heard her playing Mirror’s Edge as you grinned. 

You winked at Sans, before turning back to Navi, “Hey, you can’t win something without some risk. So why not take a leap of faith?” She screamed as you laughed with James as he held you in his lap directing you on how to kick Sans ass.

Turns out, only James could pound Sans into the ground, which confused Sans to no end. James laughed as he pranced around the screen as Little Mac. “This was in honor of my win in Punch-out, while I was blind-folded!”

You looked at him incredulous before tackling him in a hug, he always said he would do it in your honor and win. He did it. You giggled as he lifted you and spun you. He whispered in your ear. “It’s only been three years hasn’t it? I won though!” You cheered as James and the rest of them whooped.

Even Frisk and Sans joined in, though they didn’t seem to get exactly what you all were cheering for. Until you turned on the Wii and pounded every challenger you faced into the dirt, even Sans.

Guess he isn’t as good at dodging when he can’t teleport.

You were filled with nostalgia as you felt everyone around you again.


	25. Spark

You hummed as you sat between Frisk and Sans, holding your slice of pie in your hands. You looked up at Sans. “Every day is closer to your next plate of nachos.” You hear Sans chuckle a bit.

*Oh really? What if you never eat nachos again?” You grin as Frisk looks at you, waiting for something, you were never random. There was a catch.

“Oh, I guess its nacho lucky day than huh?” You feel Frisk bury their head into the crook of your neck shaking as Sans whistles and compliments your pun. How did he whistle without lips?

So weird.

You laughed Sans retorts, *Ya know, I would say a recycling joke, but it’s been used before.” You snort and cover your more as Frisk shakes hard and Sans lets out another laugh. You stick up your middle finger and flip them off.

Rude idiots.

You soon bid farewell as your feet touch the pavement, walking away with small taps and clicks of rubber heels on pavement. You hum as you walk, it sounds familiar.

You swear that you feel someone watching over your shoulder.

You don’t hear anything though, it was probably nothing.

You shake off the feeling and walk up to your door, opening it. You walk in, it’s eerily quiet, you smell something thick in the air. You take another step in and step on something, wet. You pull back and touch it, dark, your eyes widen as you take a step back.

You turn sharply as you hear the door close and lock behind you, you jump and take a few steps away from it as you hear a familiar dark chuckle.

It was your mother’s boyfriend.

You clasped your hands together as they started to shake, you heard a raspy laugh from the hallway as you turned again. You backed away more, almost making it to the kitchen, until your back hits the wall.

You were two feet off.

You shudder as you hear them talking. “Hey baby, how’s it goin’?” You hear the breaking of glass under a boot as you hear them draw nearer. You yelp as he grabs your arm.

“It’ll be a lot better soon.” You squeak as they shove your arms into a coat, your feet into another pair of boots, after taking off your converse. You felt them put a hat on you, don’t they know it’s almost April?

You want to take it off, but they drag you out of the house, you feel a hand gripping your waist painfully as they pull you into the car. Probably making the image of a good family. Why did you have a bad feeling?

You shivered as you felt the temperature in your blood take a sky dive, plummeting to much your dread. You didn’t know where you were going, you couldn’t tell either. You felt like your head was spinning, your tongue felt dried, your head stuffed with cotton.

You almost lost it when you hit a bump in the road and got jerked to the other side. You almost lost your snack too, that probably wouldn’t have gone over well. You were pulled out of the car again.

You stumbled a bit, but straightened and listened, rushing water? A river? Where were you, was this in town. You felt stone beneath your feet, it was pebbles that told you that. You adjusted your clothes to get rid of the nip in the air.

You could feel the residual light from the setting sun on your skin, warming it up a bit. You move your head around, looking for a sound, any sound. No one, besides the two beings next to you. It was empty.

That water was really loud.

You felt your heart dropped when you realized something, last summer. You had an incident with a pond near the house. Some nice couple picked you up and brought you home sopping wet. You couldn’t swim that well.

Your mother knew that.

You felt you mother grab you and push you near the edge. You looked up at her as her boyfriend hung back near the truck. You felt your eyes burn as she didn’t utter any kind words. “I’m relieved, I hope you see your father again. You’re just like him.”

“Completely worthless.”

You didn’t even scream as she shoved your small body over the knee high railing. You tumbled through the air, your hands grabbing at anything solid. Until you hit the water. You froze, it was so cold. You could feel currents everywhere as you held your breath.

Your head went beneath the waves as you closed your eyes tightly. You could feel your clothes and hair become plastered to your skin. You shuddered as your lungs started to burn. You tried to move, everything was so hard to do.

Where was up, was your flailing actually pulling you further down. You struggled more until you felt an arm get hooked around you and pull you toward warmed water.

You gasped as you felt the now freezing air on your skin, you felt yourself get pulled onto gravel and hooked into a tight hold. You shook like a leaf in rough wind as the, you now determined, woman pulled off your soaked jacket and stuff your limbs into a dry furry jacket.

“Hey, you alright punk? Man, some humans are crazy, what the hell were those two doing? Weirdos.” You felt her rub your back as you finally opened your eyes, you looked up, still seeing nothing, but you could feel her.

You looked around a bit, trying to hear with all the water in your ears. You were so wound up and scared, was she coming back? The woman seemed confused, but didn’t seem to care as she picked you up and held you close.

“You’re alright punk, c’mon loser. It’s probably not the best time to be drenched.” She laughed loudly, “Well, then again what do I know about that!” You guessed she was some type of aquatic monster after that last statement, she smelt like salt and her arm was covering in microscopic grooves, scales.

You let her carry you off to somewhere other than there, you felt like you could trust her. She did jump into a fast pace river just to pull you out of it. Others probably would have just called 911.

You are filled with a spark that tells you to keep going.


	26. Fuzzy

You smile as you sit on the floor of the lab, it belonged to the woman’s girlfriend? You thought it was cute, you sat in front of them, looking like a heap of blankets with a face. You could clearly hear one of them murmuring that you were adorable.

Your cheeks heated up a bit, you felt the lady, ruffle your hair. “Well, you got anyone that looks after you punk?” You think for a second.

“I don’t have his number.” You hear shuffling and papers rustling, then you hear a shaky voice.

“I-I have a ph-ph-phone book h-here!” You shake your head.

“I only know his first name, um, I do know someone else!” You reach into your head trying to figure out the spelling. “Um, it’s my teacher, her name is Toriel! Uh, Dreemurr I think is her last name. She’s my friend’s mom.” You hear chuckling and a hand on your shoulder.

“You are in luck punk! We actually know them!” You face her, probably looking past her shoulders, if she notices something she doesn’t say anything about it.

“You do? That’s good, and yeah that’s right, I’m sorry.” You hold out your hand hesitantly. “I’m (Y/N).” You grin.

You feel yourself being shaken by an arm around your shoulder. “I’m Undyne! That’s my girlfriend Alphys over there.” You perk up and smile easier.

“Oh! I know you! You teach Pap how to cook! Frisk and Sans have talked about you! You turn to wear you hear footsteps and feel nervous energy. “And you were right, marble sodas are pretty great Alphys.”

You hear a fangirl noise as you are held by other pair of shorter arms. “Oh my gosh do you know Mew Mew Kissie Cutie too! You have to if you haven’t!” Undyne chuckles as she grabs the lab phone to call Toriel, she’d probably know what to do with you.

Undyne looked to where you were now standing, listening to Alphys intently. You weren’t bad, a little off with the fact you didn’t look anyone in the eyes, but she didn’t mind you. You were a pretty cool punk. Tough as nails.

She laughed a bit, imagining you in armor; that would be badass. Though with your skinny limbs she doubted you could hold up a spear. Work in progress.

Undyne heard Toriel’s voice and she grinned, explaining what she knew about what happened. Undyne’s smile fell as she heard Toriel’s voice grow grave and worried, Undyne put down the phone as Tori bid a farewell and a ‘I’ll be there soon.’

You smiled as Alphys placed a weird head band on your head, you felt something fuzzy on both sides as you looked toward her, curios for an explanation. You only heard more squeals and an ‘Undyne get over here!’

You could feel Undyne’s presence when she walked into the room, it was gloomy at first. However it lightened when you felt her eyes on your head. She chuckled calling you and Alphys nerds before excusing Alphys, calling it adult stuff.

You guessed that they had called Toriel, maybe found out you were blind? That always seemed to give people cold feet. You didn’t know, but you didn’t think about it as you fiddled with the object on your head.

Why were they cat ears? Well, maybe dog, but they were too pointed for the typical dog ears that were described in books. You doubted it was dog ears.

You sat on the floor, when Undyne first brought you in you were shoved into a bathroom and given a massive pair of sweatpants, a big tank top, and a really furry and warm hoodie. You smiled as you nuzzled your face into the fuzzy hood.

You really liked it.

Undyne was pretty extreme in wrapping you up in blankets, you were glad Alphys made you a hole to breath. The female laughed about how her girlfriend was turning a guest into a burrito. Though, she was also the one stacking towels on your head to dry your hair.

You heard them walk back in as you looked toward where you heard the opening. You hear more squeals as you are pulled to the couch. “Toriel will be here in a bit nerd.” You nod and feel claws through your hair.

You relax as Alphys starts to braid your hair while completely fangirling over an anime called Mew Mew Kissie Cutie, and shaming the second for apparently, in Undyne’s words, ‘sucking ass.’

You giggled as you were softly crushed by two bodies as the lights dimmed and you heard the static of a T.V. being turned on. “D-do you l-l-like anime?”

You nod, “I think Soul-Eater was pretty dang cool.” You hear a squealing and the clacking of claws on tile.

“You picked a good one punk, this one is so cool! Scythes! Guns!” You laugh softly as you feel yourself getting squished by her weight on your shoulders. You simply snuggle into her and the blankets, you feel yourself being picked up and placed on her lap as your head band falls a bit.

You hear more squealing and utterances of ‘Kawaii!’ “Why does everyone pick me up?” Undyne chuckles.

“Easy punk, you’re light, and damn fun to pick up!” She hoists you onto her shoulders and stands. “Did you know I can bench press seven children?!” You shake your head, though you think Frisk might’ve told you that once, you couldn’t remember clearly.

“Impressive.”

“HELL YEAH!!!”

~

You lean your head against Alphys as your body is firmly held in Undyne’s lap. “So, okay, I think I have this, what the hell is Blair, I thought she was a magic cat. Why is Soul nose bleeding over a feline? Bestiality?”

Undyne bursts out in extremely loud laughter as Alphys blushes deeply and scrambles to explain Blair the Witch as a doorbell rings out. She gets up to open the door as you sit with Undyne who quickly puts her head on yours.

You sit quietly, leaning against the fish woman? You felt gills earlier, so that was your guess. You raise your hands, the baggy sleeves covered your fingers by a few inches, to which Undyne snickered as you tried to fix your head band.

You felt your feet touch the floor and a scaly hand grab your own as you heard Toriel call out to you. You followed, your now claimed hoodie hung off of your small frame like a curtain. It was so fuzzy. You marveled in it.

You heard a crash as made it in front of Toriel and Alphys, Alphys then freaked out, saying how ‘he’ was so rowdy and ran off, deeper into the lab. You looked to that direction, then Toriel put a paw on your head and steered you to her side.

You toppled into her, holding onto her leg as she gave you a small hug. You felt her run her fingers gently over your new braid and you grin. “That’s very pretty, who did it?” You point at Undyne, you feel her straighten up and puff her chest out proudly.

You hang onto Toriel as you hear her and Undyne talk, you can’t help but feel Undyne reminds you of James and the others at the arcade. You smile and almost giggle as you think of Queen and Undyne in the same room.

That would be terrifying and amazing.

You hum quietly as you soon leave, promising Undyne that you’ll come to visit her soon. You fall in step with Toriel as she holds your hand tightly, leading you away from any curbs or obstacles. You knew they were there, and could avoid them, but you let Toriel take care of you without a word.

You knew that she was worried, it made you sad, but also really happy.

You knew she cared.

You were filled with a fuzzy feeling as you felt other’s concern’s for you.


	27. Guilt

You felt Toriel stop and tug you to stop before gently pulling you up the stairs, you counted them as your feet hit their surface. One, two, three, four, five. Five porch steps. You had never made it up all of them before, it was strange.

A good feeling though.

You walked in hand in hand with Toriel, smiling and waving at Frisk and the two skeletons on the couch. Meanwhile Toriel worried, as she pulled you into the kitchen, she didn’t know exactly what to do.

She remembered what Sans had asked her though, and she felt an obligation to do just that.

~

“Sans, what’s rattled your bones? You’re acting unlike yourself.”

“Hey Tori, I need a favor.”

“What is it Sans?”

“It’s about (Y/N).”

“W-what? What’s wrong with her?”

“Tori, you know as well as I know, something isn’t right. Also, I, pulled up her sleeve. When she fell asleep on the couch, it wasn’t somethin pleasant. Her HP after what I saw… it didn’t surprise me. So can you ask her about it?”

“Sans, I don’t know…”

“Please? Tori, I don’t know what’s wrong, and you’re better with kids than me, the only one I’ve ever dealt with is Frisk, and they are different from other kids.”

“Haha, yes I suppose they are…Okay, I promise.”

~

She felt a tug on her sleeve, her heat broke as she saw your looking up, trying to look into her eyes with your own so clouded and glassy. A giant grin. You looked so small in those clothes, so young, yet your eyes didn’t. “Are you okay?”

She sighed and bent down to your level, she spoke quietly, which was nice on your sensitive ears. “Child, can you tell me, what happened?” You look down immediately, you weren’t expecting an answer like that.

You stammered, trying to think of something. “Please don’t lie my child, Undyne told me she saw someone push you in and drive off.” You stumble on your words, nothing passing your lips as you try to form the words. Before you sigh.

“My, my mother.” You hear her gasp, you quickly try to fix it. “She didn’t mean to, when she doesn’t take her medication the mood swings and her boyfriend. It just…” Your shoulders slump as your hair covers your sightless eyes as you look anywhere but at Toriel. “It doesn’t always make things better or easier.”

You feel so weak, as she gently lifts you onto a chair and unzips your new hoodie, pulling it off she gasps again. The tank top hid your back, but your arms were on full display. You fold them against your chest, trying to hide them.

“I-It’s okay, just some damage. I can heal. It’s just scars.” You feel Toriel stretch your arms and trace all the bruises, all the vicious angry red lines. Still healing.

“Was this all your mother?”

You chuckle nervously, “No, the bruises are just her boyfriend, my mother… She dumped her medication and had a bad day. It was only once…” You feel her run her fingers over your forearms again.

“Those, those were,” You mumbled incoherently. You feel her rub go to rub your back comfortingly, you hold back a wince. Your voice goes slightly louder. “I did those.” You feel her hug you close, rubbing your back fulling this time and you flinch.

She pulls back, you can feel her confusion and she peeks behind you. You hear her gave a sharp inhale and feel her hands get shaky as she pulls you shirt back down and holds you close.

She sounded so broken up as she rocked you softly muttering “I’m sorry.” Over and over. You felt so much guilt, as you tightly grasped your fingers.

“It’s not your fault, don’t feel bad.” You let her hug you as you feel other presences come closer, all you soon feel joining the embrace.

*It goes the same for you too kid, ain’t your fault either.”

“Human! Your people are weird to hurt someone so kind as you! Don’t believe in them if they don’t believe in you!” You can hear Frisk signing heavily before just wrapping their small arms around your waist as the burning in your eyes fell down your face.

You hiccupped as you leaned against them, they held you as you finally let it all out. Not hiding anything anymore as you let them wipe your tears away, ruffle your hair, and show you that you were worth something.

You couldn’t see them, but you didn’t need to. You already knew they had the biggest hearts you had ever known. You giggled as you heard Sans tell you that he was tear for you. Paps started screaming as Frisk sat beside you on the chair, watching.

You smiled and laughed a bit, until Toriel picked you up, saying that it was late, even for a none school night and tucked you into a guest bed. The room right between Frisk and Sans, across from Pap and Toriel. She told you to go to one of them if you needed anything.

You nodded as she walked away, you sighed as you looked into the nothingness that you guessed was the ceiling. You had kept it away, the itching in your forearms. You still ignored it, but it only made the voices louder.

They called you a burden, worthless, you were weighing your friends and guardians down. You shouldn’t have been saved. You couldn’t even die right. You should’ve just stayed under the surface of the water and drowned.

You would have been more useful dead, not wasting air.

You believed it, because it believed in you didn’t it? It believed that you were real, just it didn’t believe your value. Then again, you didn’t either. You buried your face in the pillows and blanket of the bed and just wished to stop breathing.

You were filled with guilt as you believed that you were wasting other’s time and space.


	28. Tranquility

You wake up to quiet footsteps in the room, you know immediately where you are. You don’t open your eyes as Frisk approaches, you feel them over your body. Leaning over you, you can almost feel them debating whether or not to wake you.

You make the decision for them as you boop their nose with your finger. You open your eyes as they jump back, you smile as you swing your legs down and stand beside them, grinning.

“You do know that I hear everything you do right?” You smirk as you walk lightly, avoiding any obstacles, you would lose your cool attitude if you just face planting, you would go from awesome to awkwardly clumsy. They beat you to it as they wrap an arm around you, supporting your flight.

“I can even hear your thoughts…” You cackle as they jolt away, you smirk, thinking as to what they would think. You got it. “You live with living breathing skeletons, a mind-reading girl surprises you?” You feel a shudder run through their spine, right beneath your fingertips.

You wink as you and Frisk make your way downstairs, going down to a peaceful breakfast. You feel all warm as Toriel serves breakfast, Sans reads you the paper, Pap screams as Sans makes a pun, and then you do, making him accuse Sans of being a bad influence, and Frisk silently laughing as they stayed glued to your side.

They never seemed to leave, constantly holding onto your hand, guiding you with a gentle hand to your back, firm enough to guide, but not enough to hurt your injuries. You did feel slightly uncomfortable.

Toriel had wanted to clean you up, which you had no problem with, but your scars. You had felt paranoid and self-conscious the entire time. Waiting for her to push you away. Yet, she never did.

She only hummed softly and pet your hair, murmuring how soft it was. That drove you wild inside, the anticipation. You were ten for god’s sake, why were you worried about being rejected by people you trusted. People who only wanted to help? Why couldn’t you relax?

You also felt strange without your jacket, or something covering your arms and legs. Instead of your normal sundress, tights, and a jacket. Which you admit, sometimes killed you. You were donning one of Frisk’s tank tops and a pair of jean shorts, they went to half of your thigh.

You felt the material as you sat on the floor with Frisk, a pair of headphones on as Frisk showed you their favorite music. Red, the shirt was red. The jeans were darker, a blue-black color.

You shuddered, causing Sans, who as watching you like a hawk, (you could feel his empty sockets on you at all times. All times.) to look around, and dump his jacket on you, thinking maybe you caught a draft.

You perked up and looked toward the door, you raised a brow. “Hey Frisk, why are their people just standing outside of your door?” You weren’t answered by them, instead by wood cracking and very loud proclamations of ‘HEY NERDS!!!’ and ‘Ohhh yesss!’ You faced Frisk as they curled your body closer. You felt them shrug and you imagined a large grin on their face.

You smiled and waved as you felt the atmosphere change, you knew who at least two of them were. “Hey loser! Didn’t know you’d be here!” You felt her pick you up and prop you against her shoulder as if you weighed nothing. Which, apparently you did.

You always wondered why your joints felt so bumpy.

You heard small shuffles and laughs as well as a ‘hell no, you gotta share the dork.’ You yelped as you were dropped into one of her arms. You curled up instantly, she continued to hold you though, laughing while she boasted about bench pressing seven children.

Seven children? That’s what? Averaging 80 lbs. times seven. 560 pounds?! Jesus, you relaxed as you no longer had doubts about her being able to carry you in one arm. Hell, she could probably lift you with one hand.

Though you didn’t stay in the crook of her arm for long before you were grabbed and spun around. You felt dizzy as you heard coos and warm metal being nuzzled against your cheek and hair. You felt so confused, even as you heard Alphys exclaim an ‘oh dear.’

*What the hell?! Put her down you tin-can!” You hear weird automated laughter.

“Why darling? Undyne got to hold the cutie, why not I?” You felt your body being cuddled by strange firm, but rubber oddly enough. You let your head lull towards Sans as you are situated on the, assumed, robot’s hip.

“What’s going on Sans?” You hear him cough and try to explain, but he fails pretty epically as the male holding you explains it in fewer words and more pet names.

“I am Mettaton sweetie and I am guessing that you are… cute darling!” You smile softly emitting a small huff from your lips. Like a breathless laugh. You hear him squeal as he holds you tightly against himself.

You feel yourself getting pulled down to your feet and a familiar sweater pulls you up the stairs and away from the ruckus. You giggle at their protectiveness, for you had faced worse than an overbearing robot, a loud, but affectionate fish woman, and a short, but furiously irritated, pun-loving skeleton.

You appreciated the sentiment, you really did. You linked fingers with them as you both crashed down onto a bean bag thing? You swore that you were so comfortable that you were going to purr like a cat.

You got small hearts in your eyes as you thought of the animal, small, balanced, quiet, and strong. You really admired the furry creatures. Not to mention you had seen one before your sight had begun to fade. They were adorable.

You curled closer to Frisk as they put a pair of headphones on your head. You leaned your back, slowly and gently, against their torso and they put their head on your shoulder. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the fun, upbeat music.

You felt really peaceful and calm as you fell asleep easier than you had in years. Frisk smiled softly at your sleeping form, they placed a soft kiss on the temple of your head. Your (H/C) strands fell down naturally perfect in their eyes.

They couldn’t help but watch your sleeping face, and feel you breathing as you two laid together. They felt a bit creepy, but just as they thought of letting go and just laying actually beside you instead of under you. You flipped in your sleep and encircled your arms around their neck. Nuzzling your head into their collar bone you smiled in your sleep.

They blushed a bit, and then caught sight of you exposed arms next to their eyes. They never acted on anger, never hated anyone before. They could easily say that they hated your parents. Everyone in the household did, even Pap, though the innocent skeleton probably didn’t understand the loathing feeling.

They held you a bit tighter as you shuddered, you let out a sigh and relaxed again. They no longer cared how it looked to anyone else. They cared for you more.

You were filled with tranquility as you breathed in time to soft music.


	29. Confidence

You eventually had to wake up, and it was to screaming and multiple repetitions of ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Ohhh yes!’ You could guess the two that were yelling. You stayed still though, content with lying there and just breathing. So quiet, so warm.

You heard a door and a pause, you ignored it. Choosing to tighten your grip and hold onto the peaceful atmosphere. It had to end as you were shaken out of your drowsy state by cold fingers.

You felt your legs being untangled from Frisk’s as you were set on a knee, your feet not even brushing the ground as you felt your arms being stuffed into a jacket. You head lulled back and you whined a bit. You heard a repressed squeal and cooing as you were pulled against a warm torso.

You let them carry you as you kept your head in their neck, it was hotter than skin, and mildly vibrating. You sighed in bliss as they ran their hands down your back, softly. “You know darling, you are too cute for your own good! <3!”

You would deny it, you didn’t believe it, but you were too tired. Also wondering how the hell did the robot pronounce the heart emoji out loud? How the hell did that work? You decide not to try and question it.

Or try to question how the robot, who Sans was probably watching like a hawk, managed to sneak past him and out the front door without Sans even batting an eye socket. Whatever Sans was doing must have had his full attention.

(You learned later that Sans was helping Toriel with Undyne and Pap cooking, you also learned that you should tread lightly and make sure you don’t smell smoke if they are within 50 feet of a stove.)

You opened your eyes as you were set down and pull along by the gloved hand of the metallically human being. You felt the metal, gray, black, and hot pink? Interesting, but you wouldn’t say anything. You weren’t even really sure.

“Well, dear, sorry if you were doing something important, but I’m stealing you for a bit! You are just too adorable to not dress-up! Not to mention Toriel put Frisk off-limits for a while after last time… Past is past darling!”

You feel yourself being picked up again and placed on hard shoulders as the robot speeds up. “Now come along dove! We have a long day ahead!” You decide to just go along with it, it might just be fun.

~

You stood in front of Mettaton, you had learned his name when he rambled on about himself while he got your hair cut. You fingered the ends of your hair, it was styled nicely, mostly free, a braid on the side of your head, behind you fringe, highlighting the streak of light blue in your hair. He had insisted that you add a bit of sass to match your sharp tongue.

You had sassed him a bit, and usually adults didn’t like that, he laughed and told you to do it again. Spunk. You had never been described that way. He had also put makeup on your, you could feel the sun shine a bit brighter on the corners of your eyes, eyeliner, your lashes felt heavier, mascara.

Your lips also felt softer, Chap Stick and lip-gloss. Queen would be proud, as well as Demi. Now you thought about it, Demi and Mettaton were pretty alike in most regards.

You heard him gasp and ask you to twirl. Your new leather jacket swished stiffly, your high-waisted shorts wrinkling under your movement as you also fixed your slightly cropped graphic tee-shirt. It hit the top of your hip bones as you spun. You weren’t dying of over-heating that was for sure.

You took off the jacket at his request, feeling the cool A/C hit your skin, you didn’t feel your normal twinge of anxiety or disgust though. Your arms were on display, your legs too. Nothing besides your bandaged back was hidden. Yet, you felt okay.

In fact, you felt truly beautiful. You couldn’t see it, but the way Mettaton was reacting, he was speechless. From what little you knew, nothing got him to shut up, so you felt pretty good.

You giggled a bit and gave a small, smug smile. “Cat got your tongue?” You heard a scoff.

“No, a cat monster works for me, not against me. Go to hell.” You feel him nudge you playfully, you smirk.

“Sorry, can’t, I’m out of school sick days, maybe next Saturday.” You heard him start to full on laugh as you moved next to the flamboyant robot, holding his hand as you walked out of his hotel, back home.

You skipped on the walk as you spoke with Mettaton, “So is it really true that you don’t see at all?” You laugh and nod.

“Yeah, now a days that’s correct, but that’s not how I used to be.”

You hear a sigh, “Oh my dove, that’s awful! I really hope that it’s something you are alright with, are you okay?”

You smile, “Yeah, I never really got angry about it, stuff happens, and you have to deal with it. My cards, the ones I were dealt with at least, were never the best.” You wink. “But, because I am such a badass I can win this damn poker game. Bring it on!” You puff out your chest as Mettaton laughs again. Saying how you should try comedy.

You tell him you did try, but your jokes fell a bit short.

You also told him about when you went color blind, putting many color puns into it. You swore his fans overloaded on that story. You grin as you walk home, it was a really good day.

You finally made it to the porch steps, to which you stumbled up with Mettaton lifting you by a single arm. They always talk about his legs, but he could lift you with one arm. Undyne probably had bench pressing competition, then again, you thought about the vain robot’s personality. Maybe not.

You knocked on the door as it flung open and you were scooped up into furry warm arms. It was Toriel almost in tears while holding you, you listened further and found a very pissed Sans reaming at Mettaton, Undyne and Pap trying to lure you out in the backyard with spaghetti. Frisk fretting on Pap’s shoulders looking around, not even to laugh at their method of searching.

You also heard Alphys fiddling with something, you heard a familiar chime, your phone?

“What darling? I simply took the little human shopping, she was slightly drab, but now she is fab. You tucked your fingers behind the sleeves of your jacket as you looked up at Toriel with a grin. Making yourself look smaller, Mettaton said that worked well for manipulation, this was just testing for science, and seeing if you could convince James to buy you marble sodas.

“There is no way you are getting off the hook that easily you scraps for brains!” You heard cooing and a goat muzzle rubbing against your cheek. Toriel forgetting completely about anyone else there. You also heard Sans stop yelling for a moment, before growling. “Dammit you over-sized microwave.”

“If there is a will there is a way~” You wink at Mettaton as you are set down. You smirk at Sans before wobbling your way to the backyard, to which you initiate a game of hide and seek, your disappearance forgotten entirely besides Sans and Toriel.

*(Y/N) was in on it too, damn, nice job kid.”

You smiled and laughed as you played outside, you were filled with confidence.


	30. Fear

It had been a couple of days staying with Toriel and Sans, school, homework, everything was normal. Safe. Yet, you found yourself being wound tighter than a spring, a gun, with the hammer cocked and a hair trigger, ready to fire at the word.

No one really seemed to notice your tension, you didn’t want them to either, all you would get was that, ‘you were safe here’, ‘no one reported you missing, they weren’t looking’. It had happened before, you weren’t looking for a repeat.

You would be damned if you heard those words ever again. You tried to think of a time you ever really felt safe for longer than a day at least. You couldn’t think of a time.

It’s easier to reminiscence on the bad, then to receive the good.’

You agreed with that, in the present days, it really was easier to believe a tragedy than it was to believe in a miracle. You shook your head as you sat at the guest room’s desk, finishing up your homework.

Your ears perked as you heard Toriel calling dinner, you pushed aside your worries and walked out of the bedroom door. You peeked out of the hallway and began to go down the stairs as you felt something behind you.

You yelped and turned on your heel, facing whatever was behind you. You relax immediately as you hear whistling and rattling. *Woah kid, you alright there, you looked like you had a bone to pick with me?” You sigh tiredly.

“No, just startled me, sorry Sans.” You feel him nod as he picks you up, everyone seemed to pick you up. Including Pap, though he always would do silly things with you on his shoulders. Like chasing the squirrel in the backyard, or the time you played hide and seek and you hid on Pap’s back, nestled in the dip of his scarf.

You were pretty devious that day, Pap freaking out that he had lost the ‘EVEN SMALLER HUMAN’. You had almost blew it by giggling, Sans had eventually told Pap that he should use his scarf.

You were set back down when you reached the bottom of the staircase and reunited with Frisk. They grinned as they grabbed your hand and pulled you over to the dinner table for tater tot hot dish. You smile as you ate, that was one thing you really liked.

Having three meals a day, and not cup noodles. You smiled as you listened to the conversations, using bits and pieces of replies when it came to Frisk’s lines. Guess you could say you were, reading between the lines.

You smiled a bit wider, as you looked to Sans. “You know, I once saw a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things.” You heard Papyrus yell and Toriel smother giggles as Frisk shook beside you.

*I know what you mean kiddo, I once had a relationship with a mime, it was an unspoken bond.” You grinned at that, you decided to use the joke you did with Mettaton.

“You know, when I found out I was color blind, boy, that news came straight out of the purple!” Frisk was shaking really hard now and you could even hear Pap laughing.

*I’ve red that one before.”

“Wait, I’m still cyan what you did there.”

You hear Sans chuckle, *Good one kid.” You smile and pose dramatically.

“I win this challenge!”

The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, with playful banter as you help clean the dishes and play with Frisk in the backyard. Before you know it, it’s night and you’re in bed, staring at the ceiling as sleep evades you this very Monday night.

You sigh and turn to your side, looking at the wall. Nothing was there though, eventually however you managed to clench your eyes shut as you drifted off to sleep.

~

You looked around, seeing dark shapes, chains. You didn’t like this, no, not at all. It was ominous, lonely, and barren. You walked around, looking for something, or someone. You couldn’t remember who you were looking for though.

You called out to them, calling, yelling, screaming, again and again. Expecting something to change, but nothing ever did as the same thing repeated in your head like an endless loop.

‘but nobody came…’

You looked around, and stopped as you saw someone, your mother, with a malicious grin. You tried to back up, but failed as something prevented your step, air. The ground wasn’t solid.

“Sorry kid, but no one can hear you scream here. Now, stop being such a burden and die.” Her face was blank, with that same grin as she grabbed your shoulders. You looked her in the eyes, nothing was in them, not even hate as she shoved you down.

You tumbled down, through the air silently. Facing the sky as your hair spiraled and cascaded through the air, your clothes flowing, a white dress. You closed your eyes as you felt weightless, peaceful, pure. Just for a moment.

Until you hit the water again, same pain, same hurt, same cold. You thrashed about, managing to keep your head above the water. You called out for help, for Undyne, for someone to help you.

‘but nobody came…’

You felt something grab your ankle and drag you under as your stayed wide, frozen open as you looked up at the stars. Grabbing at anything to help you get air, to live.

You felt a hand on your ankle, as you held your mouth with your one free hand. You looked down and all the air escaped your mouth in a silent scream.

It was you, though you don’t know how you knew it, dead, eyes blank. Your face was bloated and discolored, pale. A white that wasn’t beautiful and pure, rather rageful, dead. You could see the hunger in your own eyes, vengeance, guilt, anger. A white dress donned your figure.

It matched the one on your body now, as it stuck to your limbs. It loosened and flowed around you as you suck beneath the waves. You looked around, seeing nothing but a blue serenity.

You felt the water entering you lungs as it all became distant, nothing registering besides your mother’s drunk giggles and you mind screaming at your own incompetence. You couldn’t handle, you didn’t want to, you felt yourself slipping down into a deep trench as you let go.

Your body fell as you floated up, you pulled up and away from water, you weren’t soaked, not even a little damp. Everything was so bright, pretty, beautiful, the colors were back. As if God turned the shell incasing you into prism and let the light reflect the colors of your soul.

Your soul.

You wanted to cry, you wanted to be dead. You were afraid though, of what other’s would think. You were afraid what would happen to such an awful person like you. You were so scared.

You felt yourself lose your borrowed wings as you tumbled back down, but your sightless eyes shot back open just before you hit the water once more.

You panted as you calmed down from the dream, seeing nothing, but even that was better than seeing in your nightmares.

You were filled with FEAR.


	31. Restlessness

You sat on the curb, your eyes were closed as you hummed, an ice cream treat stayed firmly in your fingers. Sans was on his way home from the store and you were waiting for him, Tori and Frisk were baking in the kitchen, and Pap was… You had no clue, but he was probably fine.

You smiled as you took another lick of the ice cream treat, not hearing any voices telling you that you were a fatass, or ugly. Just you, the wind, and the warmth of the sun. You finally felt at peace.

You finished the frozen food and kept the stick in your mouth, you weren’t going to liter, but you didn’t want to go inside just yet. You felt the wood between your teeth, it vibrated lightly as you hummed.

You heard a car pass you slowly, but you didn’t think anything of it as it parked slightly down the block. Or that someone was walking past you up to the door. You felt their eyes on you and felt their shock.

You still ignored it, still ignoring the sinking feeling, or the fact the voices were whispering once again. You didn’t want them to be back, so you ignored them. You heard the door open and Tori greet the visitors.

You heard quiet discussion, and then Tori calling out to you. “My child, Frisk is in the living room, leave us some privacy?” You nodded and scampered up and past the strange people. Your eyes opened and made contact with where you thought they were for a moment.

You swore something was wrong, they made a shudder go down your spine.

You met back with Frisk in the living room and sat down next to them, they grabbed your hand as you leaned against them. You took a paper they handed you gladly, ‘Why are the police here?’

You shrugged, they were officers? “I dunno, maybe something happened and their looking for witnesses or somethin’.” They nodded, feeling satisfied with that explanation as you relaxed and let them put head phones on you.

You couldn’t explain the sick feeling in your stomach though, you didn’t like something, but you couldn’t tell what was making you feel that way. You wished it would stop. Maybe it was the ice cream, yeah, maybe.

You dropped your thoughts as you felt Frisk’s even breathing against your back as you leaned against them. You held their hand, it felt like you skin was being burned, but in the best way. It was so warm.

You heard footsteps approaching, three pairs. You peeked up to the empty space where you were sure they occupied. You listened to a deep male voice. “Excuse me, Miss (Y/N)? You have to come with us, alright?”

You raised an eyebrow, your suspicion was clear as day. “Why? Who are you?” You heard a hiccup as a female voice spoke. Tori.

“They are the police…my child. They are taking you back home.” You stood up and walked over to her, hugging her tightly.

“I am home.” You heard her start to sob as you heard the police begin to murmur, something about Stockholm syndrome. You snapped. “Hey, you assholes! I heard that you rude, uncultured twats! Miss Toriel treats me better than anyone else, she is the best teacher I have ever had and she has helped me so much since I got hurt a few days ago you little bitches! So jack off! She doesn’t deserve this.”

You top it off by sticking up your middle finger, causing a few giggles from Tori, who thought it was funny how the police looked slightly intimidated by a small ten year old. As well as Frisk, who just thought you chewing someone out was funnier than anything in the world.

You heard one of the officers clear their throats. “If you would come with us please?” You hesitated, wanting more than anything to stay, but you knew that Tori could be charged with kidnapping just because she was a monster if whoever was looking for you felt like it. You had a bad feeling you knew who filed you missing. That’s the only reason the police would care where you were.

You sighed as you nodded, following them out with your head down. Getting into the car as you felt Frisk’s and Tori’s eyes on your back. You sat in the back, putting your seatbelt on you adjusted your new jacket. The leather was light, it felt blue, darker than Sans jacket, like a navy. You really liked it.

You focused on your jacket the whole car ride to where you knew your house was. You ignored all the questions the officers asked you, simply glaring everytime you looked up, or offering a ‘fuck you’ when they threatened you. They couldn’t do shit, and they knew that you knew that. They were frustrated.

You finally arrived home, the male officer help you out with a restrained gentleness as you blew him off, getting out yourself. You were so tempted to run right then. To ditch this place, and go back home.

The voices were no longer quiet and were now screaming at you, fueled by the fear, the memories. You felt rage when your mother and her boyfriend answered the door, a false tone of relief, and happiness. A perfect picture.

You braced yourself when the officers left, when the door closed, and locked, when you mother left the room. When he picked up the bottle.

You clenched your eyes shut, wishing you were home. You almost started to hysterically laugh as you were knocked down. You were back where you started, praying for peace, wishing for something to save you.

It never changed, you were always put back at the start, nothing to save you. You were never safe, you would never feel peace. Not even as you felt unconscious tug at you, separating you from your bruising, and curled body as the pain rained down.

You felt restlessness as you passed out.


	32. Hurt

You groaned quietly as you felt soreness and pain wash over your body from all sides, you forced your body up. Stumbling on your bloody feet and unstable legs as dizziness from blood loss crashed into you.

You made yourself continue to stand as you tried to walk, you made it to the door as you twisted the knob. Locked, they locked your bedroom door. You laughed drily, they really had no effing clue what you were capable of did they?

You had to basically crawl to our window, but you made it as you opened it, they didn’t lock it. You slid your body through the window, closing it back up as you tumble ungracefully onto the roof. You sigh and grit your teeth as you land roughly on your back.

You scooted down, to the edge of the roof, you grabbed onto the gutter and fell, holding on for a second, before letting go. You felt lightheaded for a moment as your feet crashed against the ground.

You stood up straighter and smiled as you realized you made it out. You ducked down as you snuck out the front yard and dashed down the street, out of sight. You didn’t stop there, you kept going until you felt a familiar sink in the ground. You held out your hand, feeling the slight prick of thorns, a rose bush.

You waddled your way up the door and used the rail to haul yourself up the steps. You held your phone in your other hand, just in case they weren’t home. You raise your hand, but then let it fall as you instead call out.

“Knock, knock.” Your voice cracks, you lean your head against the wooden barrier. You hear shuffling, and a deep voice, you smile slightly.

“Who’s there?”

“Adore.”

“Adore who?”

You sigh tiredly and put more weight on the railing, feeling the dizziness increase and weigh you down. “There’s adore between us, may I come in?” You here more movement.

“Knock, knock.”

Your cloudy, tired eyes look up, still seeing nothing as you face the oak door you remember hazily. “Who’s there?”

“A knee.”

“A knee who?” You voice was shaking, you were having a hard time. You were so scared, tired, hurt. You just wanted to be free, you wanted to be warm, to feel love. No more chains.

“A knee time.”

You fall into the doorway as warm arms wrap around you and pull your skinny body in. They hold you up and hoist you onto their form, you feel their soft hair against your head as you smile, smelling the gentle scent.

Clean, spring.

“Knock, knock.” You whisper into his ear as he walks further into the warm house, shunning the cold dark night by closing the door and locking it shut.  
“  
Who’s there?” His voice is just as gentle.

“Olive.”

“Olive who?”

“Olive you.”

You hear a chuckle as James drapes a blanket over your small form as kisses your temple. “I love you too.” You feel him grab your phone softly as it begins to ring. Your eyes are half drooped, your weight was mostly on James’ lap as he sat down on the couch, just holding you.

He answers the phone. “Hello? No, it’s James, from the arcade? Yeah, it’s really me. No I didn’t, I just found her on my doorstep, yeah she’s with me. Pretty banged up, but functioning. You can say that again, yeah, of course, here.” He gently pushes the phone into your hand.

You hold it and put it to your ear, “Hello?”

*Hey kid, where are you?”

You looked around lazily, feeling distant, but you forced yourself back. “At James’, I broke out a window.”

*Wait? How did you? Never mind, can you give me the address?”

“Do I look like I know street names Sans, really?”

*Yeah, sorry, hand me back to your friend?” You pass the phone back as James gives Sans the address, and directions. You knew that wasn’t necessary though, shortcuts.

Literally seconds later the doorbell rings. James puts a finger to his lips and hides you under blankets. You close your eyes as you snuggle in and quiet your breathing as James answers the door.

You hear whispers as you wait, *Hey kid.” You poke your head up, you look around before feeling cold phalanges on your face. You close your eyes again as he pets down your matted hair, you knew there was some blood on it, but it was mostly clean.

You frowned a bit as you heard James grab the medical kit while Sans stayed right next to you. Sans moved you around a bit, checking your skin, every so often checking the deepness of a certain wound, or murmuring that he was sorry.

You hated this part.

James pulled your into his lap, and clipped your shirt so it would stay up. “I’m sorry kiddo, I know you don’t like this part.” You nodded, but stayed quiet as he cleaned your wounds and grabbed a needle for the deep ones.

You clenched your eyes shut as he sowed the ones on your back. You squealed sometimes as he cooed at you. You shrieked as he sowed the one on your stomach, it hurt, it really hurt. You felt Sans discomfort as he restrained from attacking James, but he knew that the male was just trying to help you.

James wrapped the wounds as he finished and you slumped down, you eyes still closed as your ragged breathing worked to even out, you felt yourself lifted and wrapped in a blanket as you started to tumble into unconsciousness.

*No, they found her at our house, they’ll check there again, we can’t have them find her before we get the legal stuff done and ready. She can’t live there anymore.”

“Yeah, keep her here, I work at home. I actually have something else you might be interested in knowing.”

You could stay awake any longer as the pain killers failed to work in time as you passed out.

You were filled with hurt as you felt your wounds healing.


	33. Accomplishment

You murmured a soft groan as you felt a feather light touch on your cheek. “Wakey, wakey dove~” You didn’t have to open your eyes as you sat up and grabbed Queen, she screeched as you pulled her down with you. Cuddling her.

She groaned and shoved you off, you landed on the other side of the couch with a ‘puff’. You smirked as you finally let her pull you up. “You’re an asshole, you know that right?” You smile and bob your head to nod.

You walk down the hall, yelping as you stub your toe, and hit a wall against the stitches on your back. “Whoops! Did I mention the moving boxes?”

“What?”

“Oh yeah! This is a bit of recent news! James is moving to a bigger house in the town! Actually not very far from here I guess, kinda near Baker’s Lane.”

Why did that street sound familiar? You brushed it off, favoring to drag Queen down the hall best you could and guilt her into making you the crepes she always bragged about making. You smiled and listened to her babble about her girlfriend as she lifted you into a chair and began to cook breakfast, apparently the whole family was here to help pack.

Even though the move wasn’t for a week or two, was that a short time frame for moving? You scooted over as you felt the seat shift and Mason take up most of the space on the barstool.  
You scowl, “Move your fat ass!”

He laughs and pulls you onto his lap, carefully cradling you in his arms. “Oh yeah little girl? At least I have an ass, you boney little girl.” You giggle and lean back.

“What can I say? I’m all about that skele-ass.” Queen snorts, as Mason laughs and nuzzles into your hair. You stick your tongue out at him as your crepe is set down, he tries to steal a bite and you smack his hand away. “Hell no boy.”

You bit into it and almost moan, same with Mason and the others who gather around for their breakfast, you don’t even pay attention as James sits next to you. “How’s my favorite ankle biter?” You pay him no mind as you continue eating.

You stick up your middle finger as he tries to take your plate, you hold back a small as he mock cries. “Now I know where I stand in your life, I am simply someone who is less important than a snooty food item.”

Queen snickers, “If it makes you feel worse, she loves the person that made it, isn’t that right m’dear?” You give a hum as she pats your head, causing James to cry to Mason.

“Masssonnnn, my little star doesn’t love meee.” Mason shrugs and continues to try and steal from you, chuckling when you slap his hand away, almost biting it. You loved (F/Berry/F) and cream cheese, bring it on, you would bite some mofos.”

“Hey kiddo, I got something for ya, min coming with me?” You sigh as you finish your food and nod, sliding of Mason’s lap as James blows him a kiss. You grab James hands as he leads you away.

“So, tell me, how would you feel about, living with me and Mason?” You looked up at him with your sightless eyes boring into his own light green eyes.

“Aren’t I a burden?”

He chuckled and ruffled your hair, pulling you into a warm embrace as he whispered into you hair. “No, I’ve been taking care of you for as long as I’ve known you, and I want to continue doing so. If you are okay with it, and let me.”

You hold onto his shirt, clenching it in your small fists as you nod. Your eyes feel misty as you cling onto him, his shirt felt red. You nod again as you bury your face into his chest while he coos at you.

You finally calm down as James grabs both of your hands in his own larger, callused ones. You wipe away your eyes as you smile, James parts with you as you run to go help Queen, who was calling you to help her pack up the guest room.

You held the boxes open and folded blankets the best you could as Queen continued to talk about everything going on, and how she was really happy that everyone was going to be closer in proximity, so she had somewhere to stumble when she was drunk.

You laughed at that part, until you realized she was serious. You reminded yourself to tattle to Lilith, then again, Lil would probably get drunk with her. Maybe tattling to Ridley was the better decision.

Yep, that would be the better choice. You didn’t think about anything else as you picked up the packing tape and started to close up the finished boxes.

You couldn’t deny the voice that wanted you to grab that box cutter and go to the bathroom, you couldn’t deny the itching feeling on your arms. You didn’t try to, you accepted them, but that didn’t mean you were going to do it. You were stronger than that.

You could do it, you smiled as you let Queen babble on, you didn’t mind as you hummed a small song to make the time speed up.

There ain’t no rest for the wicked,

Money don’t grow on trees,

I got bills to pay and mouths to feed,

Nothing in the world’s for free~

You always liked that song, the Caged Elephants were a good band. You swayed a bit, your hair hanging in front of your face as you bobbed your head to the beat.

You were filled with a sense of accomplishment.


	34. Optimism

You huffed and put your hands on your hip as you dropped the box at your feet, so dang heavy. You cross your arms as you plop yourself down, splaying your limbs against the ground. You were tired.

You still didn’t move as you felt a prodding foot at your ribs, “No.” Another poke. “No.” Another one, this time it shook you. “I’ve done thirteen ‘light’ boxes, no.” You heard cackling from the truck as you sat up.

“You call this heavy?! What wimpy losers!” You heard Queen look and just stare, she looked down at you. You guessed Undyne was here to help now.

“Is that woman, really carrying 14 boxes?” You shrugged.

“As long as they aren’t fragile, this is the woman that surplexes boulders for fun and can bench press seven children.”

“Damn, she should be on Lil’s kickboxing squad. Then again, I’d prefer not to have to fix holes in peoples body’s where they got hit.”

You shrugged, “They’re resilient.”

You got up and latched on to Undyne’s leg as she cackled once more and greeted you with a toothy grin. You stayed beside her as she did actually most of the work. James had called your friends for help since most of the family was at a card tournament this weekend.

What was the game again? Magic of the Gathering?

It didn’t matter, it now seemed pretty genius to invite Undyne, as long as you were able to keep her out of the kitchen. Papyrus was already in there with Lil helping set up furniture and putting things away.

You couldn’t believe how close you were to Frisk’s house, they were just down the street, that’s why the street name was familiar, it was Frisk’s street. Speaking of which, you didn’t know where Frisk, Toriel, or Sans were. Pap only said that Sans and James were out doing chores, nothing about the other two.

You shrugged it off as you passed James’ new studio, where Alphys was helping Ridley set up some of James’ art tablets and monitors so he could work on commissioned digital pieces. James was a professional artist and a free-lance journalist for an art magazine.

You had went to one of the galleries he wrote about with him, for research. You didn’t like it all that much, it smelled weird, and it’s not like you could even see any of the art work.

People kept telling you what a cultured young girl you were and asking which piece you liked best. You had to keep telling people you weren’t able to see, but they were really nice about it.

One woman even asked you to help her with her sand art and let you sign it. It was fun, even if you don’t really know what it looked like in the end.

You heard Undyne laugh as she put down the last boxes, the whole truck, which took you and the others three hours to unpack the first one, only took Undyne ten minutes. You were impressed, it was a really good idea to let Pap bring her along.

You hugged Undyne’s leg as she chuckled and patted your head, before lifting you up and boasting about how she could bench press seven children and a skeleton now. You guessed the skeleton was Papyrus. Sans didn’t seem like he would be willing to do something like that.

You weren’t set back down, even as Undyne watched Alphys and Ridley work. You heard Ridley stop and hold something out to you. You grabbed it. “Light or dark?” Oh, yeah, you forgot Ridley was colorblind and working with colored wires.

“Light green.”

“Green? Dammit, I thought it was orange or yellow or something.” You shrugged while you felt Undyne get really excited as she shoved something else into your hands.

“When did you take off your shoe?”

“Just tell me the color punk.”

“Red, really dark red, ox blood?”

You heard Undyne cackle and yell how cool that was while Alphys was asking how you knew. You answered any of her questions while trying to not get dizzy from Undyne spinning you around.

“You’re a cool nerd!”

You chuckled, you heard a crash in the kitchen and shouting, did Lil set something on fire again? “Dang it Pyrian! I was trying so hard not to set that off!”

Close enough.

You waved to Undyne and quickly made your way down the stairs to the kitchen and helped calm down the situation, which you soon learned was Pyrian accidentally setting off a line of party poppers. Dangerous in itself, especially around someone nicknamed after fire for a reason.

You sigh tiredly as the day dragged on, where were James and Sans? Toriel was now here, helping decorate and keep everyone on task and not setting things aflame, though you still kept your nose sharp for any sign of smoke (anything that wasn’t Pap’s spaghetti anyway).

You smiled as you felt Frisk hug you from behind, you returned the gesture as they quickly got to work helping you with cutting open boxes. You questioned whoever decided to give you a knife to do this job, but you were fine with it.

Frisk didn’t feel comfortable with the knife at all so they were sawing open boxes with a stray screwdriver. You didn’t ask why, you felt like it was a touchy subject, so you left them to struggle with their tool of choice.

You heard the doorbell go off as someone in the house ran off to go answer it. You heard the familiar low rumble of Sans’ voice and James’ footsteps. You looked to the open door of the room just as Sans appeared.

He froze seeing you with a knife, but calmed down as he saw Frisk sawing a box with the screw driver and you with a slit box in front of you. *Hey kid, why are you handling a knife?”

You shrug, “Asked myself the same thing.” You continued pulling boxes onto your lap and opening them, passing them to Sans as you he set up the room with James, this was the guest room.

You sighed as you finally finished the last box around you, you felt Frisk shove you a bit. You smiled, and stuck your tongue out at them.

You were filled with optimism for the future.


	35. Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You want angst?
> 
> You got angst
> 
> Enjoy my darlings!

Your eyes opened, but you squinted at the harsh light, your nose scrunched as a foul scent wormed its way into your senses. What was this room, you didn’t like it all, the air felt like it had weight, it was so heavy.

You looked around, things were blurry, but even slightly visible. You sighed, you never relied on your eyesight alone anyway. You reached for the wall to guide yourself, but you pulled it back quickly, as if you were electrocuted. There were gashes on the wall, human sized, as if they were made from someone scratched the wall incessantly.

You reached again and put your nails in the gap, some were smaller than your nails, but the newer ones, were the wall was still crumbling off in bits, fit your fingers perfectly. You had a dim thought that you could try to pry your way through, but you didn’t attempt it.

You continued to search around, you felt dizzy from the stench as you continued to look for a door, or even a window, you couldn’t find any. That seemed wrong, something felt off, and familiar about this place, and you really weren’t liking it.

You felt along the walls, the numerous cracks and claw marks made it hard to distinguish what could be a hidden door, or close to such. Yet, you still tried, silently knocking on the walls, waiting for an echo of a hallway.

*nothing

You felt even more familiarity surround you as you tried again, something was so wrong. It was on the tip of your tongue, how did you know this place. Why? You couldn’t remember, you tried again, kicking the walls, calling out for someone.

*but nobody came

You took one more look around, your eyes widen as memories hit you like a freight train. You did know this place, you had seen this when you were smaller. This is when…

You jumped as a loud thunk resounded through the room and you heard a dark chuckle, you shivered in fear and quickly scrambled backwards, looking for means of escape as the tall figure killed that hope. Grabbing your arm roughly and twisting it.

You closed your eyes and screamed.

*but nobody came

No one ever did.

~

You jolted awake, your eyes shooting open as you felt a cold sweat almost crawling down your back. You shuddered and went quiet listening, nothing, except. You sighed in relief as you heard Frisk’s gentle breathing on the floor beside you.

You quieted crept over to them, your wormed your way under their blanket and softly put your head on their back as they breathed evenly, moving your head. You closed your eyes, just them breathing beneath you made your heartrate calm down as you felt calmer. Serene.

You didn’t want to wake them up, but you didn’t want to go back and be alone. You figured that you had to, you made a move to leave, but then Frisk flipped over and their arms encircled your back and shoulders, tugging you back down.

You tensed, but you could feel their eyes on you. You were embarrassed, you probably seemed like such a freak. You waited, but you didn’t feel anything you expected as they pulled you closer, putting your head underneath their own protectively. They wanted to protect you from the bad dreams.

You felt a pang in your heart as you realized how sweet they were to you. You cuddled closer to them, wrapping your own thin arms around them and relaxing against them. Your eyes drooped as you felt their heartbeat in your ears.

So, warm. Everything was peaceful. You felt their hand in your hair, petting it down as they reassured you. You curled against them as you both stayed beneath the blanket in the early morning.

No words were even needed as you both simply breathed in time, no need to explain, no need to leave. No need to fear. You felt as if you had silently called out to them, and for once.

*somebody came

You called out for someone and they finally came, you felt so happy. So happy. You felt like your past no longer mattered, you were finally safe. Undyne was here, James was here, Toriel, Sans, Pap, everyone. Even Frisk who was making you feel better for absolutely nothing at all.

You felt your eyes burning as you realized that you were such a burden, you were probably dragging them down. Slowing them so you could keep up with them. You felt bad, but you really needed them. You felt like a clingy and needy brat.

Your thoughts began to fill with self-hatred until your felt a warm hand on your cheek. You looked up with wide and tearful eyes. You felt them smile at your as they wiped away some of the stray drops from your cheeks.

You closed your eyes as they drew nearer, they put their lips on your forehead. You felt every bad thought leave you immediately erased from your mind as you focused on them.

You felt them smile again as they pulled your body back to them, their arms embracing you tighter than before. You nuzzled your head deeper into their collarbone, keeping them close to you as you focused on their breathing.

You just realized how nice they smelt, it was a cross of pie vanilla. You really liked it, it was soothing, you unconsciously took a deeper breath and sighed. They pulled you even closer than humanely possible as you felt their eyes close and their breaths even out once more.

You stayed put, just reveling in the warmth, the quiet, suddenly the dark didn’t seem so scary. You didn’t mind it, you weren’t afraid anymore. You still couldn’t help but traces the scars up your arms, and touching the ones on your lower back, even the new ones yet to scar.

These weren’t your fault, these weren’t your fault.

You finally believed it, you finally believed it. You wanted to cry in relief, but you don’t. There is still something weighing you down, but there isn’t anything you can do about that for now. You simply wait. 

You felt other people’s sins crawling on your back.


	36. Love

It had been awhile, the police had found you again, but James had papers for them. Adoption papers, signed by your mother. You had no clue how they did it, the only thing you had heard about was Queen snickering about how James and Sans made good delivery boys.

Were they using disguises, like spies?

That really excited you, spies! With the lasers and the cool sunglasses, though, you didn’t exactly get what a laser was, but you had a pair of sunglasses. You didn’t know where they went though.

You waved it off, you could always steal James’, you knew he had generic brand ‘aviators’ those were a brand of sunglasses right. You heard your phone buzz on the wood as you picked it up, you unlocked it and opened the message, the voice automated system on your phone immediately read the text to you.

‘Hey (Y/N) it’s me, Frisk. Do you wanna meet up at the arcade tomorrow? 3 o’clock.’

You smiled and used your microphone to send back a text. ‘Yeah, I’ll get James to give me a ride.’ You rolled over off your bed as you heard James open the front door. “(Y/N)~ I’m home darling!”

You giggled and ran down the hall, grabbing at James’ waist as he ruffled your hair and picked you up effortlessly. You felt your ribs bend, you poked them slightly, maybe Toriel was right and you were too skinny. You guessed that how much pie Toriel was putting in front of you each time you visited would fix that. You grinned as James kissed your cheek, walking with you on his hip.

“Sooo, how’s my favorite girl?” You smiled and nuzzled into his neck. Clinging onto him tightly as you both walked toward the kitchen and he set you down onto the counter.

“I’ve been good, can you give me a ride to the arcade tomorrow?” You heard James bump the fridge closed with his hip and he hummed.

“I’m guessing three right? Toriel called me, Mace is taking you already, is that good?” You nodded happily as your legs swung from the counter. “Oh, which by the way, Mason’s gonna be late to dinner tonight, so you know what that means~”

You smirk, jumping off the counter as you grab the landline and you hear James race to get the T.V. remote. “PREPARE TO GET REKT!!!”

You snicker, “Oh yeah? Bring it on! I AM smarter than a fifth grader!” You dial the numbers you had already memorized. “Oh yes? Hello! Can I please have a large pizza, half ham and pineapple and half (F/T). Yes, hand tossed please. Oh, yes breadsticks and… one moment.”

You reach into the fridge and take a sip of the liter already in there. Diet. “Diet Pepsi please.” You hang up and make your way to the living room. “Your taste in soda is worthless!” You hear James cackle, you roll your eyes as you grab your buzzer.

“Ready to get your ass kicked dad?” You freeze, but James doesn’t, you feel him smile at you as he pulls you closer to him. You smile, until you are smacked by a paper plate of whip creamed.

“Get dunked on love~!” You grumble and wipe it off, shooting you hand up to smear it on his face. You stick your tongue out at him as you feel him grin at you as the game starts.

~

A pizza, some soda, a few carrots, and fifty embarrassingly easy questions later you have James almost crying as you wipe the floor with him. Turns out, for never seeing a map, you were pretty good at Geography.

“It’s not fair~ you’re in fourth gradEEE! That was years ago for meee~” He whines loudly. You smile and put a finger on your cheek as you wink. You hear the door open as you grin, you pat James back as he darts away. “Macie baby! I got my ass kicked…”

You felt Mason walk in the room, you could practically here him rolling his eyes. You pointed, “It’s his fault, I offered him a map, he said no.” You heard James slink closer as you shot up, “No, no, I said no!”

You tried to run but James caught you and immediately forced you onto his lap as he started to give you a noogie, “Daddd~ Papa! Help meee!” You felt Mason pause, before immediately scooping you up and peppering you face in small kisses and cuddling you close.

Mason was never good with words.

You grinned as you were sandwiched between the happy couple as you cuddled you as You three crashed onto the couch, Mason grabbed a piece of pizza and leaned back, watching your game as he helped James with the difficult math questions.

You grinned as something came up that neither of them knew, you answered it easily, Mason whistled lowly. “How did you get that? I didn’t learn that until eighth grade… Maybe freshman year of high school.”

You smiled, and stood up, and sang that stupid little song you always remembered for some weird reason. “The quadratic formula’s negative ‘b’~ Plus or minus the square root, of ‘b’ squared minus four ‘a’ ‘c’! UP OVER TWO ‘A’!” You giggled as you fell back down between them, it was quiet for a while before James broke the silence.

“Our child’s a genius.”

“Agreed.”

You giggled as you were enveloped in two pairs of warm arms, your smile was so wide it hurt your cheeks as the hours ticked on and your eyes slowly slipped close. The night was quiet as a few deep chuckles resounded in the room and Mason picked up your limp body, James trailing slightly behind with a small smile.

Mason walked into your room carefully, not letting your protruding limbs brush against the walls in fear you would awake, being so sensitive to touch and audio ques. He sighed in relief as he made it out unscathed and he tucked you into bed. James watched from the door frame of the bedroom with a small smile.

Mason watched your even breathing for a moment, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “G’night baby girl.” He brushed away your hair from your face and walked out as James turned off the light, watching you and Mason with a bright smile never leaving his face.

You were filled with love.


	37. Anticipation

You woke up the next day to a strange pixel-like music blaring in your ears as you picked up the phone. “Hi sweetie~ It’s dad, I was just letting you know that Mason is taking you to the arcade in an hour so you should probably get up and aHHH! NO! BAD PERSON!” You chuckle as you place down your phone and he hangs up. His co-workers loved to prank him, it wasn’t a surprise to hear him shrieking.

You stumbled to your dresser as you pulled out one of the preset outfits ‘James’, aka Mason, made for you to where, so you didn’t have to wing it anymore. You guessed Mettaton helped him a bit to as you felt a necklace hidden in the bundle of clothes. Mason wasn’t good with jewelry, but Mettaton was always trying to weigh you down with tons of bracelets and such.

You didn’t mind, you could feel the necklace, a small heart. You thought it was so small, cute. You struggled with the clip for a moment until longer fingers sneaked by your own and fitted it effortlessly. You could tell from the silence surrounding him it was Mason.

“Hi Papa, um, have you seen my shoes?” You felt a hand ruffle you hair and your body being picked up as you adjusted your jacket on your shoulders. He placed you down on the bench near the door and grabbed your shoes, putting them on for you. You giggled, “You know I can do that right?” 

“So?”

You giggled again as your now clothed feet hit the ground and you grabbed his hand. “Just letting you know.” You stood back up again as he grabbed your hand and led you out the door. You hopped into the backseat of the small car.

You frowned a bit, you still weren’t a big fan of cars, but you could deal with them you guessed. You fiddled with your fingers, and the case of your phone. Anything to take your mind off the rumble of the motor, or the bounce of the streets against the tires.

You closed your eyes, every time you hadn’t gotten into a car it had meant bad. Last time you had almost drowned, the other times… You shuddered, shunning the thoughts. You didn’t have to worry about that anymore, nothing was weighing you down. You didn’t need to be constantly peeking over your shoulder. Not anymore.

You opened your eyes again, you still saw nothingness, but it felt a little brighter than the house as your eyes squinted unconsciously. You must have the sun in your eyes, you turned your head and your eyes went back to normal. Better.

You thoughts wandered as you messed with the tips of your hair, what color was it anymore? You didn’t know, you thought it was (H/C), but had that changed? Were your eyes still (E/C)? Or were they so hazed and blank that they weren’t their color anymore.

Your fingers trailed up the sleeves of your jacket as you snuck them under and felt the bumps and ridges of your skin. They weren’t going to go away, none of the scars would. Not the ones you hated, not the ones you caused. None of them. Were you ugly? When someone looked at you were the scars all they’d see?

You kept those little thoughts to yourself, it didn’t matter for now. You would deal with it, there wasn’t anything you couldn’t work out on your own. You always used to, so you held the feelings and closed them in a little chest, for later. You pasted on a giant grin as you felt the car stop and heard the door open.

You opened your own door and slid out gratefully. You closed it back down and immediately Mason was at your side as you crossed the street and went to the entrance of the arcade. You peeked back, the car never passed. You didn’t narrowly avoid it, your narrowed your eyes. You peeked up to where you knew the sky was, before entering the dim arcade.

You smiled as Frisk attached to your arm as soon as you stepped in and dragged you along to one of the couches. You chuckled as you heard Punch Out music, the final circuit track. They’d gotten stuck on Sandman.

“Second or first trial?” You heard two claps, you smiled and grabbed the controller from them. “Don’t matter now, he’s as good as done.” You gained a smug smirk as you fingers clacked against the buttons, you paid no mind as more people gathered round cheering you on.

You chuckled, “Let me do my move without saying its name beforehand! Said no video game character with a voice actor ever.” You felt Frisk’s head lean on your shoulder and their body shake. You felt some pride in making them laugh as you used the sound ques to duck and dodge, finally knocking him out with a triple star punch.

You heard loud cheers and laughter as Frisk tackled you in a massive hug, the words were unspoken but you could guess what they probably would have said. You felt a boney hand on your head. “You’re good kid, how did you do that?” You smile at him.

“Cause, I’m a badass, that’s all you need to know.” You grinned at him, Frisk tugged on your sleeve and handed you a paper.

‘Wanna take a walk?’ You smiled at them and nodded, they took your hand. You let them take the lead as you walked the sidewalk. You smiled and faced the ground as they messed with your fingers, you grinned. You swore you felt your face getting warmer, you shook it off and enjoyed the cool breeze.

You heard the roaring of an engine drive past, quite quickly. Your eyes followed the sound, before they darted away and you kept up with Frisk. You didn’t want to worry them, but you knew that it wasn’t over.

There was a storming brewing, and you could feel in crawling under your skin. Like a fire that was burning slowly, but you knew would explode into action quite soon.

You were filled with anticipation.


	38. Resolve

You were soon led back to the arcade, you tripped and toddled beside Frisk. You felt them constantly peaking back, you didn’t know, but something was spooking them. You squeezed their hand and smiled at them. They were still tense, but you felt them smile back gently as the scent of cheap buttered popcorn started over powering the spice-y vanilla scent that followed Frisk like a shadow.

You were hustled in and you felt yourself being lifted onto a strong hip and felt scaly skin beneath your hands. You smiled at Undyne as she laughed and noogied you, putting you in a chokehold why still holding you up. You felt your ribs bump against her arm.

Yeah, you were surprised by how skinny you still were, your metabolism must be really high. You ate pizza for the third night this week… Papa got home late a lot, and let’s say that Dad, his taste in soda wasn’t the only thing that was crap. He burned mac and cheese.

Before he put the noodles in the pot.

He melted the freaking spoon in the water.

You were glad that you could still stomach instant noodles, you needed the skill. Speaking of which, you ran your finger over your braille watch. You hummed as you tapped Undyne’s shoulder and she put you down, ruffling your hair as you ran past. Tackling into Mason’s legs, you smile as you hear the wind whistle, Sans.

You hear air movement and you realize Frisk is beside Sans waving. You feel them walk up to you as you peek out and stand up. Your head bumps into their chest as you realize how tall they are. You pout and look up.

“C’mon, you can’t be that much older than me. How are you so tall?” You felt Frisk give you a crooked grin, you felt them put a finger at your lips as you raised an eyebrow at them as they moved behind you. You almost turned until your legs were on their shoulders and you were in the air. You tightened your legs against their shoulders as your hands gripped their hair.

Brown… Darker at the roots, but still very dark at the ends. Short, you liked it. You moved and curved your back to balance, you felt yourself losing it until you felt a hand on your back. You mind automatically worked to make a picture, but you could hear anything there.

The hand stayed until you were put down, you leaned heavily against Mason as you tried to think in through. You only saw one option, you held onto Mason’s leg and let your head droop as your eyes closed.

~

You opened your eyes, seeing the rusted stains on the ceiling, the scratches on the wall. Blood stains on the floor, you refused to look at them as your eyes scanned the room. Falling on a lone figure, it was taller than you, their back was facing you, a knife was in their hand and shaggy light brown hair was covering their neck from your (E/C) eyes.

You smiled and walked towards them, they didn’t notice until you wrapped a hand around theirs. Holding it as you gently tugged the knife from their grasp. “You don’t need this.”

“Don’t you?” Their reply came swiftly, you knew exactly what they meant. You looked at the clock, seeing the red blaring letters, eight minutes.

“No, you can’t change the past.” You toss the knife down. “What’s done is done, the universe rights it’s wrongs. If I did alter it, then it would only come back stronger the next scene I take part in.”

You saw them turn slightly, revealing their lips to your ever staring eyes, but not their eyes. “What if, what if you really want to? What if you know you can save someone?” You smile at them, grabbing their now free hand.

“Then, you and save them in the today. No need to avenge them, no need for red to spill. There is always more than just one unused path.” You saw them hang their head.

“I just miss him, I can’t help what I do… I want to get stronger to save him. I want him to come home. I miss my brother.” You used the sleeve of your own sweater to wipe a tear that is running down their cheek.

“Then abandon power, and get strength. You can’t get that on your own. You get strong from love, not LOVE, from friends, not ex-foes.” You smile at them and grab their other hand in your free one.

“Then why do I feel empty when I don’t?”

You smile and look down, “Yes, I suppose there is a sort of emptiness guilt creates, but denying help and doing the same thing over is stupid. Trying to patch up a bullet hole with a bandage and calling it good. Just, be yourself, I felt you there, your hate, but I also felt the person you used to be.”

You look back up into their crimson eyes, “Your brother is home, maybe it’s just time to finally go home yourself. Go save him.” They looked down at you.

“Is it really so easy to be free?”

You grin at him, letting go and stepping back. “Yes it is, now close your eyes, and count to three.” You watched as their mouth moved.

One,

A creak from behind you, a tick on the clock, they were still there, their eyes tightly clenched.

Two,

You saw them visibly relaxen, their eyes still closed, but you knew they saw. “Azzy?” Their hands looked like they wanted to reach up and touch something. You smiled at them widely, leaning forward and clasping your hands behind your back. Your white dress flowed freely, as it always did in this place.

Three,

You put a finger to your lips and made a hushing noise as their form stopped flickering and their crimson eyes shot open, looking directly at you. They smiled softly at you as the door slammed open and they looked at you. Into you.

“My name is Chara, take care of Frisk for me, okay? They mean a lot to Mom.” You smiled and waved at them.

“I will, rest in peace Chara, tell your brother I say hello. I wish you the best.” Their once always fake blood lusting smile was replaced with a massive grin that was brighter than any star you had ever had the chance to see.

Your smiled lessened a bit as they disappeared, but you still smiled as tears fell freely down your face. You couldn’t change the past, it would always come after you. You were okay with that though.

Because, maybe, just maybe. You could change your future, starting with all those damned dark shadows that haunted you. Wrapping around your limbs and holding you down. You picked up the knife again as the figure walked in.

You were done with running, it was time you stood up.

You weren’t going to be scared anymore. You weren’t going to flee, to hide. You were sick of it, his darkness tainting what he hadn’t taken from you yet. Your soul shined brilliantly within your being as you cut off your bindings and gave the figure the knife with a smile.

He wouldn’t disturb you anymore, you wouldn’t feel terror at the memory of what he did to you. You wouldn’t feel sorrow at what has happened, you wouldn’t blame yourself anymore. Your old self was poisoned, intoxicated but now you were healthy again. Sober. Free.

You were filled with resolve as you faced your demons with a smile.


	39. Dragged

Your eyes peeled themselves soon enough, it felt like an eternity. You felt for your braille watch. Three in the morning, you smiled as you thought of the young child that you had met. Good kid, bad hand they were given.

At least now they had a chance at redemption.

You slid out of bed, your bare feet landing on the floor softly as you padded down the hall way. You felt the air shift around you as you brushed your hands down your legs. Dress, someone changed you into a nightgown.

You smiled tightly before sneaking down the hall further. Listening silently. “I’m worried Mase, child services came up to me today. They said it was valid, unless her legal father came and claimed her. Since he never signed her adoption papers. We’re lucky that the agent didn’t check to see if her mother knew what she signed.”

You heard a sigh and more pacing. “Even though she would probably be too wasted to even comprehend English.” Your eyes fled to the ground as you leaned against the wall.

“I get what you’re saying Jamie, I really do, but if he hasn’t bothered to come forward in all the years of her life, what are the chances of it happening now?” You decided to pop in now.

“None, it really won’t happen. I promise.” You felt both people turn to you in surprise and almost immediately gathered up into a pair of warm arms. You felt the figure beneath you sit down, with you on his lap. Dad, his necklace was cold against the back of your neck.

“What do you mean baby girl?” You look at them coolly.

“My father’s dead. He committed suicide before I was diagnosed. Like when I was four I think. The doctors said it may have been one of mother’s triggers with her bipolar disorder. The thing she takes meds for. Unless zombies exist and have a solid conscious and rights.” You felt another pair of arms softly crush you.

“Was… Was he a good man?” You leaned back, in between the two males. You twiddled your thumbs a bit. You smiled softly, remembering his massive grin.

“Yeah, father was a good man. He had this really big smile. He used to read to me all the time and he had a really thick accent. It was Ukrainian, I’m pretty sure. It made his voice sound really cool. I never really picked it up though.”

Your eyes moved up a bit as you tried to reach back a bit further. “He was tall, really tall. He made my 6”1 daycare worker look like a midget. He always looked sharp, father was really handsome. He made mother happy. Really happy.”

You mused a bit as you had their full attention. “I wonder if mother will ever be that happy again. I don’t think so, but maybe. Not now, she’s too hateful yet, she needs to let go. Then, she might have a chance.” You felt a hand in your hair as you tilted your head to lean against James again.

“Yeah, she might, but for now. You deserve to be happy too.” You felt yourself being picked up and taken back to bed. You said nothing else as you felt the house go dark and everything seem to settle.

“If I really do, if I do deserve to feel happiness. Why have I always been told otherwise? Though, I guess it makes sense. I’ve seen this world, it isn’t a black and white world. It’s full of greys and silvers.” You shifted to your side and your eyes looked blankly at a wall you barely knew was there.

“Why did he always tell me otherwise? Why did he force me to only see the dark? Why did he hurt me, and leave me there?” You thought your left all your demons behind, but now they seemed to resurface, clawing at you with a vengeance.

You couldn’t even scream properly. You just laid there as they shredded you apart and you slowly traced the scars on your fore arms with your nails. It felt like they were going to rip apart at a single touch.

You had a distant memory of lying down like this. Cold, concrete, dizziness. You vaguely remember getting sick. You closed your eyes once more.

~

You groaned at loud, but you could barely hear it, your ears ached as blood ran out of them swiftly. You held your hands to your ears weakly as you heard thundering footsteps. Your legs hurt, scratch that, everything hurt.

Your eyes opened to slits, everything was blurring, then coming back with clarity, it was like your eyes were a magnifying scope trying to get into focus. You forced yourself to get to your knees. You whimpered, your ears didn’t appreciate the sound.

Your eyes barely focused to see the rust colored walls and the dark red staining your clothes and the floor until you were forced into a closer look at the floor. A boot on your bleeding head, pressing down.

A whine left your lips, you felt like your head was going to explode. You heard a deep laugh. “What? You want me to stop?” The voice was very muffled, you could barely hear it, it sounded so very distant from your own form.

You felt yourself being lifted by your hair, you screeched as he yelled in your broken ears. “You worthless idiot! Listen when I speak!” You fell down once more as he kicked your ribs before backing away. “Tell anyone and I’ll kill you. Your mother was right, you suck the joy out of everything, I can’t even enjoy this anymore, useless girl.”

Your heart pounded in your ears as you desperately clung to the light from the open door, and it was shut in your face. You shivered. It was so cold, really cold. You curled into a ball to try and preserve heat, but the warmest thing here was the blood beneath you.

You cried quietly, tears running down your face as you began to cough harshly. Causing saliva to run down your jaw. You wiped it away with a shaky arm as you went limp. Your eyes drooped as your cheek laid in a puddle of warm crimson liquid, and felt the rough and freezing concrete floor.

Maybe, just five minutes wouldn’t hurt. Your white dress covered your body as your shivering stopped and your body fell unconscious.

You scream quietly as you are dragged down by your memories and your fears.


	40. Gratitude

You shot awake, your body shaking like a leaf caught in a thunderstorm as you wrapped your arms around yourself. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, but you knew that was a lie, so you took a shaky breath. Bending over your knees you took another one, feeling it already growing easier to do so. You forced yourself to sit back up straight. You took another raspy breath and forced yourself to stand. You wobbled a bit, but you managed it.

What a weird night.

First, you dream of a random kid, ‘save them’, and still without gaining control of your body relive a night of hell, then you talk about your father, a man who you have never ever uttered a word about since his death, and lastly, that, thing. That little memory you have wanted to scrub away with bleach ever since the day you got it.

You ignored it still.

Hear no evil, see no evil. It doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist. It never happened, no, never. That was something that you had heard about on the news, or some story. It wasn’t you, you were fine. You were happy, happy, happy.

You forced a giant grin on your face. “See? I’m happy. So happy.” Nothing was wrong. You were fine. It was all fine. It never happened. You wouldn’t think about it, and you wouldn’t tell.

You couldn’t tell, you would never tell.

Your mouth was as good as duct taped.

You wouldn’t tell.

But, he still did. It hurt, it hurt, and it never stopped hurting. You still felt it, every time you moved. Like rocks in your chest, rattling, it hurt. You wanted it to go away, but you knew it wouldn’t until you faced it head on.

You were too scared to. You didn’t want to think about it, you didn’t want to tell anyone. It was a burden on your own shoulders, you didn’t want to share it. It was too heavy, you had collapsed into yourself so many times because of it, you didn’t want anyone to hurt like you did, fall like you did. Lose all feeling like you had.

You grab a hoodie from your chair and throw it on yourself. Using it for some extra warmth, you were grateful you still had some spring break left. You were lucky that Toriel was kind enough to help get you caught up when you were resting from all the crap going down.

You forced yourself to your feet and down the hall, you straightened yourself so you didn’t stumble as you walked to the kitchen. You didn’t hear anyone, you moved your head to get better access to your ears.

Still nothing but the humming of water pipes and the A/C running on full blast. You walked to the dining table, still nothing. You reached out and found a note. You brushed your fingers over it swiftly, careful not to get a papercut.

‘Had to go to work, and Mason didn’t want to wake you up just to drag you along for errands. There’s a surprise for you in my room, we can talk about it when we get home later! Stay safe, there’s some spaghetti (It’s not Pap’s, it’s edible) in the fridge. Call us if you need anything! <3'

You sighed and walked to James’ and Mason’s room, you stopped at the door as you heard clanking. Movement. You tensed, you had to be brave this time, no more running from things that scare you.

You opened the door gently, you peeked in. Whatever was moving around, it was small and light. You maneuvered your body in, knees bent and ready. Probably ready to sprint away, but you liked to think it was to tactically retreat.

You yelped as you felt something tackle you. You felt something fuzzy on your chest as you fell to your rump. You slowly reached to your chest and heard a purr, you squealed, it was a small little kitty.

You wrapped your arms around it gently and used a finger to scratch its chin. You heard a meow and a purr as you giggled. Now sitting up and cross legged as you placed in on your lap. You felt a collar around its neck and you touched the engravings on the tag.

“Huh, glad I learned the other alphabet.” You slowly traced the letters, it was difficult, but eventually you came up with what it said.

“Maria…Maria! So, that’s your name huh girl?” You heard a meow and a fuzzy paw on your face. You laughed as you traced it back to a fuzzy small creature and you pet her back the newly dubbed Maria curled onto your lap.

You giggled and picked her up, so this is what James and Mason were mumbling about all week. You smiled, it was a nice surprise. Maybe you could handle being alone more often without a babysitter now, well, maybe. There was still your disability, but you could handle yourself in your own home.

People always asked why you didn’t want a seeing-eye dog too, for when you went out. You just didn’t understand the sentiment of them. Dogs were loud, and unpredictable and frankly, you didn’t care if you were blind. You didn’t have to be a dog person just because it was more convenient.

You liked cats, they were smart and quiet. It was just a personal preference.

You smiled as you sat down on the couch and pulled out your phone and ear buds into your ears. The soft music played as you gently pet your new friend. You smiled as you waited for your family to come home.

You were filled with gratitude.


	41. Determination

It turns out that was your birthday present originally, but with you living with your mother and everything going down, the dads decided to wait until life was stable to get you the furry companion you always wanted.

Frisk had told you what she looked like when they came to visit, a little white kitten with orange and black spots and two different colored eyes. It was unique, and a complete sweetheart. You grinned as you pet her.

It was nice to cuddle with her when you had your nightmares, which were becoming less frequent. School had ended now, so you were enjoying the sun without fearing bruises and scars showing through. You still had the scars, but they didn’t embarrass you. Now it was the fourth of July, a holiday you usually weren’t fond of.

However now, on a ledge with Frisk at your side, the loud bangs and screaming faded into the background. You leaned on Frisk, you head on their shoulder. Everything was calm, and warm. You felt peaceful.

You could feel the flashes of light on your closed eyelids as you felt Frisk’s arm go around your shoulders. You felt the silence weigh down on you, until something very unexpected broke it.

“(Y/N)?” You looked up and around, who was that? You heard a small laugh. “(Y/N), it’s me.” You faced Frisk, an incredulous look on your face, until it softened to a small smile.

“Yes, Frisk?”

“Can we stay like this forever?” You squeezed their hand as you snuggled back up to them. You head now on their collar bone, your shorter height fitting perfectly beneath their chin. You squeezed their hand again.

“I’d like that.”

You both were filled with determination.

The End

 

...

 

?

 

its never the end

we haven't rolled the credits yet!

Author: LiL! (CreepyLittleLullaby)  
Beta: Grammarly, Hemingway, and Spell-check

 

If you wanna read more of my stuff check out my profile! Or my Quotev, which is the same user! CreepyLittleLullaby! Have a nice day!


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